Embracing Each Other

I was sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room a couple of days ago and was observing some children playing.  The children were of mixed gender, race, language and potentially religious background.  Here is how their interaction went:

My name is yyy – what’s yours?

My name is zzz – let’s play.

It was as simple as that – authenticity in its purest form.  Once they had some context by which they could name each other, that was all that was important to having an authentic relationship.

As I have been consumed by authenticity lately, I have started a detailed review of my social network, the hundreds of emails I receive daily from this network, the hundreds of invites I receive to participate in events, etc.  While I am grateful for all of this, my recent focus on authenticity has caused me to examine much of this traffic in a closer manner.

Here are some exaggerated snippets:

I am an 18-year old student and life coach.  I believe my 18 years of life have been invaluable and I would like to share this supreme knowledge with you at a discounted monthly rate of $xxxx.  <<yes – some 18-year olds have lived a full live – however ……>>

I am an enlightened life guru with no job or life experience but I would like to show you how the Law of Attraction can earn tons of money for you.  <<meanwhile a background check on the person shows they are bankrupt and the only thing the Law of Attraction is helping them with is making money promoting the Law of Attraction>>

I am an expert on collaboration and believe that we all need to work together to make this world a better place for all.  By the way,  let me tell  you that so and so has a chance to steal some of our market so if we can find any way to discredit or sue him, there’s more money in it for us.  <<I’m sorry, tell me again how this is collaboration>>

I need your help promoting product xyz.  It’s not MLM of any type but you’re at the bottom, I’m at the top and if you put in 80 hours a week, I will get rich.  <<now there’s an incentive>>

How about gems like these?

I serve on the board for corporation xyz and I know the CEO is stealing money, but if I rat on her, people will not hire me for other boards because I will not be perceived as a team player.  <<meanwhile, that person gets paid to make public presentations about the need for transparency, honesty and accountability>>

“We provide a high quality product to the consumer”, quotes a senior executive of a major frozen food manufacturer to me on a plane one afternoon two years ago.  “That being said, I don’t let my kids eat it”. “Why not?”, I ask.  “Because I know what is in that stuff”, is the reply, the speaker oblivious to the disconnect of that statement from his assertion of the high quality of their product.

Authenticity.

I wonder:

• if the fear of being perceived as not being as in control as the next person causes some people to be less than authentic, since we don’t want to be perceived as weak amongst our peers.
• if the fear of expressing our real selves causes us to repackage our knowledge, beliefs and passions into something the masses will agree with (even if this is not in congruence with what is important to us).
• if the fear of appearing to be too normal causes people to elevate their status so as to be far beyond normal (ah, so you’re just an accountant; well, I am Master of the Galaxy – Well, I’m not just an accountant, I am really the Accountant Guru of the Universe – Oh yeah?  Well I am ……).
• if the fear of appearing to not be able to stay caught up (whether it be in knowledge, money, gadgets or other toys) causes us to overspend our resources while lack of authenticity with ourselves prevents us from putting the brakes on this self-destructive behavior.  Don’t forget – whoever dies with the most toys …… is dead.
• if the notion of exposing our heart, mind and spirit to others may also allow others to see our pain and our weaknesses, allowing them to see that we are in fact human.  Since this demonstrates that we are less than perfect, we present a false persona where we never fret, get angry or cry.
• if the fear of exposing others to our personal belief structure, including our belief in God (or other deity important to us), is so strong that we are ashamed to live by the values of our belief structure, fearing ridicule or fearing being ostracized from our peers, clients and others.
• if the fear of failure paralyzes us and prevents us from trying anything, forcing us to rely on someone else to solve our problems (which then creates frustration because they are not doing it fast enough for us).
• if our desire to climb to the top of whatever mountain we are climbing is so strong (probably to beat someone else climbing the same mountain), that we are willing to portray ourselves as something we are not just so that we can accomplish the journey as fast as we can.

I do notice one thing with these fears.  The more inauthentic someone is with themselves and others, the more they resist even discussing stuff like this.  They will even get quite angry!

I wonder why.

All of these fears seem to be creating a lot of baggage in our lives and puts us on an ever-increasingly slippery slope that leaves us exhausted financially, spiritually, physically and emotionally.  Analyze the events that have led up to any significant negative event in world history and somewhere along the way, you will find one or more events that perhaps have been tied to lack of authenticity.

I’m not suggesting that life is so simple that we can easily strip a lot of these layers away and expect to be as authentic as children.  If it were only that simple.

However, I am suggesting that the number of layers of obfuscation and complexity that we have added are not commensurate with the beauty and simplicity of life.

I wonder if we have made life too complicated and then, being inauthentic with ourselves and others, refuse to take any credit for this complexity.

How about a return to some base levels of authenticity?

Hi – my name is Harry.  I don’t want you to know me as a Wall Streeter, a business strategy guy, a networker, a writer, a speaker (or however else you know me).

I am a human being who believes in God, who is awash in gratitude for his family, friends and life experiences, who marvels at the things we do right in the world, weeps at the things we do poorly, marvels at the complexity and simplicity of nature, is amazed by the power of love, aspires to be more patient and wonders when we will finally realize our true gifts and purpose.

That’s all that is important.  That is the real me – the rest are man-made constructs that are not important.

That being said, perhaps that is not important either.  What is important is that I am a human being with unlimited capacity for loving and sharing.

So are you.

My name is Harry. 

What’s your name? 

Let’s play.

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

Life: Poetry in Motion

I stopped by a local coffee shop recently to take a short break from the work I was doing for a client.  As I sat in the coffee shop amongst the hum of energy from its patrons, a thought came to mind and I put on my oldest son's IPOD so that I wasn't aware of the conversations and sounds around me.

Prior to doing this, I was aware of the different types of conversations as I had overheard snatches of them before putting on my earphones.

Having isolated myself from my environment, I sat and observed what was going on around me.

As I did so, I became aware of and immersed in the tapestry around me, the poetry in motion that we call life, the beauty and orchestration that we often mistakenly view as chaos or random events.

By stripping out awareness of the dialog and focusing on hand gestures, laughter, frowns, smiles and other body language, I felt like I was witnessing an infinite number of plays being written at once - and what an outstanding collection it was.

Comedies, tragedies, romances and stories of overcoming challenge.  New lives beginning and long life stories being passed on.  Some business 101 classes were sprinkled in there.  At some tables, volumes of information were being shared in silence.   Hope and despair, anger and laughter - they all danced around and touched down in different interactions.

Meanwhile outside, people were going through the drive-thru, creating their own stories which were a mystery to this observer on the inside of the coffee shop.

Their story was influenced by the person at the drive-thru window, who had been influenced by the stories within the coffee shop.

What a complex play was being written, a play we are not aware of unless we slow down and observe its creation.

To expand on the experiment, I altered the music I was listening to.  When I was listening to soft music, I became more aware of the gentle side of the interactions.

If I put on fast paced or loud music, I became more aware of heightened emotions and a sense of urgency or need for speed.

It's an interesting experiment that I highly recommend.  Plant yourself where you can observe but suspend your ability to hear what is being said.  Having done that, allow your other senses to insert yourself into the world around you.

As I noted what was going on around me, it reminded me of the phenomenal potential we have - the power to create, to share, to debate, to discuss, to disagree, to despise and to love - the potential to decide between a life of despair and a life of fulfillment.

What we have been blessed with in the way of gifts and potential is something that we may not be as grateful for as we could be.

Some of us may not be aware of the gifts we have.

Perhaps some of us don't believe that we are gifted at all.

The truth is that each of us possesses a fascinating, unique, powerful collection of gifts.  How we choose to weave these gifts into the fabric of our life determines the legacy that we leave to others, the notion of "what will I be remembered for when I am gone".

Each of us brings this distinct collection to bear and plays a leading role in the story of our life and the lives of others.  At other times, we are a supporting actor or a bit player in someone else's play.  All roles are important!

Many of us are waiting for the perfect moment to bring these wonderful gifts to bear.  Many people are waiting for a means of optimizing their gift potential, to bring the "biggest bang" to the table.

While waiting for the perfect moment, many people are denying themselves the sense of pleasure and fulfillment of making a difference now (even if smaller than they prefer).  Some people, while waiting for the perfect moment, will wait until their end of days has come.  In either case, to wait is to deny others of the opportunity to witness your gifts and to be impacted by them.

In the meantime, there are many people waiting for you.  They want to share with you, to have an opportunity to collaborate with  you, to learn from you, to make a difference in the lives of others and to help bring greater awareness of life purpose - yours, theirs and the lives of others.

I ask everyone I meet one simple question which I will ask of you today:

If I had unlimited time, energy and money, living in a world of no constraints, worries or fears, what would I be doing right now?

Don't answer it flippantly.  Think about it.  Observe the world around you and let that question percolate your mind, spirit and soul. 

Some of you are living your purpose.  For those who are not, allow an answer to come to the fore as you think through this question.

Once an answer floats to the surface, ask yourself - "who can help me incubate this and make it a reality?". 

If something seizes your heart, embrace it as the purpose for which you are created and for which you have spent a lifetime developing gifts for.

Having done so, turn the page of life and begin writing the next act in the play that is your life.

Complete your story of inspiration, of overcoming challenge, of sharing, of giving unselfishly, of inspiring, of learning, of motivating and of loving.

The play has been incredible so far but you will discover it has no end.  To those whom you leave a legacy to, they will open up the script and continue the story when you have moved on to what follows our life on earth.

I can hardly wait to see what the next act brings in your life.

The curtain is rising ...... and I hear applause as you step out onto the stage of life.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

The Giving Spirit Revisited / Wishes for 2009

I am seated at my desk this morning, awash in gratitude as I think about this Christmas season and what may be one of the most spiritually, mentally and emotionally profound Christmases that I have ever experienced.

Our Christmas this year, as always, has been focused on giving back, especially to people who themselves have little if anything to give to others.  In a time when the media is reporting financial gloom and doom, cutbacks in giving and other symptoms of the economic crisis as they like to call it, we have witnessed more giving this year than ever.

The program that we participated in for battered mothers and their children went way above expectations this year as friends collaborated with us to make a phenomenal difference.  The number we helped this year, either directly or through inspiring others to help on their own, is up 700% from last year.

We were blessed to have an opportunity to help feed the homeless, the lonely and the stranded over the holidays, cooking food on Christmas Eve and helping with the distribution on Christmas Day.

On Saturday, the local blood donor clinic was open and I was able to make a contribution that will save up to three lives.

All great stuff.

However, what took place in my heart was even more profound.

This Christmas, a number of events took place within close proximity that impacted me mentally and spiritually.

This season, I witnessed profound stories of personal giving - giving that was taking place under the radar to help take care of others during the season.  I witnessed last-minute miracles for good people as they struggled to make ends meet or worked diligently to help overcome sudden incidents of misfortune. 

So many people sent me emails expressing personal testimonials of receiving help at the last minute, just when they needed it.  We started referring to them in my house as "Jimmy Stewart endings" in reference to heart-moving, wipe-your-eyes, Hollywood style endings appropriate for the season. 

Get-togethers with family and friends were more powerful than ever this year as I took the time to really savor the feelings of goodwill that filled the air.

As if that wasn't enough, I was overcome with profound gratitude as friends and strangers from all around the world, including Europe, New York and other parts of the US, Canada and Australia reached out to us with open hearts when they read my blog about some of our current adventures (and misadventures) - found here if you would like to read it.

During the midnight Christmas Eve service, I found myself powerfully moved as the congregation sang Christmas carols, as the true meaning of the season seized my heart and overwhelmed me.

As I experienced all these feelings of gratitude, I didn't need to ask what it was all about - I knew all along.

For many years, my family and I have experienced what many know as the abundance of the season - unlimited food, unlimited gifts, etc.  However, for all of those years, I felt something was missing in all of this and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

This year brought the perfect storm of events, generous, loving people, opportunities to share and opportunities to receive to help me discover what I was missing.

Despite my insistence in years gone by that I knew what the Christmas spirit was about, I think I was merely going through the motions, simply checking off the holiday obligations.  Make annual donations to various organizations - check.  Buy gifts for everyone - check.  Organize opportunities for giving to others - check.  Be happy during the season - check.  Check, check, check.

Looking back, I realized that it had gotten too mechanical.

This year, I savored every single action.  I savored every single project that I was involved in and I was grateful for the opportunity to do so.

I was also grateful for the opportunity to do it with others who really cared.

And so as I sat in church service on Sunday and listened to the Christmas carols being sung, I looked up and said a prayer of thanks to God - a prayer thanking Him for my friends, for complete strangers (met and unmet), for the opportunity to share with others, for the opportunity to be humble enough to receive from others and for the strength and courage to continue to follow our intention to make a difference in this world.

Contrary to what the media would like us to believe, the unselfish, giving spirit of people is alive and well.  We see what we choose to focus on.

A number of people came to mind as I sat there in gratitude.  While many came to mind, I will mention some of them here.  Things they have said or done in the last month or so have had a profound impact on me and my family and the sense of deep gratitude we are experiencing during this season.  There is always a danger of leaving people out but if I listed everyone that I was grateful for, the list would be very long (my LinkedIn network alone is up to 16.5 million people at the time I wrote this).  :-)

The people who come to mind include my family (of course), Andrew B., Roberto L., Jonathan S., John C., Jim L., Estean L., Hilary R., Tim S., Bruce MacN.,  Joseph S., Casey W., Gabriel M., Keith B., Don H., Gary J., Daryn K., Ken B., Mac P., Frances H., Marilyn B., Debra P., Peggy C., Lauren M., Iris P., Peter T., Gerald C., Barry G., Peter D., Doreen C., Peggy M., John G., Bret D., Evan G., Tim M., Lew M., Emily H., Jeremy R., Paul S., Deborah W., John Paul W., Gerry O., Ros O., Gina P., John L. (and the gang),  Marvin C., Alex T., Kevin F., Dave M., Ed N., Heather and Mark U., Bill G., Ray J., Larry F., Jackie H., Sharon C., Tony R., Steve B., Linda G., Cathy F., Paul L.,  Jenifer F., Nick S. and John M.

I am grateful for everyone in my life and grateful for their spirit of giving and sharing, their commitment to others and their passion to make a difference in the lives of people around them - even when it means sacrifice for themselves or a sense of swimming against the tide.

As 2009 draws near, we have a choice to make.  We can succumb to the sense of despair as the media would like us to embrace or we can choose to see phenomenal opportunity in everything and everyone around us.

There are incredible opportunities around us for growth, for sharing, for learning and for receiving with humility and gratitude  - phenomenal opportunities for each one of us to leave a legacy of hope and love to the generations that are coming behind us.

2009 will bring interesting challenge and opportunity for me and my family.  We are contemplating a number of programs in alignment with our purpose and passion, including children's education in North America and service to the needy overseas.

Whatever you decide to do in 2009, do it with passion, purpose and a sense of making a difference.  If you want it bad enough, you will be successful, regardless of the challenges you face.

Remember that you are not alone - you are surrounded by people who want to help you be successful.  Be open to their help just as you expect others to be open to yours.

Above all, keep your faith alive.  Whatever you believe God is, remember that in your darkest moments, faith in God will lead you to victory in your efforts to make a difference.

I wish each one of you, a phenomenal 2009 filled with personal victory, a fulfillment of purpose and a legacy that others will learn from and multiply, for the benefit of all.

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

What's Holding You Back?

When I was in elementary school, I was often taught a variation of this expression:

"If you want to be something in life, work hard and study hard".

I heard it from teachers, parents and others who felt that it was positive motivation.

Some of you heard variations such as:

"If you want to be like uncle Joe, your father, your mother, the President of the United States, etc, etc."

The brain, being the wonderful miracle that it is, sees one interesting element - the word "if".  The brain subconsciously jumps to an interesting conclusion - that being "something" is a future event and not a present reality and therefore, perhaps I am nothing at the moment (since I should be aspiring to be something in the future and not enjoying what I am right now).

Meanwhile, many children are cautioned to be careful of catastrophic results when experiencing life.  For example:

"Be careful playing in the street so that you are not run over and killed by a car".

"Don't talk to a stranger because they will kidnap you and you will never be returned to mommy or daddy".

"Don't play on the pier or you will fall over and drown".

"Don't go jumping on your bike - I don't need to be taking you to the hospital with a broken neck".

"Don't spend your money all at once because there's no more where that came from - do you think money grows on trees?"

Or the great favorite from this time of year:

"Don't eat apples that you get during Halloween.  Everyone knows that they have razor blades and straight pins in them that will kill you.  Somebody two blocks over died that way last year."

I'm not saying that sound advice, especially things like caution when speaking to strangers, is a bad thing.  However, what many of these "rules" suggest is that if you try anything at all, the worst of all outcomes will befall you and that the world is a smorgasbord of life crippling / life ending traps.

So think about what this programming produces in your life.  Imagine a belief system similar to the following.

First of all, I am nothing.  I won't bother trying to be something because I won't achieve it.  The sooner I accept this, the less angst I will have in my life.

Secondly, if I dare believe that I am something, whatever I try will result in cataclysmic failure anyway so I will avoid the failure by not trying in the first place.  There's nothing more embarrassing in life than being a failure at something or disappointing others through my failure.

If I see someone else trying to make something out of their life, I will do what I can to save them from failure and embarrassment by convincing them to cease immediately, thereby saving them from inevitable disappointment. 

If I cannot stop them from striking out on their own, I will do what I can to discredit them in front of others, pointing out that clearly I am smarter because I wouldn't embark upon inevitable failure as they have.  When their failure comes, I will cherish it ("I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen").

Where does this leave you?

I am nothing and failure will always result when I go out of my comfort zone or strive for something important to me.

OR

I am safest when I live my life as others wish me to live it, even if it produces immense frustration and disappointment for me.  However, when people ask me if I am content, I will always say yes.

Sounds dreadful, doesn't it?  Most of us will deny that we experience this or live like this.

However, how similar does your childhood programming from many years ago seem to what you feel today?

"I won't start that new business - 4 out of 5 businesses fail anyway."

"It's a stupid idea - nobody will be interested."

"Am I really smart enough to do this - probably not."

"Will others be disappointed or disapproving of me if I try this?"

"I don't have enough money to accomplish this, so why bother trying since I will run out of money before I get successful and will end up bankrupt anyway?"

"I cannot succeed because I experienced _______ (insert life crippling event here) and everyone knows that if you experience ______, you cannot be successful."

"Somebody else is probably already doing it and doing it better, so why bother?"

"I don't want to be embarrassed when I fail (not if I fail but when I fail)."

No wonder we live in a world where people are afraid to engage their purpose and passion.  Most of us have been programmed to avoid it and while avoiding it, we watch with envy as other people escape this trap and seek to manifest their destiny.  As they do it, it reinforces our behavior that we are incapable of accomplishing the same results since they must be smarter, richer, more good looking, have more time on their hands, not be tied down by life commitments, not be tied down by debts, have a more supportive life partner, etc.

What a sad place that puts most of us - yearning to be what we want to be and what we are capable of and yet feeling unfulfilled because we can't seem to get to that which we believe to be our reason for being.

Most of us are living a lie.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been speaking to a number of people about a theme that is a particular favorite of mine:

"If you had unlimited time, energy and money, what would you be doing right now?"

Most people pick a career or vocation other than that which they are doing at that moment.  When I challenge them as to why they are not living this life now, they provide a rich diversity of reasons .... or should I say excuses.

There are some legitimate reasons but they aren't as plentiful as people want to believe.  The truth is that many reasons boil down to fear or the inability of people to believe that they are capable of manifesting their purpose (as noted in the original programing of the brain I described earlier), a variation of fear.

Last year, I blogged about living a life of passion (http://harrytucker.blogspot.com/2008/02/thoughts-on-living-life-of-passion.html).  In that article, I discussed the notion of overcoming the crippling beliefs that hold you back, to seek out that which you believe you are called to be on this beautiful planet and to instill a sense of urgency you need to embark upon a no-compromise plan towards fulfilling that destiny. 

You know what you don't like and what you feel that you can't do in life and can explain it with great passion.  How about finding what you want and need to do in your life, fuel it with the same passion level and observe the results that you achieve?

In other words, apply a cranial defibrillator (a defibrillator to your head) and get engaged in your life.  It's your life - not someone else's.  Love and embrace the miracle that you are and do something that leaves a legacy.

As you progress towards greater realities, take the time to share this concept with others and do what you can to empower them as well. 

Someone is waiting for your help right now.   Embrace your destiny.  You are too great a miracle to do anything other than fulfill your purpose.

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

 

PS   I read something the other day by Christian D. Larson, in a piece known as "Promise Yourself" or alternately, "The Optimist's Creed".

I'd like to share it with you.

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Living a Life of Enthusiasm

I have always been known as someone who lives a life of enthusiasm and have never been accused of not having enough passion for personal and professional projects.  People who live life enthusiastically engage others with their passion and vision and provide an excitement that is infectious, encouraging people to believe that they matter and can make a difference.

I came across this quote the other day and it resonated with me on a deep level.  The quote exemplifies my personal belief that we should fill every day with passion, purpose and enthusiasm.

"Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles."

Og Mandino - 1923-1996, Speaker and Author of The Greatest Salesman in the World

Many people I interact with every day are not living a life of enthusiasm.  They have flatlined in either their personal or professional life and are in fact, living a life of indifference.

This indifference manifests in a number of ways, including but not limited to:

• Lack of desire for professional success, not doing what it takes to manifest such success.
• Not investing in personal relationships, including with children and life partners and not doing what it takes to make the most of every moment with them.
• Not taking a chance on following their heart to seek the purpose of their life and going for it. 
• Being consumed by fear of what someone else will think of something they say, do, or believe.
• Preferring to control and direct something (and limiting their result) rather than collaborating and promoting the same project and manifesting the greatest result possible.
• Refusing to be open minded to thoughts and ideas of others because their ego doesn't permit them to entertain the thoughts of other people.
• Cutting corners when trying to understand people instead of investing into why they do what they do, thereby potentially destroying relationships instead of building them.
• Deliberating constantly but never acting on the same thought.

I am fascinated, intrigued and saddened by the number of people who want something to manifest in their life, yet they live a life of indifference or lack of enthusiasm about the phenomenal opportunities all around them.

We can name people and organizations that exhibit one or more of these concepts every day.  Would someone else include us on this list?

People who exhibit these attributes are proving Einstein's definition of insanity perfectly - to do the same thing over and over and yet expect a different result.

Are you living a life of passion and enthusiasm or are you living a life of indifference? 

Do you believe in a life of unlimited possibilities or do you think it would be nice to have such a life but it is impossible to manifest?

Are you focused on collaborating for success or would you rather keep it to your self, with a good chance that you will manifest much less or nothing at all? 

Do you associate with other people who think of endless possibilities or do you prefer to be the king of the heap of a bunch of people who also believe they are incapable of manifesting purpose and passion.

Are you able to submerge ego so that life lessons have room to enter your mind and help you grow?

When people are with you, do they tell you that you fill them with excitement and enthusiasm for life?

Think about living a life filled with gratitude for being alive, for being able to make a difference to others and for collaborating for success (however you measure it).

Isn't it more fun to be passionate about everything than being indifferent?  Passion and enthusiasm is infectious and all things being equal, will push you to heights that others can only dream of.  It will attract others of equal passion, providing tremendous opportunities for collaboration.

How much passion do you have for this incredible process called Life?  Take it to a new level and witness the incredible difference it makes to your life and the lives of those around you.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

Doing Things Right the First Time

This weekend, I started a new phase in my life as I began formally studying theology at Queen's College. It is an exciting time for me as my life continues to morph, as Bob Buford describes, from success to significance, migrating from being just a Wall Streeter to something else as yet defined.

Two of my new friends that I met in class this week are a senior pastor and his wife from a local evangelical church. They honored my family with an invitation to attend their worship services this week, which we gratefully accepted.

Pastor Milley gave a powerful sermon on encouragement and in the course of doing so, quoted a poem by Louise Fletcher Tarkington entitled "The Land of Beginning Again". His message and the specific quote were so powerful that I had to go find the poem and read it in its entirety.

The poem is a powerful piece that speaks to the importance of doing the best that we can at all times and not relying on opportunity to "make things right" after we nonchalantly choose poorly in our initial interactions with others. This poem also reminds us to be grateful for all that we have and that when we look back upon times of struggle, we will see much to be grateful for, even if we didn't see it then.

I am including the poem in this blog post. As you read it, I ask you to reflect on your own life and ask yourself - "Am I doing the best possible job right now with the gifts I have been given?" If you are like me, no matter how hard you try, there is room for improvement. When one thinks of the classic elements of stewardship: time, talent and treasure, ask yourself if you are using these gifts for maximum impact or are you grumbling that others are not making a difference fast enough for your liking. Why wait for others when you could be making a difference right now?

If we want to expedite making a difference in this great world, perhaps we need to do it ourselves and inspire others to act, rather than just wait for someone to step up (all the while disappointing us with their delayed action when we have no right to be disappointed).

Think about how you might begin this process of improvement right now as you contemplate this beautiful piece.

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

---

The Land of Beginning Again

I wish that there were some wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all of our selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat by the door
And never be put on again.

I wish we could come on it all unaware
Like the hunter who finds a lost trail
And I wish that the one whom our blindness has done
The greatest injustice of all
Could be at the gates like an old friend that waits
For the comrade he's gladdest to hail.

We would find all the things we intended to do
But forgot, and remembered too late;
Little praises unspoken, little promises broken
And all of the thousand and one
Little duties neglected that might have perfected
The day for one less fortunate.

It wouldn't be possible not to be kind
In the Land of Beginning Again
And the ones we misjudged and the ones whom we grudged
Their moments of victory then
Would find in the grasp of our loving handclasp
More than penitent lips could explain.

For what had been hardest we'd know had been best
And what had seemed loss would be gain
For there isn't a sting that will not take a wing
When we've faced it and laughed it away,
And I think that the laughter is most what we're after
In the Land of Beginning Again.

So I wish that there were some wondered place
Called the Land of Beginning Again
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all of our selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door

And never be put on again.

Louise Fletcher Tarkington

How Will You Remember Me .....

.... and how will I remember you?

When our end of days has come, will we remember each other:

• for having given our best for our families, providing for their current and future needs as best as we can?
• for taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, knowing that many people rely on us (including many we will never meet)?
• for having gone above and beyond for our employers (or our own companies if we are at the top)?
• for doing our best to empower our employees and professional peers, enabling them to plug their passion, purpose, skills, strengths and talents into their work, to produce the best result possible?
• for accepting that we all make mistakes?

Will we applaud each other:

• for being role models for our greatest investment of all - our children?
• for investing in our community, our state or province and our country, taking responsibility for the good and the bad and working together to fix that which needs fixing while enhancing that which is already great?
• for seeing the positive in everyone?
• for making a difference in this world, for those who are starving, thirsty, sick, impoverished, destitute, homeless or challenged in other ways?
• for taking care of those we don't know and may never meet?
• for random acts of kindness, the kind that inspire others to make a difference?
• for keeping the Earth in mind as we do what we can to take care of the miraculous life raft that carries us through this incredible universe?

Will we think fondly of each other:

• for doing our best to keep our outlook on life (and the outlook of others) on the positive side, especially when times get tough?
• for reaching out to someone, not only when they need it but often times in anticipation that they would appreciate some unrequested support?
• for doing our best to love everyone, even those that anger us, drive us crazy or disappoint us (recognizing that we do the same to others)?
• for filling our days with positive action to make a difference and not just wishful thinking that we will get to it someday?
• for dropping a coin in the cup of a beggar, someone who may be a descendant of yours or mine?
• for going for the brass ring, seizing a life of excitement, challenge, risk and fulfillment and not just a life of indifference and unrealized dreams?

Will we be proud of each other:

• for being who we want to be and not what others want us to be?
• for being brave and courageous in our quest to find and fulfill our purpose and passion on Earth?
• for taking a stand for what we believe to be right?
• for standing firm in our faith and our beliefs, no matter what the odds?
• for being known as someone that could always be counted on?
• for being the person who always brought sunshine into someone's day instead of darkness?
• for living a life of humility and service to others?

Will we support each other:

• for being the cheerleader who always encouraged others to be and do the best that they can?
• for laughing loudly(and often)?
• for crying when we need to and not being embarrassed by it?
• for promoting a sense of urgency around appreciating everything that Life offers?
• For cutting people a little slack when we see they are doing their best?
• For providing guidance when people could use a little direction?
• for loving ourselves and recognizing that we are a product of our genetics, our life experiences, our faith, our calling and God's Purpose for us - we are living miracles who are to love and be loved unconditionally?
• for not being afraid to say "I love you" to anyone and mean it?

Will we be grateful for ourselves, for others and for the incredible experiences of Life (instead of judging Life as a collection of good and bad)?

The game of Life is the one game where no one gets out alive.

At some point, one of us will stand before a memorial to the other.

How are you being remembered?

Harry

"Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love." - 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NKJV)

Finding Joy

Keith B., a dear friend of mine who has recently discovered the joy of fatherhood for the first time, shared a powerful video with me today.

Watching it reminded me of how elusive happiness is for so many of us.  Many of us in the western world live a life of incredible opportunity and abundance and yet we continue our quest to find the sense of joy that eludes us for reasons that we can't seem to explain.

Take a moment to turn up the speakers, open your mind and watch this video.  This video would even make a great day-starting meditation.  Take a peek and then ask yourself - what can I do today to make the world a better place.

The video is here.

To your success in your quest to experience and share joy to its maximum.

Harry

Being Ourselves (or Lessons from a Radical Raisin)

This year, I am the assistant coach for an under-five soccer team.  They are delightful to watch, whether it's the look on their face as they grasp a new soccer concept, the laughter as they play tag when the play has moved up the field, the look of wonder as they scrutinize a bug on the field (oblivious to the game going on around them), the intense look of concentration  as they race to catch up to a teammate or opponent or the devious laughter as they break rank during a drill, openly delighted that they are giving the coaching staff everything they can handle.

When they are tired, they say they are tired.  When they don't like something said or done to them by a teammate or an opponent, they express their discontent (verbally or otherwise).  When they need Mommy or Daddy, they walk off the field, even when they are the last defense between an opponent racing towards them and the goal they are defending.

They are, in essence, the human spirit in perfection - self assured (most times), focused on what is important (in their mind), able to do what they need to do and doing it when they want to do it.  Their needs are simple and yet profound in their simplicity.  We as adults naively believe that we have much to teach them but I wonder if the roles of teacher and student are actually reversed.

There is much we adults can learn from their openness and honesty.  We as adults spend a good bit of our time consumed by what someone else will think about what we did or didn't do, said or didn't say, what someone else requires at the sacrifice of our own needs, etc.  In doing so, we create a lot of excess pressure in our own lives and in turn, strain relationships by avoiding conversations with others; conversations that could strengthen relationships by building them upon honesty, trust and openness rather than building them upon compromise, avoidance and excessive sacrifice with no win-win in sight. 

We miss many opportunities to enjoy the moment because we are too focused on worrying about what everyone else needs instead of answering the call for our own needs and interests.  By constantly avoiding that which we feel is our purpose or passion (for the sake of not offending or disappointing someone else) we miss many opportunities to bring phenomenal success, happiness and fulfillment in our lives.

So here we are at the beginning of another soccer season, parents and kids alike excited about having fun, making friends and acquiring new skills.  As an assistant coach, I also look forward to having fun, making new friends and watching the kids learn.  More importantly, I look forward to the lessons I will learn from these kids.  What they teach us is in many ways, far more profound than what we believe we are teaching them.  Let's be mindful of the big lessons from the small things in life.

Let's go Raisins!

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

Taking time for you

Take Some Time

Take some time to really think about
what you want to do with your life
and be honest with yourself.

Ask yourself if you are happy
the way you are living now or
if you need to make a change.

Happiness comes to those whoare willing to believe in it
and who create it within
their own lives.

You deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be treated with respect.
Your life should be filled with good times,
not troubled ones.

Take some time and think about yourself.

-- Author unknown

My question for you is: What are YOU doing RIGHT NOW to make sure that you are creating a life of Happiness?

Take care and be well.

Harry

Just for today - by Dale Carnegie

Good day, folks.

I was poking around some old notes and came across a goody from Dale Carnegie that, while written 50 years ago, is as important today as ever. As I have the blessing to speak to many people every day, it seems to me, in my humble opinion, that many people’s lives are filled with great intentions to do the right thing for themselves and others but for some reason, something “pops up” every day that required attention first. For many of those people, they live in a world of frustration, waiting to do that which they know they want to do but feel that they can’t for one reason or another (many of the reasons aren’t real). I think of some quotes from Michel de Montaigne:

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened”

“Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know”

“He who fear will suffer, he already suffers from his fear”.

Anyway, on to the nugget from Dale Carnegie. Be well and create a great day, everyone! [Author note: An anonymous reader pointed out on December 29, 2014 that in fact the author of this nugget is Sybil F. Partridge.  I am grateful to the reader for pointing this out.]

Just for Today:

1. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.

2. Just for today, I will try to adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

3. Just for today I will take care of my body, I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

4. Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5. Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

6. Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.

7. Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

8. Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests; hurry and indecision.

9. Just for today, I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. In this half-hour sometimes I will think of God so as to get a little more perspective into my life.

10. Just for today, I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love, love me.