Lip Service or Actual Service?

Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than the one where they sprang up. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The secret is to gang up on the problem, rather than each other. - Thomas Stallkamp

I must create a system or be enslaved by another man’s; I will not reason and compare: my business is to create. - William Blake

While my blog writing has taken a backseat to a number of personal and professional projects over the last couple of years, I’m always intrigued by the stats of my readership and the reaction to my blog posts.

While I have mused on many things over the years including but not limited to inspirational stuff, business thoughts, strategic planning, tactical execution, warnings to society and such, by far the single largest group of readers and the largest amount of emotion that I generate come from posts where I call politicians out for doing something inappropriate against the best interests of the people they claim to serve or for allowing themselves to be placed in a position of compromise to the detriment of themselves, their staff or the people they claim to serve.

While many people have egos that would be inflated by the reaction I get from such posts, I am largely unaffected by the praise (or criticism) I receive because I write the posts for strategic, ethical and moral reasons and not for ego-based ones.

The other complexity from such posts is that many readers who are inspired by such posts think I write them because I enjoy skewering people (thus fitting into something they like to do).  If they knew me personally, they would know that such beliefs are a gross misunderstanding of who I am.

The reality is that I don’t skewer people purposefully and I don’t enjoy the fact that it may appear to be my intention.  In fact, the reason I write such posts is not to skewer the individual but to invite a correction or enhancement of behavior with an idea towards creating a better result.  It is not my place to judge an individual although it may appear that I am doing just that when I critique their behavior – I leave it to Someone greater than I to judge the individual.

And so the majority of people who like such posts fall, sadly, into one or more of the following groups.

Group One – The Call to Action Ends With Lip Service

Many people love to complain and to have their complaint heard, whether in the coffee shop, in public demonstrations or on social media.  Ask people to take additional measurable action to correct what upsets them and suddenly there is silence in the room.

Try telling these people that their frustration will grow unabated if they don’ take measurable action (instead of mistaking complaining alone for action), and they don’t hear you – they’ve already moved on to the next complaint or person who supports their complaint-centric model of execution.  Many of these people also seek to be offended so that their need to complain finds a justification to attach itself to.  As the old adage goes – some people aren’t happy unless they’re miserable.

Group Two – I Have Too Much to Risk – I Need You To Take a Stand

A lot of people send complaints, salacious comments, “dirt” or insider information to me and other people who are not afraid to use their voice and ask, implore or demand that I / we reveal it.  When I inform them that stuff of importance to them should be revealed by them, I am told that “I’ve got too much to risk – you have to do it” (this includes people who serve on boards who discover inappropriate or illegal behavior and demand that people like me reveal it because they are “too important” to be involved in the imminent explosion).

I / we have things to risk also and what is a priority to someone else may not be a priority to me / us (and there is always the risk that someone else’s “irrefutable data” may be so vaporous as to put people like myself and others at risk).

By the way, this group also includes the people who believe that they can solve problems by bashing people while hiding behind anonymous social media accounts, email accounts, etc.  Standing up for what you believe in has more credibility when you are willing to be identified.

Group Three – I’m Too Busy

If you’re literally too busy, then it means that the thing you are complaining about is less important than other things that occupy your day. 

If that is the case, honor such priorities and stop complaining since we should put our time, energy and money into our priorities and avoid the things that distract us from those priorities.

Group Four – I’m Not _________ Enough (insert connected, strong, etc.)

History is filled with people that on first blush would have been considered not influential enough, smart enough, connected enough, etc.  Ask the Google god for examples – they are too numerous to list here.

Group Five – I’m Too Lazy, I’m Not Focused, My Own Purpose in Life is not Defined

Rarely admitted by people who suffer from such random execution, their Life is like a guided missile roaming around looking for a target.  Complaining is easy and requires little effort – strategic, intelligent and purposeful execution is neither.  Enough said.

I’m sure there are other groups that people fight to be members of through their preference for complaining over action and results.

While specifics about what defines the reasons for inaction vary, we rarely solve problems by merely fretting or complaining about them or by mistaking any activity (including complaining) for productivity.

The Bottom Line

Unless you’re in a country where participating in a public demonstration can get you shot or imprisoned, it takes little courage to participate in such actions.  Although the actions may initially be useful, they require follow-up action in many situations to become truly effective.

Unless you choose to do something highly illegal, immoral or unethical (translation: something highly ignorant) by threatening people using social media, complaining on social media rarely accomplishes much.  Social media has its place as a tool for sharing information or executing a call to action but action is still necessary after the “recruits” show up.  In such situations, action is more than a hashtag.

Complaining in coffee shops will do little more than cause you to eat too many donuts or drink too much coffee.

Action matters.

Results matter.

Find a way to collaborate and if collaboration is rejected, ignored or soundly attacked, then find other strategic, intelligent and purposeful ways to accomplish your objective and create solutions in the world.

If you’re not interested in bringing your time, energy, talents, strengths, skills, knowledge (and yes, sometimes money) to the table to create solutions, please stop complaining.  There’s enough useless, purposeless, negative noise in the world – don’t add to it.

If you’re complaining because in reality, you can’t honestly answer the questions “Who am I?”, “What do I stand for?”, “Why do I exist?”, “Where am I going?” and “How can I make the world a better place with the gifts that I have?” and your energy is therefore being misdirected into complaining or other negative behavior out of frustration over a misdirected Life, please find someone who can help you answer those questions in a healthy way.  You and the world will be better off as a result.

The Bottom Bottom Line

If I’m going to finish my day exhausted, having put every ounce of energy I have into creating what is within my reach to create, is it better to do so having moved the world the tiniest measure closer to something better or to have exhausted myself and those around me with meaningless complaints?

How do you like to view your results for the day?

How would you like others to view your results?

Does it matter or are you preparing to complain that you don’t like what I just said?

Create a great day because merely having one is too passive an experience.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS: I am entertaining an experiment with an offer to a specific group of people.  I will add additional info here when the experiment is complete.

If My Question Offends You – A Remix

An offended heart is the breeding ground of deception. - John Bevere

Being offended is part of being in the real world. - Courtney Love

When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. – Epictetus

Yesterday, I observed a long time colleague terminate a 25+ year friendship with me because I dared to ask why he focuses on spreading doom and gloom, often referencing fanatical, fear-laden rhetoric written by people who are pushing their fear and paranoia onto other people.

Merely asking the question of why he does it caused him to terminate the relationship and as I reflected upon this with another long-time colleague this morning, A. made an interesting observation.

A. said, “Well, you know that you are very intimidating when you ask questions and these questions can be easily misinterpreted”.  He meant well by the observation and stressed that he wasn’t trying to insult me (and I wasn’t insulted by the observation – his heart and mind are always solution-oriented and I have deep respect for him for that).

I found the observation fascinating because the question that I asked that launched the relationship termination was “Why?”.  I didn’t even get a chance to follow-up with the often misunderstood, more detail-specific “How do you know?”.

When we are immediately offended by someone asking “Why?”, we forget that we are being invited to explain something, to strengthen support for an idea, to more fully flesh the idea out or perhaps to win a “convert” over to a new cause (or perhaps correct an incorrect behavior that is adversely impacting ourselves or others).

Conversely, when we get our backs up over someone asking “Why?”, we assume that our answer (or ourselves personally) will automatically be judged (or have been judged already).  It’s as silly as assuming that because someone asked you for the time of day that they are accusing you of being late for something.

So the same question of “Why?” is both a blessing and a curse, depending on how our ego chooses to respond to it.

Examples from the “how dare you?” camp …

A short while ago, colleagues of mine had an opportunity to invest millions in a small company that had run out of cash and the company chose to give priority to a $25,000 sale in lieu of accepting the investment.  When I asked “why?” they had made that choice, what was sent back was a barrage of “You don’t understand” excuses and insults.  They took burning bridges to a new level.

Last week, an investment opportunity for colleagues of mine that had been a year in the making went off the rails when the person, after taking more than a year to get to a decision on investment, went off the deep end when merely asked why it was taking so long for him to make any decision.  The investment decision had already been approved but the person in question went about convincing myself and others that the investment should not happen.

Examples from the “thank you” camp ….

Colleagues of mine in the middle of creating a game-changer in the area of predicting human behavior listened to my questions of “Why?” and “How do you know?” in November and the light came on.  They knew exactly why I was asking and enthusiastically set about answering the question, knowing that their offering would become stronger as a result (Well done, Greg and gang – you are changing the world).

A new colleague of mine, in exploring approaches to strategy, told me last night that answering these questions will make his organization stronger and will enable he and his team to serve others better. (Well done, Don – your work will impact generations).

The difference between the two camps is self-confidence in themselves and what they are building, the belief that what they are building will serve themselves and others well, the knowledge that anything that strengthens their offerings creates a win for everyone and the belief that what they are doing is so important that it is worth defending and strengthening.  These men, in their brilliance, know that ego is important for self confidence but can be a destroyer of worlds if not managed well.

The others are either not confident in what they are building, not confident in themselves, are unwilling to fight for what they believe in, know they have made an error, surround themselves with naysayers, compensate for insecurity with a projected overconfidence or have become so accustomed to being judged that they believe every question that is sent their way is in fact a judgement.

Such a heightened level of hypersensitivity robs people of the opportunity to learn, to strengthen their offerings, to improve their results and to connect with other people who want and need to collaborate in creating a better world.

And with that, and for those who don’t understand the importance of answering questions that are asked with an intent to understand and strengthen, I offer a remix of a post I originally shared in April of 2011.

If My Question Offends You

As a long-time strategy and global technology adoption architect, my opinion is often solicited, whether it be by a start-up, a not-for-profit, a Fortune 25 company or anything in-between.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) for the people who solicit my help, I am known as the “asker of audacious questions” (thanks to Barry G. for the title which I wear proudly).

People come to me expecting to ask a lot of questions of me, get a lot of answers from me and move on.

However, many are surprised that I may have more questions for them than they have for me and if they are unprepared or have weak egos, they will be offended by those questions.

Most often, I have two key questions but those questions are often more complex to answer than the questions others have for me.

The questions are “Why?” and “How do you know?”.

There is a little secret about why I ask these questions.

It’s not an attempt to assert one person’s intelligence over another.  We are all gifted in intelligence in different forms.

It’s not an attempt to embarrass them, create a contest of wills or play ego-Olympics.  What a waste of time and energy that is.

I ask the questions so that I can understand what is being presented to me.

The truth is that I find everyone’s ideas and potential to be fascinating.  I am curious to know if people find their own story as compelling and based on reality as they would like me to believe it is.

However, the most important reason I ask so many questions is because I believe, as I learned from Gerald Weinberg’s writings many years ago, that when people come seeking advice or a solution to a problem, they as the subject matter expert often have within their mind the very solution they hope to obtain from someone else’s mind.

Mr. Weinberg posited that if one listens carefully, the owner of a problem will actually state the solution in the first five minutes of dialog.  Mr. Weinberg named this rule …. gasp … wait for it … The 5 Minute Rule.  It is brilliant in its simplicity.

Many times, the owner of a problem or position is so buried with mental baggage that they don’t know the answer or their ego warns them that any answer has already been judged before it was even expressed.  They become so focused on proving that they are the “right person for the job” that their hypersensitive ego steps in and their effort to demonstrate intelligence, qualifications, rationalization or justification drowns out the person trying to help them.

However, if the right questions are asked, probing the mind of the person with the problem, if the problem holder listens carefully, if the problem holder respectfully / factually offers an answer and if the querent listens carefully to the answers, then answers / solutions often present themselves.

There’s a lot of listening there, isn’t there?

People like me don’t just help others find a solution or discover their strengths.  Oftentimes they have it within themselves – they just needed a little help finding it, bringing it out and expressing it.

Asking appropriate questions provide an opportunity to explore within another, the strength of an idea, the thoroughness of the foundation that converts the idea into a result, the willingness of an individual to collaborate in making the idea into a reality and in some cases, offers the opportunity to correct a behavior before someone gets hurt.

It is also an opportunity to assess how strongly someone feels about their willingness to do whatever it takes to make their dream come true (or to correct information on which execution is based).

If someone is offended by a question, there is a good chance that they prefer not to deal with realities, that their ego doesn’t want to acknowledge that they may need some help or in fact, they may have discovered a foundational error that can’t be corrected or is not based on reality, ethics, morals, etc (but their ego doesn’t want to admit this).

For those people, being offended by simple questions should sound an alert that they are either not prepared for success or are not hungry enough for it.

And so if my question offends you, forgive me if I tell you that I won’t apologize to you. 

If you are offended,  you, me or both of us may have been saved from a disaster.

Maybe ……. unless you choose to go somewhere else where you hear what you want to hear and not what you need to hear.  After all, there is comfort in hearing what you want to hear from a bunch of yes-people who have their own agendas or biases in play, often to your detriment.

Unfortunately in those situations, reality is a persistent beast.  It tells us what we need to hear repeatedly until we get it.

Or … if we ignore it too long … it gets us.

But then, you already knew that … didn’t you? :-)

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Related Posts:

• If My Question Offends You
• The Most Important Question of All
• Hope or Gloom – We Thrive and Die Together

PS: I am reminded of a similar phenomenon, being offended by what is not said. For example, if I make an anti-Clinton comment, people should not infer I am pro-Trump (or vice versa).  Too many people intentionally make this error in an attempt to be deliberately offended, thus rationalizing and justifying a feeling of anger or hatred.  Such actions are equally damaging if embraced.

For The Love of God, Please Shut Up … Just For a Little Bit

Leadership to me means duty, honor, country. It means character, and it means listening from time to time. - George W. Bush

Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. - Jane Goodall

When you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die. - Lillian Smith

It’s been a phenomenally (translation: staggeringly) busy year for me and for this reason, I haven’t had much to say on my blog this year.

That’s what I tell a lot of people who have been following my musings for years and who ask me why I am not writing much these days.

Well, in the spirit of true confession, I have been extremely busy but that’s not why my writing output has dropped significantly this year.

It’s because I am listening.

One of the things I have been known for for years (according to colleagues) is my ability to own a boardroom.  People have told me and others that they have shown up for meetings that I am in just because they wanted to see what I was going to say or do in a meeting, especially the complicated or politically loaded meetings (or to hear my impersonation of Zig Ziglar as I note here In Memory of Zig Ziglar–Building a Legacy).

However, some of those same people, if they didn’t know me well (or at all) have gone to some meetings and were disappointed that I said little if anything.

What disabled my active (sometimes overactive) mouth?

Whenever I meet a group of people for the first time, unless it’s my meeting, I have little to say.  I say little (or nothing) because I am listening to what people have to say, how they say it and hopefully, why they say it.  My philosophy is that if I don’t know who the participants are, what they have to contribute, how they contribute it and what motivates them, then I will have little of value to offer to either supplement their ideas or to correct them.

It’s a style opposite that which is embraced by many people in this connected world – people who feel that there is a competition to be the first or the loudest but where the competition for who is right or impactful in a positive, meaningful way contains a much smaller field.

Once I understand the dynamics and intentions for the meeting and its participants, then I usually have a lot to say.  That’s why people who make trouble for others don’t like it when I go quiet … because I am thinking and they may be the subject of my mental gymnastics. :-)

As my professional world rolls along at its usual hectic pace, I always keep an eye on the “stuff” going on in the world, “stuff” such as:

• The impact of the Syrian situation, both the war and the refugees, and the potential long term impact on world stability.
• The impact (or not) of terrorism in general.
• The concerns over the security of our technology, especially in the areas of protecting our infrastructure from attack.
• The general preparedness of citizens in case trouble should arrive in society from any one of a number of sources.
• The fight over global climate change, the fuss over whose data to use, whether it’s real or not and who is to blame (while few wonder how to survive it).
• The insanity of the US political scene, the raging disconnect between citizens and politicians in general, and the impact on the world as a result.
• The ability for political correctness to sweep over us to the point where we are so delicate and sensitive that a simple “good morning” might offend us (or launch a lawsuit).
• The LGBTQ dialog and the sides who are vehemently for and against it with few caring to understand what is happening as a result of this shift.
• The impact of social media and its ability to actually break down our ability to communicate and be social and respectful to and with each other.
• The conversion of news media into tools of political and corporate manipulation as well as a source of demeaning entertainment.
• General conversations that are driven by emotion and intimidation instead of data, respect and collaboration.
• Why a woman is allowed to abort a baby (even late term) in some places and that is ok and yet in those same places, a person who kills that same pregnant woman is charged with a double homicide (only explainable by the bureaucrats that created this paradox).
• The inevitable accounting that is coming in our global financial system for not doing the right things for decades (or centuries).
• Our inability to be honest about aviation security, financial system security and the like.

The list goes on – my apologies for having left out what matters to you.

Do I have opinions on this stuff?

Of course …. who doesn’t?

But would expressing my opinion change things or make a difference?

I’m not sure and so if I can’t be sure of making a positive impact, then I don’t say anything at all, otherwise I’m just contributing more noise to a very noisy world, a world where more people are talking and fewer are listening (and thinking / acting using appropriate data).

However and more importantly, as a long time Wall St. strategy guy, I know that events and the intention of the people behind those events are guiding us towards something either very good or very bad.

And unless we spend more time observing and listening to those events (and the people behind them), we are less likely to have an opportunity to anticipate where those people and events are taking us, thereby reducing our ability to either amplify a great future or reduce or eliminate a bad one.

The dilemma is that is if you don’t wilfully create a future, then one is created for you.

Are you willing to bet on the notion that a good future can be created by accident?

The Bottom Line

People write a lot about terrorism but it continues to disrupt people’s brains and lives.  Meanwhile, we can’t seem to have any dialog around whether it is as big a threat as politicians and the media tell us it is.

People lecture us about the importance of protecting human Life and then take it to prove their point.

We talk about how we are safer than ever from the devastation of war but last year, we set a global record with military spending exceeding $1.7 trillion.

Other people talk about protecting their “minority status” because it is the respectful thing to do and then disrespect others in order to protect their status.

Some people write a lot about how to communicate effectively, respectfully and collaboratively and yet many people are finding it easier to use modern technology to shout others down or intimidate them into not participating in a global dialog.

Politicians lecture us about how they will make a difference and then create careers (with our support) that accomplish little if anything of value to the people they represent (and not even close to what was promised at election time).  We get angry and then elect the next generation of politicians who do the same thing.

We look to entertainers to create our opinions on politics, business, economics and the like, ignoring the fact that they know little or nothing about the subject (have you ever been lectured to someone citing The View as their source?).

Even with something as mundane as weight loss, we have so many experts offering us tomes explaining how to live healthier and yet we are not making a dent in our health as obesity and the diseases related to it continue to overwhelm us.

The list goes on.

The reality is that with billions of smart people talking, we are not solving many important things commensurate with the number of opinions being expressed and the cacophony of noise created by the majority of those opinions.

That’s not to say that our world is ugly nor am I saying that we are short of smart people.

In fact, it is a beautiful world, filled with natural and man-made creations that are stunning in their awe-inspiring construct, impact and potential and many brilliant people walk this beautiful earth.

But we can only continue to have a beautiful world if we work harder to keep it that way and we allow the intelligent words of the brilliant to rise above the noise created by the uninformed, the misinformed and the ignorant.

And that’s why I wonder if we need to pause for a moment, listen a little more attentively, think a little more strategically and then take actions that are more intelligently thought out and less of a reflexive kneejerk nature.

What do you think?

Or are you are too busy preparing to tell me that I am wrong.

After all, too many of us listen with intent to reply rather than to learn, to understand and to make a positive impact on the world around us.

Why and how do you listen to others?

Are you sure?

Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to shut up and listen a little bit more.

How about you? :-)

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum and a Long Distance Dedication

A kind reader strongly refuted my remarks by sending me a lengthy email with a number of motivational poster shots and quotes from famous people. Unfortunately, he did not add any personal content outside of writing his own subject line. It made me laugh and I felt that I needed to respond with a little fun.

Warning: There is no original content in my response either as I share some of the work by the great folks at Despair.com :-).

Create a great day for yourself and others, because merely having one is too passive an experience!

Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.

Ineptitude: If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

Planning: Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.

Preservation: Action will be taken to prevent the next disaster as soon as possible after it has occurred.

Pretension: The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume your pretentious.

Pride: The art of calling faith in yourself "self esteem" while calling it "conceit" when you see it in others.

Recognition: Having your moment in the sun isn't always a good thing.

Recognition: The more you reward the most trivial of achievements, the more you produce the most trivial of people.

Reliabilithy: It's not really that helpful if all you do is blow up every hour.

Social Media: If the unexamined Life is not worth living, it's certainly not worth broadcasting online 24 hours a day.

Wisdom: Sometimes the only different between a budding genius and a blooming idiot is where they choose to take a stand.

Gay or Straight–Moving Away From Labels

The earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it. - Chief Joseph

I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'm a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights. I care about animal rights. - Ellen DeGeneres

Some years ago, I had a secretary who had an annoying habit of taking work that was error-free and filling it with errors before sending it on to clients.  I asked her often why she did this and her response constantly was an excuse of “the spell checker is wrong”, “I thought I could do it better”, etc. and I had noted warnings to her (and in her HR file) that this behavior could not continue.

She was also routinely late completing mundane tasks and so one day out of curiosity, I checked the Internet access logs for the company and found that she surfed porn sites for an average of 20-30 hours per week from her office computer.  As someone who doesn’t like to censor access to information, I had mistakenly assumed that my team could self-regulate in regards to the use of office equipment during company time – she was the only one in all my years who violated that assumption.

One Monday morning when I came into the office, I noticed that a lot of our servers had been dismantled and left as they were.  Going to the building security office and reviewing logs and security video, we were able to ascertain that she had signed into the building with a false name and had people accompanying her for reasons that were never explained to me.  These were the people who had dismantled our servers (also for reasons unknown to me).

This was the last straw and I arranged to have her employment terminated.  I also mistakenly assumed that this was the end of the matter even though she protested during the termination process that the previously noted concerns were not sufficient for termination.

So imagine my surprise a few days later when an attorney contacted me to make arrangements for the out-of-court settlement which I was told I would be forced to sign.

“After all”, the attorney said, “my client represents many minorities.  She is African American, a woman, a single mom and gay.  You are also violating her freedom of expression by telling her that surfing porn sites during business hours is not permitted.”

After he had finished his spiel, I calmly said “Look – I fired her for the reasons I explained to her.  I don’t care about her physical attributes, her orientation or anything else.  I pay her to use her abilities to fill a need in the company and to stretch and grow as a person.  If she has no interest or ability to do that, she can’t work here.”

We had a testy exchange, after which I told him to go ahead and file a lawsuit against us and I would bring her performance (or lack of) data against his sensationalist, unrelated, opportunistic agenda.  I went on to tell him that I believed that he was leveraging her minority status for his own gain and that he didn’t give a s*&^ about her as a human being.

I never heard from him or his client again.

Today I saw the Department of the Interior invite the LGBTQ community on Facebook to tweet photos of themselves in US parks with the hash tag #ImOUTdoors, promoting their sexual orientation.

The invitation took me back to the woman who I had fired many years before, where the reason for her termination (poor performance) took a backseat to other attributes of the individual that had no bearing on the job that she attempted to perform.

And then I thought about humanity and the challenges we face globally today.

I wonder if we spent more time celebrating each human as a miracle, individually and collectively, instead of focusing on why we are so different, then we could move on to the greater things that we can and must accomplish together.  We should also focus on the things that matter within our respective mandates so that such focus produces a result commensurate with our mandate and potential.  For the Department of the Interior’s promotion, sexual orientation appears to be the prominent theme, with the beauty of nature playing a secondary role.  However, according to Wikipedia, their primary role is stated as follows:

The United States Department of the Interior (DOI) is the United States federal executive department of the U.S. government responsible for the management and conservation of most federal land and natural resources, and the administration of programs relating to American Indians, Alaska Natives, Native Hawaiians, territorial affairs, and insular areas of the United States.

I think this promotion strays from their mandate.  As I poked them today on Twitter, I didn’t see a similar promotion for Black History Month.  How would it read, I wonder.  Would it be viewed as a racist promotion?   Probably.

The Bottom Line

The uniqueness of humanity is truly a miracle. We must make sure that the rights of everyone are protected morally, ethically and legally.

When we strive to work together, with our uniqueness protected in these ways, then there is no limit to what we can create together.

However, when we focus instead on our individual specialness for no reason that moves us forward as a species or when we promote a specific subset of humanity as “special and unique” beyond that which is necessary to protect their rights, then we set ourselves up in little camps and fiefdoms.

And once we have done that, I think divisions and cracks appear in humanity, weakening our ability to tackle the real challenges that we face in the world together in the areas of the economy, the ecology, war, disease, hunger, poverty and other key areas. 

Many who claim to be oppressed should look at people who are really oppressed and then maybe they would find a new cause to embrace that furthers humanity.

LGBTQ or straight, white, black or any other color, Christian, Muslim, atheist or other belief, male or female and other labels we like to apply to ourselves are often used to either claim victimhood or claim superiority over others.

Neither approach, victimhood or superiority, helps us to be better as individuals or as a society.

I think we need to focus more on what we can achieve together while we make sure that our rights as individuals are protected and not be used as exclusionary promotions that promote specific people.

I also think that in our hurry and blindness to be politically correct and socially sensitive, I wonder if we realize that our haste to promote one group as “special” always slights other groups, creating an irony of reinforcing differences that we are trying to get rid of.  To that point, the more we try to highlight everybody’s uniqueness, the more uniqueness will surface demanding to be recognized and we will never catch up.

This is exacerbated by some people like the attorney I mentioned, the media, politicians or opportunists like the divisive Al Sharpton and others who use such divisionary “stuff” to serve their own needs under the guise of serving someone else’s, oftentimes using venomous, confrontational, divisive, bullying language to accomplish their alleged task of bringing people together.

As my gay cousin and friend Paul said today:

“Most of us do not care and we think those other protests are stupid. I want to tell them to shut up and go be mature. Those are only the vocal ones. They don't speak for all of us, just like no one person or group can speak for all the straight people.”

We are a miracle and the things we create are nothing short of miraculous when we apply ourselves appropriately and collaboratively, celebrating and leveraging our uniqueness and protecting the rights of others while not exploiting our uniqueness to diminish others or promote ourselves at the expense of others.

How about we celebrate and embrace that more?

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum – The Necessity For Calm, Respectful Dialog

Some people are offended by my personal policy of always asking for respectful dialog that embraces everyone.  Those people who are offended by a call for calm, respectful, data-centric dialog often carry agendas other than or in addition to the one that they are promoting and should be examined closely before being embraced as a “voice” of any specific community.

Calm, respectful dialog often carries the day quicker, more effectively and more fairly, something that is sometimes secondary in priority for those with ulterior motives.

When Education, Stereotypes and Ignorance Collide

I was reminded today of what happens when stereotypes and ignorance collide and the danger that such a collision represents when it infiltrates our education system.

I was attending a public function in Calgary today when a lady approached me and presented her business card, indicating that she was running as a candidate for public school trustee.

I thanked her but indicated that I supported the Roman Catholic school system.  She replied that at least she didn’t support a school system that restricted how people think and which minimized their potential to learn.  She then proceeded to bash the Roman Catholic system.

“Ah”, I thought.  “One of those.  Time to move on.”

I thanked her and moved on but she followed me and made some comments about our tax system and its failure to provide for adequate education and health support systems, to which I agreed that we did indeed have challenges.  I also indicated that having consulted to many government groups over the years in multiple countries, I was fully aware of the challenges that we faced.  She replied that I didn’t know what she knew.

Fair enough. I moved on.

Again.

Ten minutes later, she approached me again to lecture me about how the tax system in Canada didn’t work and I replied that having worked on Wall Street for many years, I was very familiar with the system and its pros and cons.

She then made a very interesting observation:

“So you worked on Wall St, did you?  Well that says a lot about the type of person you are, doesn’t it?  In fact, it says everything about your character.”

She then proceeded to belittle me (or least attempt to), basically equating anyone who has worked on Wall St. with the scum of the earth.  After having had her say, she left.

As I was discussing this with the other people sitting at my table, someone at the next table overheard me and expressed his story.

Ms. Mowat had approached him earlier and at one point made a derogatory comment equating his darker skin with the likelihood that he would be voting for Mayor Nenshi, merely because they shared a darker skin color.

She also suggested that this was a natural thing to do since they were probably from the same part of the world anyway.

This gentleman’s ancestry is from the Philippines while Mayor Nenshi’s family traces its roots back to Tanzania.

Oh well, close enough.  They are from the same planet after all.

He had another story to share as well that I won’t share here but involved dialog she had with children under age that were in his care and his temptation to call the police as a result.

The ignorance that this woman demonstrated doesn’t surprise me.

The fact that she exhibited such ignorance publicly while running for office does surprise me.

That fact that she is running for office where she will have an opportunity to influence the education of young people frightens me.

We can’t always dictate the nature of the people who enter our sphere of influence nor should we try.

Not only do we not have the right to do so but in fact, we would become exhausted in attempting such a feat.

However, when said nature is blatantly ignorant and attempting to gain a position of authority and influence in our education system, then that’s another thing.

I’m damn proud of my career on Wall St. and have met many fine people there.  The Filipino gentleman I met today, focused on helping youth, is also a very nice guy.  I suspect he and I have each discovered a new friend today.

Ms. Mowat, however, needs to learn that a Life well spent is easier and more fulfilling when we spend our time building bridges instead of burning them.

How the next generation grows up to assume the mantle of authority in the world is a reflection of what we teach them, what we demonstrate to them through our own actions ….

…. and what we allow them to be exposed to.

When people like Ms. Mowat come along, if we don’t call it like it is, then we are allowing our children to be exposed to a less than ideal environment, one focused on ignorance and stupidity when we should be focused on respect and collaboration.

Closing thoughts

On the back of her business card, it says:

Our Goal: Build Schools Now!

I shudder to think what kind of schools she believes need to be created.

One final note. I went to her website to see what she stands for and was greeted by a template that said “This site is under development”.

Truth be told, I don’t need a website to tell me what she stands for.

She’s too busy shoving it down our throat.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum

After some additional research, I see why she worked very hard to pick a fight with me today. 

It is because I am the enemy. :-)

On this website, she describes herself as the following:

Helen Mowat is a dynamic teacher, a visionary thinker and an integrative researcher. She loves connecting the dots, common sense, and seeing the BIG PICTURE. 

I love reading, researching and understanding social and political issues. I am whole, complete and a very open-minded person.

But it’s her recommended reading list that appears most interesting.

On her recommended reading list, one can find these tidy little items – How the Elite Play God, Is the New World Order Jewish and the conspiracy ramblings of Alex Jones.  It also has links to anti-vaccination ramblings, material tying the American Pledge of Allegiance to the Nazis  and a whole pile of other “curious” reading.

What is ALSO intriguing is that her recommended reading list includes a link to John Taylor Gatto where the site owner “challenges the myths of modern schooling” – a curious website recommendation from someone running for school board trustee.

And for those who don’t know what her recommendation for GlobalResearch.ca is all about, Rational Wiki describes it as:

The prevalent conspiracist strand relates to global power-elites (primarily governments and corporations) and their New World Order.  Specific featured conspiracy theories include those addressing 9/11, vaccines, genetic modification, Zionism, HAARP, global warming, and David Kelly.

And finally, she recommends that people read John Kozy’s material which can be found here.  Mr. Kozy describes the purpose of his website as:

Expose the Bull: A site devoted to the logical analysis of the lies, prevarications, and nonsense being fed to the American people by government, business, and the mainstream press. Topics include American society, culture, government, law, Supreme_Court, education, economy, economic_theory, economics, foreign_policy, religion, and more.

I see a lot of conspiracy stuff and very little useful, pro-school, pro-education, pro-children stuff.

It’s also odd to see someone promoting anti-establishment material while running for the establishment at the same time.

I would recommend that people who are considering voting for this person or any person truly understand their candidate’s background and beliefs first … and then make the choice from an informed perspective.

Society: Are We There Yet?

Most parents have heard that dreaded question at some point in their driving lifetime, the question that, if left unanswered, gets asked again and again until the parent goes crazy but if answered, probably draws an unfavourable response that the answer is not good enough.

The question is “Are we there yet?” (insert whining tone for effect).

The other common event that many a driving parent has had to deal with are kids who love to argue once they are in the confined space of a vehicle, poking at each other and trying to incite unrest in what would be a blissful drive otherwise.  Many children also have a sixth sense that the longer the drive ahead of them, the more they need to misbehave (at least until they get bored).

Many parents in such situations occasionally look in the mirror and make comments such as “I can see what you’re doing back there”, lose patience and yell at them, attempt to bribe them with teasers like “There will be no treats when we get to grandma’s” or say something more threatening like “You know that distracting the driver is very dangerous and could kill us all, don’t you?”.

And despite how many times this is repeated around the world and barring an unforeseen incident, the vehicle usually makes it way to its destination at the time it was meant to despite the arguing, noise and unrest that was contained within the vehicle during the journey. 

No amount of mindless questioning or making demands of the driver have any significant influence on either the direction, the destination or the arrival time.  The vehicle’s mechanical systems are indifferent to the noise and unrest contained within its passenger compartment and the driver is focused more on getting to the desired destination safely than figuring out how to keep the kids placated unless not responding to them places the vehicle in greater danger. 

The driver is also limited by speed limits, driving conditions and performance characteristics of the vehicle and therefore is not able to get to their destination faster than is possible given these constraints …. no matter how much they wish they could.

Is society any different?

In observing some arguments on social media in recent days, I believe many people fit the description of “the kids in the car”.

They forget that our judicial, legal and financial systems have for the most part, far outstripped us, their creators, in terms of our ability to guide, direct or even predict their behaviour or outcomes.  Such systems operate at their own pace with their own destinations despite our belief that we can define or change them.

And because many people forget this, they spend an inordinate amount of time yelling and screaming at each other, at “the system” or at “the drivers” in an effort to make the system change its direction or get to its destination faster.

In the case of the driving parent, smart children who understand more strategic ways of asking questions discover that they can influence the driver in ways that benefit everyone as opposed to yelling and screaming which for the most part expends more energy but produces a less favourable result.

The same is true about society.

Yelling and screaming at each other will not influence a system that has a life of its own and which is indifferent to our passion and our arguing.  Nor will yelling and screaming influence the people who believe they are “driving the system” unless the person who is “driving” perceives a greater threat by not responding. 

In situations such as the latter, the person “driving” will offer just enough teasers or threats to keep the “passengers” quiet so that the “driver” can return to that which is more important to the “driver”.

The bottom line is this …

Being strategic about asking the right question, the right way, at the right time and with the right intention can produce a much more significant result for the “passengers”.  Otherwise, if we create too much noise and distraction, we may inadvertently cause the “driver” to make an error.

And then a lot of people may get hurt.

We need more focus on the road ahead right now than ever in our known history.  The “drivers” see potholes, detours and delays ahead that may not be immediately obvious to the people sitting in the backseat.

And on the rare occasion that a “driver” is unqualified or unsuitable to be driving, one doesn’t merely overpower the driver to take command of the vehicle.

There are better and safer ways of influencing the “driver” that must be used.

Do you utilize them or are you too busy poking and insulting the person next to you?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum

It has been said that many people project outwardly what they struggle with inwardly and for this reason, we can often ascertain someone’s demons and struggles based on what they are screaming about the most.

For this reason, we should probably be careful about what we scream and shout about, lest we tip our hand to others regarding a potential weakness within ourselves.

It is for this reason that some “smart” people intentionally evoke emotion, especially anger, in some people in an effort to expedite the revealing of such weaknesses.

Some related musings ……

Asking Questions That Get Answered

Solving Puzzles–Follow the Breadcrumbs

Anger: Setting Yourself Up For Manipulation

Focusing on What Unites or Separates Us

People who know me well know that I have a fascination for politics at all levels and can often be found monitoring various in-session legislatures in Canada and the US while I am working.

If I hear something that sharply resonates with me or disturbs me, I have been known to make an observation or two in social media, observations that often draw a variety of responses and yesterday was no exception.

Some of my observations about the Alberta Legislature drew some comments from a number of people including Rick Newcombe (@RickNewcombe) and we had a light exchange before our dialog grew a little more serious, including appearing to lean towards becoming slightly contentious.

I’m not afraid of nor do I shy away from such dialog and most times after such dialog takes place, I move on, either because I’m busy, the conversation doesn’t seem to be going anywhere or the person I am chatting with is unable to conduct an intelligent, respectful conversation.

However, this exchange seemed different.  I figured out where Rick lived and despite a heavy schedule, I did the improbable in a world that prefers to send (or hide behind the safety of) emails, Facebook messages, tweets and texts.

I called him.

I’m not sure what he expected when he saw my name appear on his caller id but he answered the phone.

What resulted was a great, positive, respect-filled conversation between two men passionately committed to improving the nature of political discourse and with the ultimate intention of creating a better world for the generations that are following ours.

I was intrigued by our conversation since I have repeatedly asked Wildrose Party leader Danielle Smith for answers to various questions, statements and assertions in the past and she has responded by blocking me and others who dare to demand truth, transparency and accountability (even though she demands such things of others).

For this reason, it would be easy for many to believe that a former Wildrose Party election candidate and I couldn’t have a positive conversation and yet we did.

Why?

Because people passionate about the creation of a stronger future for our young people find that they have more in common than not and that intelligent, respect-filled, mature individuals can always find a way to collaborate to build such better futures.

Conversations like the one between Rick and I prove that despite initially perceived differences in political stripes, there are many opportunities for dialog – dialog that is healthy, respectful, intelligent, mature, built upon facts and evidence and that recognizes that we all thrive or die together as a society.

Oftentimes we only become aware of our commonalities when we lay aside the sterile, emotionless (or emotion-mistaking) environment of social media and we actually reach out and make human contact.

It is at that point that we discover that our common foundation in the grander human context unites us and calls us to work together to create a stronger future.

I wish some political leaders, including Danielle Smith and others, could understand this and practice the art of sharing, listening and understanding more than the art of shouting and posturing and start focusing more on citizen solutions and less on government failure / replacement?

I think this is critical if we are going to create the stronger future we have the potential to create and which we must create if we really care about future generations.

I also think we need more leaders like Rick Newcombe in the world, providing role models that our young people and some of our political leaders can learn from.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Life Coaching: One Size Does NOT Fit All

I was approached by a “Life coach” this morning who was pretty confident that he could help grow me personally and professionally.  Intrigued by his offer and how it was presented, I agreed to an initial 30-minute free consultation in the coffee shop where we had run into each other.

During the free consultation, this individual asked me to be as forthright as I could in regards to where my Life has been and then he would help outline a plan for my future.

“Sounds good”, I said and being a transparent person, I proceeded to outline:

1. Growing up in poverty in a town of 2,000 people and ending up as an award-winning consultant in NYC, not always knowing what I wanted but definitely knowing what I didn’t want.

2. Facing and overcoming a plethora of medical conditions, some of which had the potential to be fatal.

3. Walking away from four airplane “events”, some of which were rated by the pilots as being in the top three scariest events of their lives.

4. Having a perfect 4 - 0 record as the victim of muggings in NYC (although if I’m the winner, am I the victim?).

5. Founding / cofounding a number of companies and IPOing one of them.

6. My professional and personal involvement with various “interesting groups”, some of whom that are clandestinely focused on the safety of civilians.

7. Early-life encounters with pedophiles who failed with their intentions.

8. A young life filled with bullies.

9. Complex relationships, some successful and some not, personally and professionally.

10. My beliefs about our individual need and responsibility to serve the world.

11. My spiritual beliefs.

12. Stories of the 15 great friends I lost in the World Trade Center on 9/11.

13. What keeps me awake at night in regards to the security of our citizens and of the world.

I didn’t get to the really scary stuff.  I ran out of time and wasn’t sure if his mind would have survived the cranial defibrillator that would have resulted from sharing those stories.

When I had finished summarizing my Life, he was speechless for a moment and then stuttered and stammered his way through how he thought he could help me.

He didn’t do very well.

In fact, at the end of the conversation he admitted that my Life intimidated him.  I think the word he actually used was “frightened” and before we were done, he was asking me to be his Life coach.

Alas, time does not permit but I was flattered by the request.

This encounter reminded me that it is easy to assume (incorrectly) that people need fixing (as defined by the observer), that we must fix those people and that our approach, knowledge and Life context provide us with the tools and insight to accomplish this “repair” successfully.

We DO have value – just not to everyone

It is true that we all bring Life context and knowledge that is of value to someone and that we have a responsibility to serve others.

But let’s not assume that each of us has the obligation, the right and the ability to fix everyone.

Once we assume that we have a one-size-fits-all model that can heal and guide anyone, I suspect that it is easy for our humility to get lost in the hubris of our own self-perceived brilliance.

And when that happens, I believe that we lose sight of our opportunity to learn from others instead of assuming that everyone in the world is waiting to learn from us.

Are you still capable of learning from others or have you reached the pinnacle of your perfection?

How would others answer this question on your behalf?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

“To Sell is Human”– The Secret To Saving the World

As a long time strategy advisor to Fortune 25 orgs, military, governments and the like, I continue to have a growing concern that we are just not “getting it” when it comes to embracing and promoting messages that are necessary to create a better world for tomorrow.

As someone who is kept awake by the projects I have been exposed to and is bound by a bazillion covenants of secrecy, I look at a world that is nowhere near achieving its phenomenal potential. 

I worry because in Life, as in business, if we are not purposely moving towards success , then we are more than likely destined to create failure.

Unfortunately, looking through rose-colored glasses, expressing or choosing ignorance of what’s happening around us or focusing only on the good stuff in the world is not getting it done.  Historically, such approaches have never produced much of any value.

Even when people seem to understand what their message should be, it gets lost in poor strategic intention and clumsy tactical execution. They rely on experts who tell them that the message needs to be blindly blasted out in social media campaigns, shoved down our throats in aggressive in-your-face messages or gently, lovingly soft-pedaled to the masses.

Even now, in the wake of the Newtown, CT. tragedy, the pro and anti gun movements are so intent on yelling and screaming at each other that the solution to guns and violence in America seems to be only a vague possibility limited to dreamers.

Unfortunately, many of these people have missed a key component:

If we don’t know what inspires the recipient of our message to take action as a result of our message, it doesn’t matter how often we hit them with it.  In fact, the more times we hit them in ignorance of how to move their head and heart, the more likely we will turn them away.

I’ve studied many complex strategies and listened to many experts over the years.  Truthfully, I had gotten bored with what I was reading and hearing, with everyone regurgitating the same old stuff.  If their stuff was of any value at all, we’d be using it effectively and many of our issues would be solved already.

I thought I had seen it all.

And then a powerful book crossed my desk.

“To Sell is Human – The Surprising Truth About Moving Others” by Daniel Pink was a punch between the eyes. 

Mr. Pink’s assertion, as expressed in Chapter 1, “We’re All In Sales Now”, at first blush seems over-simplified.

After all, I’m not a salesman.  When I think about a salesman, I think about the stereotypical, in-your-face, slick, underhanded, Aqua Velva-bathed guy selling me a car that was only driven by grandma on Sundays.

My personal and professional Life is wired around directing influence, sharing knowledge and collaborating towards intentional outcomes.  In my industry, there is a common distaste for salesman and we can’t wait for them to shut up so that we can get on with the real stuff.

I am trying to move my clients in a specific direction that I believe is mutually beneficial.

I’m trying to sell them on the idea of …..

Ahhhhhhhh …. that was when I got hit between the eyes.

After I had gotten over my cranial defibrillator moment, Mr. Pink had me hooked.

To highlight the wisdom and insight that Mr. Pink harvested and shared in “To Sell is Human” would require me to cut and paste the entire book here.  I tweeted at one point that my greatest mistake in reading this book was that I didn’t have a spare highlighter in hand when my first one ran out.

This is not a feel-good book that says “Just believe in yourself and everything falls into place”.  People who follow my musings know that I believe that this advice in isolation of useful execution advice is one of the most worthless, disempowering things you can tell someone.

It is also not a highly technical book that causes you to fall asleep as you wonder if psychiatrists and other experts know any word shorter than 5 syllables.

It is not a Salesman 101 book either that encourages you to embrace a slick, inauthentic, opaque persona that so many people around us have embraced but which we tend to loathe when we are faced with it.

However, it is a book that grips your head and your heart with powerful insight and is backed by research that resonates with everyone regardless of where they are in Life.  It uses examples that are simple in structure but profound in impact and which can be applied immediately in every aspect of our Life.

For example, a friend of mine was struggling with the title for his new book and knew that the title would make or break the book’s success.  He reached out to me for advice and I passed on this nugget from Mr. Pink who described three questions that must be asked when defining a pitch:

1. What do you want them to know?

2. What do you want them to feel?

3. What do you want them to do?

My friend was blown away by the questions and in exploring them, unlocked the logjam in his head regarding the title.

Do you dare to be better?

Daniel Pink’s book dares us to explore the subtleties of how and what the other side “hears” (and needs to hear) instead of relying on our own ego that tells us “I already know what they need to hear”.

And perhaps if we dare to be open to learning new ways of moving others, maybe we can then dare to believe that we actually can manifest the world of unlimited potential that we like to dream and talk about.

Daniel Pink wrote a book that targets every person at the core of their personal and professional Life.  But on a larger scale, I think he has inadvertently (or perhaps purposely and covertly) written a book that has potential to transform our world.

If you believe that you are already a master of moving people and that there is zero room for improvement in your Life and in society, that all is perfect, then this book is not for you.  You are indeed a Master and should already be engaging the world at a higher level to help make it better.

For the rest of us, if you want to make your personal and professional Life stronger and you also feel that we can and must do better in our nation and around the world, then “To Sell Is Human” by Daniel Pink is a must-read.

I believe that the challenges of the world call us to do the best we can with our talents, knowledge, passion and purpose and that we must do it with a sense of urgency.  If you don’t believe me, go get an elevated security clearance and then I will show you.

I also believe that we have a shared responsibility to create a strong future for our children, enabling them to live a Life of stability, peace and promise.  We won’t get there alone – collaboration and knowing how to convince others how to help us get there is essential to success.

But that’s just what I believe.

What’s more important is ……

….. what do you believe …..

…. and what are you waiting for?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

The Gun Debate and Lousy Message Promotion

I’m always leery of wide-eyed fanatics who blindly push material on me with a message that doesn’t stand up to scrutiny or that I’m not allowed to question.

Wide-eyed fanatics come in many flavors ….

…. the ones who are trying to save my soul.  When I tell them that part of my background is in theology, they are undeterred and proceed to tell me that everything I have learned in the past is wrong but they will “straighten me up”.  Apparently they have the real hotline to God.

…. the ones who are trying to save my body from the scourges of the pending Mayan apocalypse or some other pending disaster that has been revealed to them alone.

…. the ones who are trying to save my mind by attempting to convince me that Twilight, Harry Potter or some other popular book is the best book I will ever read, bar none.

They remind me of robots in a “take over the world” science fiction.  They can only answer questions that they have been programmed to answer.  Thinking outside of those parameters is not permitted.

I don’t mind them being passionate but some people don’t understand that there needs to be limits to their passion. :-)

I guess I need to add a lot of people for and against guns to this list of wide-eyed, unthinking human beings.

Personally, I have no issue with weapons for self protection, for hunting and the like.  When I was a kid, I would go duck hunting with my Dad.

However, when it comes to automatic or semi-automatic weapons, grenade launchers, machine guns (yes, there are over 1/2 million registered machine guns in America), large magazines, the ability to buy guns at gun shows without a background check and the like, I merely ask the question “why do you need them or need the right to buy them without a background check?”

I haven’t made my mind up when I ask questions like this.  I really want to know.  Perhaps there is a reason that I have missed or that is not readily apparent and when I ask such questions, I am providing people with an opportunity to educate me and perhaps sway my opinion.

However, I’ve been disappointed many times in recent days when it comes to the gun discussion.

Some gun proponents explain constitutional history (to the best of their ability), self defense and the like.   Fair enough.

However, many fall back on things like protecting their family against the alleged corrupt government that is coming to get them.

And many fall back on insults right out of the gate.

For the latter two, when I ask why they believe that the government is “coming to get them” or why they have to answer a normal, cordial question with insults and nothing else, many of these people fall back on more insults and even threats.

As an outspoken public figure, I have received my share of death threats and so I’m not really concerned by such “expressions of passion”.

But if the best that a lot of these people have are threats of violence with no hint of rationalization or attempts to convince me with information, I wonder if they realize they are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy for themselves and their right to own firearms.

Anytime I see a wide-eyed person promoting gun ownership and espousing threats, I think they should be disarmed immediately.  Telling them that makes them very angry, exposing them for what they really are.

Paranoid, dangerous people who insist on being armed but who really need to be disarmed quickly.

In fairness, it’s not just the pro-gun side

On the flip side, there are anti-gun advocates who feel that an absence of guns means an absence of violence.  They forget that an intent to kill will be carried out with something else if a gun is not available.  It may not be as easy or as spontaneous in some situations but there is no stopping a person with an intention and a burning desire to carry out that intention.

And to prove that point, anti-gun advocates make their points with intimidation and insults.  In doing so, they seem to have lost sight of their own message that violence only exists when there is a gun present.

Dialog – a better way for both sides

Now, in truth, there are many wonderful, sane, intelligent people out there who have a strong desire to possess weapons for a variety of reasons – hunting, self-protection, as a hobby and the like.  For many of these people, I have no issue with their interest in firearms possession per se.

There are also many wonderful people out there who are trying to bring peace and love to the world but aren’t blind to the reality that expecting heaven on earth is not realistic.

Unfortunately, their respective messages are being lost in the cacophony of people who are unable to discuss, debate or dialog with data, facts, respect, restraint or a sense of decorum.

And as it is with many things, it is always a few people who spoil it for everyone else, regardless of what side of the issue they stand on.

In business, when I am trying to convince a client of a specific direction that I feel works best, I do so with facts, illustrations, respect and a sense of collaboration for the mutual benefit of all.  I stand firm on my beliefs while at the same time, I remain open to the other side’s view as long as it is delivered with data and respect.

Maybe the wide-eyed gun owners (not the sensible ones) should consider doing the same. 

And by the same token, the wide-eyed anti-gun people should also consider following suit.

It’s only when we listen to each other, understand each other’s perspective and then work on a solution that meets somewhere in the middle do we actually find a solution.  After all, if you don’t like it when people are in your face yelling and screaming, why do you think they in turn will be open to you doing the same?

In the meantime, all we get is a lot of noise …. a lot of anger …. and yes …. deaths that could and should have been prevented.

And when that happens, it’s NOT just the pro-gun advocates who own the responsibility of the event.

We all do.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Will It Hurt If I Pretend It’s Not There?

I was cut off this morning by a guy in a small truck who, as I approached him from his left, looked me right in the eye, looked forward, gunned his engine and raced across the road, missing me by inches.

While it was a close call, there was something I noticed as he raced across the road – something I have noticed in other drivers who drive carelessly like this.

He stared straight ahead with his jaw set and continued doing what he was doing (knowing I was there) when he could have avoided an issue by staying put and waiting the extra 5 seconds.

It looked like he was thinking “if I stare straight ahead and pretend he’s not there, he won’t hit me”.

As they say in the military, “his pucker factor was probably pretty high”.

Unfortunately for this driver, pretending I’m not there would not have eased the pain if the 4000 pound vehicle I was driving had carved his in two with him at the impact point.

Fortunately for this driver, one of us cared about the outcome and an accident was averted.

Meanwhile in America

I can’t help but look at the situation in America in the same way.

Mass shootings continue in the US but people assert that easy access to high power automatic weapons using armor piercing ammunition is not contributing to the issue.

Job growth in America is stagnant despite assurances from the President and others that things are looking up.

Young men and women continue to die overseas in wars that have had multiple justifications including fighting terrorism, eliminating WMDs, helping people throw off oppressive governments, helping people find democracy and a plethora of other reasons.  Now these fine men and women are making the ultimate sacrifice for no reason that anyone can put their finger on but we do it anyway and without question.

Lawmakers on Capitol Hill continue to put their own needs and priorities above those whom they serve and represent.

And while I am not a “birther” by any stretch, I am intrigued that the President’s legal defense bill is now in the millions as he deals with allegations of issues with his birth certificate (the one produced has a checksum error on it suggesting it was tampered with or is not real), his social security numbers (yes, plural), his Selective Service card and the means by which he obtained his degrees at Harvard and Columbia.

Millions that will be expensed back to the taxpayer at some point through creative accounting.

Meanwhile, millions of people aren’t concerned that if the potential for deceit has been raised, it should be addressed lest a much greater deceit be revealed.

But I digress.

The Importance of Human Denial

Human denial is an important trait.  Sometimes rather than getting tied up in knots fretting over something, the trait of human denial allows us to pretend our problems are not there for the moment, to buy us the breathing room to think and to come up with a plan.

But once denial continues beyond that and our behavior doesn’t change, then future results aren’t too hard to predict.

And so as we stare straight ahead with our jaw set and think:

• guns don’t kill people, people kill people and my desire to have weapons designed for killing people easily and in large numbers is a right as defined by the Founding Fathers
• the people who guided the nation as it fell into stagnation, who didn’t see it coming and whose predictions have repeatedly failed will be the people who will guide us out of the challenges we are in
• the wars overseas still have purpose
• it is ok that many (not all) politicians who represent us don’t actually care or have any sense of urgency regarding the challenges facing us daily
• the President elected on a platform of transparency and openness and who could wipe out all Republican and conspiracy resistance by coming clean should just stand his ground on principle no matter what the cost
• ____ insert your own unexplainable / unjustifiable / hope-it-works-out-because-I-want-it-to wish here ____

need to stop and think for a moment and remember.

As with this driver this morning, it’s easy to stare straight ahead (or close our eyes), cross our fingers and expect “the other guy” to prevent a disaster or for things to just work themselves out.

This is not strategy – this is luck.

The problem is that the other guy may be doing the same thing, expecting you to prevent the problem.

And when everyone is waiting for everyone else to solve the problem, eventually we get unlucky.

Why would we leave the future of the great nation that embraces Lady Liberty in the hands of Lady Luck instead?

Optimism and hope for a better future are important traits to have.

But they only matter when based on facts, knowledge, respectful dialog and action – action that each of us should take instead of assuming that the other guy has our back.

Otherwise, optimism and reality collide …. sometimes painfully.

The guy in the truck was lucky.

However, we can’t count on luck to accidentally produce a positive future.

Let’s count on intelligent, proactive action and collaboration to create the positive future that our potential calls us to create.

Sowing the seeds for a better future is the easy part.

Visualizing the great harvest in the future is the fun part.

The work that takes place between those two points is the hard part.

Our future generations deserve the effort that is required of us to nurture that which we planted.

We deserve what we get if we do otherwise.

But do they?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS  Some of my colleagues on The Hill have shared rumblings with me of the possibility of domestic issues around the nation, anticipated to occur from late August, 2012 to early September, 2012 and between November, 2012 and February, 2013.  The details of these issues are allegedly classified.  That being said, how can we expect to produce better results in this great nation if we can’t be trusted to work together to build upon the vision of the Founding Fathers?  I guess in a situation like this, it comes down to luck …….. hopefully that’s not all it comes down to.

Calgary Stampede Crash–A Different Viewpoint

My heart broke when I saw the video showing the chuck wagon crash at the Calgary Stampede last night that took the lives of three horses and injured a fourth. 

Slow motion video appears to show the left lead horse suddenly dragging a hind leg just before it crashed.  Even as its ability to run was compromised, it kept running until it collapsed into the other lead horse, creating the disaster that followed.

As the expected debate rages on about the cultural history of the Calgary Stampede versus the people who are screaming about abuse to animals, a different thought comes to my mind.

These horses died doing what they love – working as a team, driving hard and striving for “the win”.

They died doing what they were created to do.

And so while the debate rages on, I can only think of this …..

I hope, when my end-of-days has arrived, that it could be said that I went in the same way – working side by side with the people I love and respect, driving hard and still striving for “the win”.

Doing the things that I was created to do.

How about you?

When I think of this, I think that maybe, just maybe, that’s the real question that we need to find an answer to.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

The Art of the Conversation

I had an interesting conversation with a gentleman yesterday where we were discussing many of the challenges that confront the business world.

I posited that many of the challenges I see in the business and technology sectors are not because we lack technology, tools, processes, best-practices, methodologies and frameworks but rather because of a simpler and more mundane reason.

It’s because we don’t know how to talk to each other.

Or more importantly, it’s because we don’t know how to listen to each other.

There is a great company in the Republic of Ireland by the name of Vision  that offers a service offering called “Commitment Based Management”.

I like to refer to it as “the art of the conversation”.

While I won’t dig into the details of the offering, it is built around understanding each other’s needs and building mutually acceptable commitments to each other to ensure that each person’s contributions and needs are recognized and honored.

When I examine the many projects I have participated in or observed over the years and seek to understand what separates the successful projects from the disasters (factoring out unforeseen circumstances good and bad beyond the control of people), there is one thing that stands out.

It is the strength of the communication channels and the levels of respect, trust and understanding that are wrapped around the needs and contributions of the project participants.

I’ve watched companies with minimal resources score amazing successes.

And I’ve watched companies with unlimited resources create disasters.

It doesn’t matter how enabled you are in terms of capital, resources, knowledge and opportunities.

It matters how much you are enabled in terms of your ability to speak respectfully, to listen carefully and to build towards a win that honors everyone.

And it matters how you balance sufficient ego to create a success with appropriate levels of hubris that allow you to collaborate effectively.

When I look at the broader picture of the challenges that face the world, I have to respectfully disagree with the list that many people reference that includes but is not limited to:

1. Global warming

2. Global pollution

3. Disease and pestilence

4. Poverty

5. War

6. Financial disaster

7. Terrorism

While these are important issues to solve, none of them is the most important one to solve.

The most important one to solve is the need to speak to each other without shouting, listen without interrupting and respect that each side offers a piece in the puzzle.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not a turn-the-cheek-no-matter-what-is-said-or-done kind of person.  Sometimes when someone is in your face screaming some diatribe that we are expected to just accept, we have to push back.  When people do bad things, they need to be held accountable and punished as a result.

If we don’t hold people accountable, bowing down to intellectual bullies or tolerating crimes, we encourage the ignorant or evil to continue doing what they are doing.

However, I see a lot of arguing between good, smart people who are passionately arguing towards a common goal but they are so fixated on labeling the other person that they automatically assume that the other person is wrong.

For example, the “tree hugger” looks at a Wall St. person and blames them and their “corporate greed” for all the world’s problems.  The Wall St. person looks at the “tree huggers” and writes them off as do-nothings who don’t “get it”.

Meanwhile, a solution that will make the world a better place for both sides remains unsolved because they are too busy attacking each other instead of understanding what each side brings to the table in terms of responsibly for the situation and for the solution.

The same could be said for the differences between the left and the right, the atheist and the devout, opposing political parties and any other polarized pairing.

Compromise exists that should be acceptable for everyone as long as we are not intent on proving the other side wrong first.

After all, how would we even know that the other side is wrong if we are shouting so loudly that we can’t even hear them.

Sometimes I wonder if, in the midst of the shouting, we are not actually fighting with the other side but we are in fact locked in a fight with our own ignorance and insecurity.

That’s the fight that must be won before we can solve all the other things in front of us.

In service and servanthood,

Harry