Children: What Memorable Moments Are We Creating For Them?

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. - Charles R. Swindoll

I was sitting with a friend and colleague yesterday when he was suddenly alerted by a text on his phone.  He checked it and proudly shared a photo with me – he was a Grandpa again!

Greg and I grew up in different parts of Eastern Canada at roughly the same time period and his newest addition to the family prompted me to ask him a question:

What memorable moments are we creating for the children of today?

Greg looked at me for a moment before he stated, “That is a VERY good question.  I’m not sure what the answer is.”

The question took us on a trip down memory lane, two guys in their fifties remembering events and actions (mostly funny) that if we ever caught our kids doing when they were younger, we would have had them severely punished for.

Greg shared a story from his youth that I would like to share to make a point.

In grade 3, Greg and his friend Freddy were fishing off a wharf in Nova Scotia.  They had found a bucket of square nails (a nail with a square cross section instead of a round one, common in construction up to the 19th century), which to Greg, didn’t mean anything at the moment.  Greg had been catching perch off the wharf in significant quantities and at one point turned around to see what Freddy was doing.  Freddy had used the nails to affix a hundred or more perch to the side of the fish plant building and it made for quite a mess.  The two hot-footed their way out of the area before they were caught.

We both laughed heartily at the memory, even though we knew inside that if either of us had been the owner of the building at the time, we wouldn’t have been very happy at all.

We exchanged other memories like jumping from ice pan to ice pan in the bay during the winter (known as copying in Newfoundland) and a collection of other things that would be frowned upon now for being too risky, too dangerous or too improper for one reason or another.  Even things like organized sport didn’t exist where I grew up and we were forced to find our own ways to play sports, in the process learning how to be creative, collaborative, resourceful and how to get along (most of the time) without the supervision of adults.  If we went to our parents to complain about someone not playing fairly, we were usually told to go back outside and play and we did, learning how to negotiate, be assertive, be malleable, etc. in solving the problem that we had thought we needed our parents to solve.

We then pondered today’s kids.  What memorable moments do they have?  Are the memorable moments tied up in victories in sports?  Are they tied up in memorable vacations?  Do they have any memories beyond an event in Facebook, getting a new X-Box, watching news media overanalyze a terror event, watching their country tear itself up over gender definitions and the like?

Most (sadly, not all) of my generation didn’t know much about evil in the world (or in our community).  The world contained as much evil then as now but ignorance was bliss for young people then.  We were allowed to be children, without having to be lectured about sex, terrorists or anything else when we were five years old.

And it caused me to wonder:

Are we making our kids grow up and "mature" too early with our noble intention to make them more informed than we were at their age?  Is our effort to make them more aware of the world actually destroying them instead?

Are we making them too aggressive by enrolling them in competitive sports where “winning” is more important than the things I mentioned when we were playing “pick up” games?  Do they really need such structure and discipline so early in Life?

Are we applying too much pressure on them by forcing them to be so deeply aware of the world’s problems at an age where they do not have the tools to understand the problems but they do have the ability to acquire more fears as a result?  Could this be one of many reasons why so many young people today need professional support to cope with Life?

Are we teaching them effective personal finance strategy when we tell (and show) them that buying things on credit (and thus satisfying a need immediately) is just as valid as waiting until one can afford something?

Are we removing too much of their potential to learn creativity by overloading them with forms of entertainment where they acquire some skills but many of the aspects of their imagination are filled in or provided for them?

Are we burdening them with too much hyper-connectivity, where they constantly text, FaceTime, Tweet (or something else) every update to everyone (and receive the same in turn) and where as a result, their brain never gets a chance to be quiet or to contemplate their own Life without being consumed by everyone else’s?

Are we ----- fill in your own question here -----?

The Bottom Line

I know it is easy to relive our memories with a fond sense of nostalgia, with most people preferring to remember good memories while forgetting (intentionally or not) bad memories.

But I wonder what kind of world we are creating for children as we push them to be permanently plugged in and overloaded before their malleable brains have had the opportunity to develop properly.

It is a question that calls for data and not just opinion.

By interesting coincidence, my friend Doug Picirillo posted this tweet today.

What remains of your childish fears and innocent hopes?  Too often, we cling to the former and crush the latter.

Doug’s tweet and the questions that I asked need to be addressed, since the manner in which we prepare our children becomes an investment in the quality of their Life and the type of world we are creating.

Are we, as Doug asked, investing in innocent hopes or do we fall to what some people tell us, that to do so is a sign of weakness or an improper means of preparing our children and so we should crush their innocent hopes as soon as possible to make children “sensible”, “responsible” and “mature”?

Do you know how you are impacting and preparing your children?

Do you know what kind of world your children will create as a result of your choices?

How do you know?

Does it matter?

Why or why not?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS A great musical group from my home province of Newfoundland and Labrador, Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers, once released a song called Shinny on the Ice, describing what it was like to grow up in Newfoundland “way back when”.

The song describes a life that was intentionally simpler.

Yes, evil happened back then and but most of us were blissfully unaware of it.  However, I don’t think I am the worse for not knowing what was going on in the world when I was younger.

Here is the song I referenced (and the lyrics).

Now if you will excuse me, I think I’m going to ask the guys in the office if they want to go play ball in the field for a while.

I will alert my parents to be on standby in case we can’t agree on the rules.

Caring For Alberta’s Foster Kids–Room For Praise & Scorn

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. - Norman Vincent Peale

There has been quite a buzz in Alberta these days regarding recent reports of 145 children who died while in the care of the Alberta Government between 1999 and 2013.  To quote this article in the Edmonton Journal:

Of the 145 children who died in the care of the Alberta government between 1999 and 2013, 53 cases merited a public fatality inquiry or a documented in-depth internal review. When those reviews issued recommendations to prevent future deaths, there was no system in place to track them, or to ensure they were implemented.

Now in fairness to the Alberta Government and to all the agencies involved with this story, taking care of children, especially those who have lived difficult lives, has many complexities including but not limited to:

- the creation of effective programs to help these kids and their families

- the coordination of the many groups that work together to help everyone in need

- the addressing of child and family needs that are often specific to each individual

- finding budgets for such programs in fiscally difficult times

- the protection of the the privacy of the families and children who are involved.

And let me be clear …

THERE ARE MANY HEROES IN THE SYSTEM WHO LOOK AFTER THE CHILDREN THAT SOCIETY MAY APPEAR TO HAVE TURNED ITS BACK ON.

However ……..

I believe that the press conference that Minister Hancock held this morning was a tremendous strategic communication mistake.

Here’s why.

I got the feeling as I listened to the press conference that there was an attempt to claim the title of who was the greater victim – the children or the people who help them.

Some quotes:

[Reporting of these problems] "should not be allowed" – Katherine Jones – Alberta Foster Parent Association

“While it [the story] is true, it is hurtful” - Danica Frazer - Alberta Association of Services for Children and Families Executive

“We don't need to traumatize everyone working in the system” - George Ghitan – Hull Services

The Minister also noted several times that the focus of the media should be on hope and the great results produced and not on the problems that have surfaced.

Where does the media fit into all of this?

The media has been hungry to dig into this story but to be honest, this is what they do for a living.  When they do it for a cause we agree with, we think they are heroes.  When they do it for something we would rather hide, they are villains.

It’s all perspective.

Regardless of the bad news that has surfaced, it is true that the system has thousands of people doing great things for children who really need help and there are many success stories in the system.

Everyone who participates, either offering or receiving help, is a hero in my mind.

But people must never be afraid to embrace the criticism that comes their way or to deflect the criticism by suggesting that they are the victim instead of the real victims … the children and their families.

We must also never get side-tracked from fixing injustices in the world just because someone suggests that to focus on such problems is pessimistic. 

Correcting problems is not the role of a pessimist.

It is the role of an optimist.

Such optimists are also realists since they believe they can make the world a better place by acknowledging and tackling the problems as opposed to the pessimists who throw up their hands and give up or the people who would rather pretend the world has no problems.

And besides, most of us have learned that our greatest growth has come when we tackled our problems directly rather than pretend that they are not there or that they are someone else’s fault or responsibility.

I think now is the time for the heroes in our system (front line workers and the Government) to show us how they are going to make the system better instead of implying in official press conferences that there is a fight to claim the title of “greatest victim”. 

We already know who the real victims are.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum

Much has been made of this cartoon:

I’m sure that it has offended many, including Minister Hancock.

But like many things, expressing an opinion as this artist did has a way of applying a cranial defibrillator that we can claim to be offended or hurt by when we should be using our aroused energy to actually find a solution to the problem at-hand.

VP Debate - No Wonder Children Are Confused

Watching the VP Debate last night confirmed for me why many people think that young people are confused or without direction as they grow older.

If they have any sense of confusion at all, it’s because WE are confusing them.

Throughout the debate, VP Biden was seen as smirking or laughing at Rep. Ryan’s comments and many times interrupted Rep. Ryan, burning up Rep. Ryan’s time or talking over him.

After the debate, Democrat-leaning analysts praised this tactic, saying that his “strong pugnacious style” and his constant interrupting were just the strategy that the Democrats needed.  Apparently this was “Joe being Joe”.

Many Democrat supports lapped it up.  Unfortunately, they only agree with such tactics when it suits their need.  If someone treats them this way in return, such behavior would be considered tactless and disgraceful. 

I thought that holding the title of Vice President of the United States implied that some rules of decorum go with the title.

I guess I was wrong.

So the message to our young people is this:

When someone else is talking about VERY serious matters (or anything at all for that matter), the best way to deal with it is with arrogance, disrespect and dismissal.

Wait … don’t we tell them to treat others with respect, to listen to the opinions of others and to voice any dissension respectfully?

Yes we do.

However, our young people model what we do, not what we say.

Think of some other ways we send mixed messages to our young people.

Message:  Don’t push and shove getting on the school bus otherwise someone may get hurt.

Translation: Ever try getting on the train at Penn Station in NYC during rush hour while being too thin-skinned to assert your place in line?  The phrase “being thrown under the train” comes to mind.

Message: Don’t play on the street when you are younger because a car might hit and kill you.

Translation (20 years later): I don’t know why my child never took risks when he/she got older.  It’s like he/she was afraid to for fear of experiencing some great catastrophe.

Message: Don’t talk to strangers. They are all candy-wielding kidnappers and/or pedophiles.

Translation (20 years later): I don’t know why my child seems unable to build relationships or to trust anyone, especially when it comes to strangers.

Message: Be what you want to be when you grow up (although I will offer you no concrete tools or processes to figure out how to do that since I never figured out how to accomplish it myself).

Translation (20 years later): My child never seemed to find himself/herself with their career/Life and I’m not sure why.

Message: Bullying is wrong.  Let’s pass all kinds of laws showing people how we are united against bullying.

Translation: Ever watch these same lawmakers in a sitting of Congress or Parliament and the level of intimidation and bullying that takes place during “civilized debate”?  Sometimes this happens while young people are sitting in the gallery watching.

While Democrat supporters are praising VP Biden’s disrespectful, flippant tone, I think it sends the wrong message to our young people, especially when discussing important subjects such as the nation’s financial concerns, unemployment statistics, poverty worries and national security and especially when the Democrats keep saying they welcome a bilateral solution.

What we say is important.

What we do is even more important. especially in the eyes of a young person modeling our behavior.

Who we are, what we do and how we do it becomes the template by which the young people of today will run the world of tomorrow.

I’m not certain if that’s something to look forward to or be afraid of.

I guess it depends on the message we send today, doesn’t it?

What message are you sending?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum: An observation from a friend and offered as advice to anyone who resorts to taunting or intimidation when engaged in a debate:

When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.- Proverbs 29:9 NASB

Whether we are the wise man or the foolish one is often easily perceived by others.

We need to make sure our actions are in alignment with the persona we wish to project so that we have some means of directing how we are perceived.

Addendum 2:

Washington Post reporter Dan Zak tweeted the following message during the debate.

Describing a VP candidate as a pervert is an example of where respect-less dialog is taking our society.

I wish some of these people could be as respectful to others as the respect they demand from others.

Creating A Different Kind of Noise

What a cacophony we are bombarded with these days:

• increasing issues regarding global warming
• terrorism
• the Iraq war
• the war in Afghanistan
• coming soon according to some – the war against Pakistan or some other nation that displeases us
• an energy crisis
• a health crisis
• a financial crisis
• a public wave of murder / suicides related to the financial crisis
• swine flu (just when you thought you had reached your saturation point of bad news)
• a level of political correctness so powerful that we can’s say anything that might offend anybody (which means we can say very little)
• a level of political bullying, such that if you voice specific opinions on certain subjects, you are immediately publically vilified (meanwhile we say – it’s a good thing we aren’t as ignorant to the opinions of others as they were in the 15th century).
• an increased sense of paranoia that something or someone is ready to kill us at any moment unless we relinquish our freedom in exchange for security.  Interestingly enough, the people we are relinquishing our freedom to are the people who tell us we are in trouble.
• a litany of misinformation, including the soldiers of Abu Ghraib  prison who were punished as rogues that violated the human rights of Iraqis when we now discover they were acting under orders from the top of the US administration.

Is it any wonder that our minds don’t melt from an overload of such negative information?

I think they have melted somewhat – we just haven’t figured it out yet.  Some people suggest that our minds have melted so badly that we have lost the ability to self diagnose or that we have correctly diagnosed the issues but we are too tired or afraid to do anything.

I don’t believe this to be true – I believe that our passion burns hot and deep.  Many of us just need a little help bringing this burning desire to the surface.

When I write blogs or articles that reference the need to assert our passion more, to love others more, to follow our faith more (however we define it) and to make a greater difference in the world, hundreds of people privately applaud me but most are afraid to do so in public. 

They fear repercussions from family, friends and co-workers.  Some are politicians more focused on being re-elected than doing what they know is the right thing.  As one friend noted – '”Do you realize that your thoughts are needed but not welcome in the circles of authority?”.

How unfortunate.

In a part of the world founded on encouraging an exchange of thoughts (without necessarily having to agree with them), incubating a belief in the “American Dream” (or the Canadian equivalent), being passionate about the things important to us, holding civil and corporate leaders to specific standards of morals and values, and championing rights and freedoms important to our ancestors, it seems to me that we are losing the strength or interest to assert our beliefs, our passions and most importantly, our voice. 

Some of us have become intimidated to the point where many of us (not all, thankfully) fear for our reputation if we publically follow our heart.  Meanwhile, our spirits may feel crushed by the constant bombardment of bad news and we are caught in an internal tug of war, knowing what needs to be done but being afraid to do it.

Sometimes it is difficult to see that in this onslaught of bad news there are passionate people out there making a difference in the areas where we need it most – empowering us to effect positive change for our environment, promoting the health and wellness of people around the planet, building peace within humanity and strengthening the ecological / economical future of our planet.

We should be grateful for these people.

We should find a group that aligns with what we hold to be important for ourselves and our families and join that group.

Groups like Canada’s World, World Vision, Samaritan’s Purse, Oxfam, the Clinton Foundation and others are leading the way to making a difference.

If you don’t know who to speak to, reach out to someone like me – people like me love to connect passionate people with other passionate people.

If you don’t like these organizations, don’t complain about them.  Use your energy to help them improve their offering and execution.  If you feel that you caught in a trap of excessive complaining without action, reach out to this group, A Complaint Free World.  They’ll help you get back on track.

If existing groups still don’t work for you, create a new group that makes a difference.

Whatever you do, find a way to help contribute to the needs of the world.  Don’t wait – many of the challenges on this planet are accelerating and need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

Let’s create a different kind of noise – one built around making a difference instead of focusing on how things are allegedly falling apart.  It would be great if our actions spoke so loudly, that we would not be able to hear each other speak.

Many famous writers and philosophers over the years, going back to biblical times, note that we create what we focus on.

So let’s stop focusing on the end of times and instead, focus on a world filled with people aspiring to make a difference for others.

As the great Louis B. Armstrong sang in “What a Wonderful World”:

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin’.. how do you do
They’re really sayin’......i love you.

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
They’ll learn much more.....than Ill never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

It is indeed a wonderful world.

If we really love our children and our children’s children, we’ll keep it that way.

For those who follow sports, it’s like being up three games to nothing in a best of seven series.

It’s ours to win or lose.

What side do you prefer to be on?

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

Embracing Each Other

I was sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room a couple of days ago and was observing some children playing.  The children were of mixed gender, race, language and potentially religious background.  Here is how their interaction went:

My name is yyy – what’s yours?

My name is zzz – let’s play.

It was as simple as that – authenticity in its purest form.  Once they had some context by which they could name each other, that was all that was important to having an authentic relationship.

As I have been consumed by authenticity lately, I have started a detailed review of my social network, the hundreds of emails I receive daily from this network, the hundreds of invites I receive to participate in events, etc.  While I am grateful for all of this, my recent focus on authenticity has caused me to examine much of this traffic in a closer manner.

Here are some exaggerated snippets:

I am an 18-year old student and life coach.  I believe my 18 years of life have been invaluable and I would like to share this supreme knowledge with you at a discounted monthly rate of $xxxx.  <<yes – some 18-year olds have lived a full live – however ……>>

I am an enlightened life guru with no job or life experience but I would like to show you how the Law of Attraction can earn tons of money for you.  <<meanwhile a background check on the person shows they are bankrupt and the only thing the Law of Attraction is helping them with is making money promoting the Law of Attraction>>

I am an expert on collaboration and believe that we all need to work together to make this world a better place for all.  By the way,  let me tell  you that so and so has a chance to steal some of our market so if we can find any way to discredit or sue him, there’s more money in it for us.  <<I’m sorry, tell me again how this is collaboration>>

I need your help promoting product xyz.  It’s not MLM of any type but you’re at the bottom, I’m at the top and if you put in 80 hours a week, I will get rich.  <<now there’s an incentive>>

How about gems like these?

I serve on the board for corporation xyz and I know the CEO is stealing money, but if I rat on her, people will not hire me for other boards because I will not be perceived as a team player.  <<meanwhile, that person gets paid to make public presentations about the need for transparency, honesty and accountability>>

“We provide a high quality product to the consumer”, quotes a senior executive of a major frozen food manufacturer to me on a plane one afternoon two years ago.  “That being said, I don’t let my kids eat it”. “Why not?”, I ask.  “Because I know what is in that stuff”, is the reply, the speaker oblivious to the disconnect of that statement from his assertion of the high quality of their product.

Authenticity.

I wonder:

• if the fear of being perceived as not being as in control as the next person causes some people to be less than authentic, since we don’t want to be perceived as weak amongst our peers.
• if the fear of expressing our real selves causes us to repackage our knowledge, beliefs and passions into something the masses will agree with (even if this is not in congruence with what is important to us).
• if the fear of appearing to be too normal causes people to elevate their status so as to be far beyond normal (ah, so you’re just an accountant; well, I am Master of the Galaxy – Well, I’m not just an accountant, I am really the Accountant Guru of the Universe – Oh yeah?  Well I am ……).
• if the fear of appearing to not be able to stay caught up (whether it be in knowledge, money, gadgets or other toys) causes us to overspend our resources while lack of authenticity with ourselves prevents us from putting the brakes on this self-destructive behavior.  Don’t forget – whoever dies with the most toys …… is dead.
• if the notion of exposing our heart, mind and spirit to others may also allow others to see our pain and our weaknesses, allowing them to see that we are in fact human.  Since this demonstrates that we are less than perfect, we present a false persona where we never fret, get angry or cry.
• if the fear of exposing others to our personal belief structure, including our belief in God (or other deity important to us), is so strong that we are ashamed to live by the values of our belief structure, fearing ridicule or fearing being ostracized from our peers, clients and others.
• if the fear of failure paralyzes us and prevents us from trying anything, forcing us to rely on someone else to solve our problems (which then creates frustration because they are not doing it fast enough for us).
• if our desire to climb to the top of whatever mountain we are climbing is so strong (probably to beat someone else climbing the same mountain), that we are willing to portray ourselves as something we are not just so that we can accomplish the journey as fast as we can.

I do notice one thing with these fears.  The more inauthentic someone is with themselves and others, the more they resist even discussing stuff like this.  They will even get quite angry!

I wonder why.

All of these fears seem to be creating a lot of baggage in our lives and puts us on an ever-increasingly slippery slope that leaves us exhausted financially, spiritually, physically and emotionally.  Analyze the events that have led up to any significant negative event in world history and somewhere along the way, you will find one or more events that perhaps have been tied to lack of authenticity.

I’m not suggesting that life is so simple that we can easily strip a lot of these layers away and expect to be as authentic as children.  If it were only that simple.

However, I am suggesting that the number of layers of obfuscation and complexity that we have added are not commensurate with the beauty and simplicity of life.

I wonder if we have made life too complicated and then, being inauthentic with ourselves and others, refuse to take any credit for this complexity.

How about a return to some base levels of authenticity?

Hi – my name is Harry.  I don’t want you to know me as a Wall Streeter, a business strategy guy, a networker, a writer, a speaker (or however else you know me).

I am a human being who believes in God, who is awash in gratitude for his family, friends and life experiences, who marvels at the things we do right in the world, weeps at the things we do poorly, marvels at the complexity and simplicity of nature, is amazed by the power of love, aspires to be more patient and wonders when we will finally realize our true gifts and purpose.

That’s all that is important.  That is the real me – the rest are man-made constructs that are not important.

That being said, perhaps that is not important either.  What is important is that I am a human being with unlimited capacity for loving and sharing.

So are you.

My name is Harry. 

What’s your name? 

Let’s play.

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

What Matters

I ran into a lady in the supermarket the other day who was cursing the food manufacturers for giving us so much to choose from that it added frustration to her life. What a dilemma to have.

Her comment, coupled with a powerful Ash Wednesday homily I heard the other day about giving to others got me to thinking about how we choose life priorities.

Imagine 29,000 children, the number that die daily around the world from preventable disease and starvation, standing in front of your home or place of business. As you watch them, they begin to die one by one. You and the people around you are horrified at the sight and look for ways to run to the children, to help them in any way you can. As you hold them, they die in your arms and your heart is filled with anguish as you seek ways to help them. Your adrenalin is pumping through your veins and you will do anything to make a difference - even if you can save only one child.

Now imagine the same scenario but this time you are blindfolded and restrained. You can hear the cries of the children as they die, their final moments filled with suffering and pain. You are told you can't help them and you hear yourself crying out to the children while cursing the people who refuse to allow you to help them. Your emotions are running high because you feel helpless to comfort the afflicted and you weep at the sound of their suffering.

Now imagine a third scenario. The children are still dying but they are not in front of you, so you can't see them or hear them. Perhaps your heart feels a little pain, sadness or pity at the thought of them suffering. Perhaps it doesn't. If it does, it is nowhere near the intensity of the first two scenarios that I described. You may not feel compelled to rush out to find a way to help them in an impactful way or if you do feel compelled, you probably schedule a contribution for some time in the future.

Where is the sense of urgency?

Is it like the old Zen riddle of a tree falling in the forest, where people ask the question "Does a falling tree make any sound if there is no one to hear it"?

Can you hear the sound of children suffering from poverty, disease and malnutrition crying out for help?

Can you hear the sound of battered women crying out for support and justice?

Can you hear the sound of the homeless, crying out for love and shelter?

Why not? To me, it seems that their voices are so loud I can hardly think.

Maybe if no one is around the tree when it falls, perhaps it truly doesn't make a sound.

But we know it does.

By the time you read this blog (assuming 10 minutes to read it), 200 children under the age of five will have died around the world from preventable disease and starvation (that's about 10.5 million children per year). At the same time, 67 women will have been beaten by abusers in the US alone (an estimated 3.9 million victims per year).

While all these things happen, more money will be spent on a cure for baldness and erectile dysfunction than on seeking solutions for the problems that afflict a great number of people around the world.

While it is true that conditions of the poor have improved over the years, they could improve much faster if more of us focus on what really matters.

Do we really know what matters?

We can be like the lady in the supermarket that I referred to earlier, complaining that we have too much to choose from.

We can agonize over the selections on a restaurant menu, wondering if it will be the lamb or the prime rib. During the 15 minutes you contemplate this important decision, 300 children will die of malnutrition, death bringing escape from the cruelty of one meal a day (or less than one meal for many).

We can spend a week wondering what color our next car will be and be in total angst over it, totally consumed by the unfairness of life that we should have so many options to choose from.  200,000 children will die from malnutrition during the week.

We can spend a month or more planning next year's vacation, making sure that every minute of every day is filled with the most bliss possible with the least amount of worry and downtime.  More than 870,000 children will die from starvation and disease during this timeframe.

We can spend a couple of years planning a wedding, knowing that 50% or more of them will fail anyway, making the money and time spent seem to be wasted.  If we take two years, more than 20 million children will die from starvation as we make plans.

Meanwhile, the pressure of these things bring real worry, sleepless nights, confusion and frustration.

How unfair life is, we think.

Meanwhile, the things in life that really matter will continue to not get our attention as much as they should.

The great irony is that much of what we enjoy in the 21st century has been built on the backs of the poor and destitute, either within their own country or after bringing them from one country to another.

Some of us look upon the rest of the world with a sense of "if they would only be more civilized, perhaps we could help them more or they could help themselves in a better way".

Meanwhile inside our own world, as the financial crisis hammers us, we worry about tough decisions before us:

• having to buy less food for entertainment purposes (as opposed to food for nourishment)
• being forced to make our car last another year - "oh the pain of this recession, I really wanted the car with the new satellite radio feature"
• being forced to wait for the $2 million home until the banks loosen up their credit restrictions so that we can max ourselves out - I guess we'll have to suffer through the home we live in although some of us don't know how we'll make do with such a small Jacuzzi
• maybe some of us will have to suffer through the 40 pairs of shoes we own
• what about this golf bag - I can't be seen on the course with this piece of garbage?

Oh, the injustice of it all, we think - why are we suffering like this?

Meanwhile, good people in the western world lose their homes, wonder where the next meal comes from, lose healthcare benefits and unwillingly take a step closer to the way some cultures have lived their lives for centuries.

The point is that you don't have to go far to find people who are in need while we lament the loss of luxury.

If by some stroke of poor luck, we lost our electricity in the western world, think about what would happen here.

• No fuel refining and therefore few usable vehicles once fuel stockpiles run out.
• No heat or light in our homes for most of us.
• Minimal healthcare.
• Minimal clothing manufacturing.
• Minimal food harvesting and distribution.
• Minimal clean water.

As our society sinks down into the depths of our worst nightmares, we would turn to the rest of the world and say "Please help us - kindness and love for fellow man is what is most important in the world.  You can't allow us to suffer like this - it is inhuman and indecent.".

Oh, the wisdom that comes when the shoe is on the other foot.

Indeed.

We can assume that someone else will help them.  If we all assume this, then there are very few people actually helping those in need.

We can say we don't know how to help them. However, we are extremely creative when it comes to solving any other problem that confronts us.

We are always creative when we need to be for the things that are important to us.

The question is .... do we truly know what is important? 

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

The Twenty-First Time

I was listening to a powerful song today by the group Monk and Neagle.  The song, "The Twenty-First Time", describes how the singer routinely walks by a number of people in welfare lines, sleeping in alleys, etc. and intentionally looks away.  Over time he starts to see the same people consistently.  It occurs to him one day that perhaps one of these people he is passing on a regular basis is Jesus Christ who is waiting to see if he will stop and help Him and yet he consistently looks away.

It caused me to think about the people we interact with every day on a cursory level.  I'm not talking about people whose lives are tightly entwined with ours - spouses, children, parents, siblings, business associates, etc. although often times we may be guilty of treating even these people in a casual way.

It's the majority of people we come in contact with in life - the ones we never really get to know or never meet but who we are aware of. 

It's the person who gives us a coffee at the drive-thru window every morning.  It's the person at the supermarket checkout who we make idle chatter with a couple of times per week about the weather, vacation plans and the like.  We never take the time to get to know them.  Why should we bother, we think.  They are just doing their job.

It's the politician that we feel so free to judge, waiting for them to solve every problem in our town, country or world because as we see it, the problems are extremely simple.  If the politician won't solve these problems, we conjecture, they should move over and let someone else do it.  However, we can't get involved because we are too busy.

Maybe it is the homeless person who has set up on a particular street corner.  We notice them as we drive past them, wonder for a moment what their story is and then return our thoughts to what is squeezing us today.  It's a shame the western world allows this, you think, and then your mind moves on to another subject.

It is the people who live in socially-assisted complexes, causing some of us to wonder why they can't get jobs like everyone else.  Meanwhile we are oblivious to their story and have little understanding of how they came to be there.

Perhaps it is the prostitute or the incarcerated individual that we feel so free to judge, forgetting that if we had the same genetics and life experiences, there is a good chance we would be in their shoes and being judged by someone else.

Maybe it's the crying child we see on television in an appeal for money to be sent overseas to helped the diseased and the poverty-stricken.  What a shame we think - we should make it a point to contribute more to causes like that.  Five minutes later, the cause is forgotten as we move on to deal with our own pressures.

Why should we get to know any of these people or get involved, we reason?  They are where they are, that is their business and I am in a hurry and have my own difficulties.  If I take the time to get to know every person, I will not have any time to live my Life Purpose.

Perhaps our Life Purpose is to contribute to their story and allow them to contribute to ours.

Everyone has a story.  We are so consumed writing and living our own story that we forget about the myriad of stories around us.  Many of them are far more powerful than our own but we are so consumed by our own story that we don't take time to notice the stories of others.

Many of the stories are missing a few chapters, though.  The chapters are the ones we are being asked to write, completing the story of someone else or that others are being asked to write to complete ours.

All of our stories are interlinked.  As a society, we raise our selves to new levels or diminish ourselves to new lows based on how we recognize the interdependence of our stories and whether we choose to contribute to the compendium that describes our existence on Earth.

If we increased our contribution to the stories of others by half of one percent, the results would be incredible.  A one percent increase in contribution across the board would produce a profound result.

One half of one percent is less than an hour of time per week.  For many of us who say "we don't have an hour to give", as someone who studies human productivity, I can assure you that many of us have many hours of wasted time on our hands - time that could be recovered if we were honest with ourselves and others about our priorities and how we execute towards our Life purpose.

I would like to offer a challenge to the wonderful readers of my blog.  If you have the courage, put some time on your calendar this week to do one of the following (or come up with one of your own).

1. Stop by a children's cancer clinic and ask to speak to staff, parents or children.  Ask them to tell you stories of courage, hope and love.

2. Reach out to a local prison support group or to a prison itself and speak to someone who can share the backgrounds of some of the prisoners.  Really listen to the life experiences of the people who spend time inside the institutions - prisoner and guard alike.

3. Volunteer to spend a little time in a soup kitchen or food bank and as you share nourishment with others, ask them about their story.  Listen closely - the stories are profound.

4. For those in larger urban centers, if you have not done so recently, spend some time in the more decrepit parts of town.  Take note of what is going on around you, especially when it comes to how nurturing the environment is for children.

5. Speak to a doctor or teacher and ask them to share their story with you - why they chose the profession, why they enjoy it and what presents the greatest challenges.

6. Have an honest dialog with your government representative.  Really get to know his or her world and then ask yourself if you could do better.  If you can, prepare to run for election.

7. Stop to give some food or money to a homeless person and ask them to explain their story.  Open your heart as you speak to them and listen to them.

8. OR - Insert your own challenge here.

Let's not talk about it - let's do it.

If you do it, your story will become permanently changed as others write new chapters in your story in indelible ink.  Hopefully, you will have an opportunity to do the same in their story.

If you do it, your Life Purpose may either become more solid, may change slightly or may become rewritten.

Each person in the world, including ourselves, can change the world with unique ideas, passion, skills, talents and knowledge.

Maybe others are waiting for us to finish a chapter or two so that they can become empowered to make a greater difference to themselves, their families and the world.

Maybe we are waiting for them to do the same for us.

What are we really waiting for?

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

Wanted to give to a good home - love

A group of us are in the process of putting the finishing touches on a Christmas-sharing project whereby we collect gifts for battered mothers and their children and donate them to a local women's center.  This center provides them to the mother who wraps the gifts and presents them to her children on Christmas Day.  We never meet the mothers or their children.  For their security and safety, their identities are obscured from us.

As we work through the logistics of organizing our piece of the drive again this year, I am struck by the phenomenal generosity of people even in these alleged times of "gloom, doom and despair".  The number of families and individuals that we will touch this year is triple that of last year's result.

Maybe this "giving to a good cause" is a simple manifestation of generosity. 

Maybe.

I think it is more than that.

I think it is love - pure, unadulterated, unselfish, no-strings-attached love. 

It is love for a fellow human being who has been through the wringer of life and needs a little help.

It is love for someone who is down on their luck and needs a helping hand to get back on their feet. 

It is love for someone who needs to know that someone out there cares for them. 

It is love for a child that we may never meet, who will grow up and express their love in their generosity to others.

It is love that, once planted, nurtured and growing in someone who needs it, will ultimately be passed on to someone else at some point.

My oldest son said something today that ordinarily would have been shrugged off as a funny comment but today had some poignancy to it.

He said that my ability and strong desire to navigate through humanity and network like crazy creeps him out.  After all, my LinkedIn network alone has 11 million people in it.  I laughed and said that it was my job to network with people, to increase the potential for success in the different projects that I am engaged in.

In thinking about this later and feeling overwhelmed with gratitude to all the wonderful people engaged in our projects (and for all the people engaged in similar projects), I got to thinking.

Maybe I justify being a consummate networker (I am called "the Link" in New York City) by saying I need to network in order to maximize the potential for success in my projects.

Maybe, just maybe, I am a consummate networker because it provides me with the honor and privilege of connecting with wonderful, generous, unselfish people in the world, giving them another outlet to express their gratitude and their love for others.

Maybe.

I do know this.  I have a reputation in New York City as being "the tough guy who gets stuff done with singular, maniacal focus".  So if my real purpose is to network so that we can create more opportunities for sharing and expressing our love for others, then we will have to keep my real purpose a secret. 

Just between you and I.

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

People I am Grateful For - The Nominees Are

Some time ago, my friend Tim Sanders, author of incredible books such as "Love is the Killer App", "The Likeability Factor" and his current phenomenal book "Saving the World at Work - What Companies and Individuals Can Do to Go Beyond Making a Profit to Making a Difference" suggested an idea that I still practice although today I intend to practice it in a different way.  On a side note, I will be blogging about Tim's books shortly, including his most recent one.

Tim suggested that every Monday, we brighten the days of three people by reaching out to them and expressing thanks for who they are and the difference they have made.

While I do this every Monday, I thought I would do it publicly today to encourage others to do the same.

As many of you know, I am eternally grateful for every experience in my Life (good and bad) and for every person who has played a role in my Life, whether it is a role of some measurable duration or the passing stranger who gave me a smile that brightened my day just when I needed it.

For all of you who are reading this, I thank you for providing the vivid color in the rich tapestry of Life that I am experiencing.  For my family, I am ALWAYS grateful to be so blessed.  I also thank God for providing me with the opportunity to learn and experience Life on an incredible level.

I am surrounded by incredible people who live to give, to provide to others who may not have the strength or the ability to provide for themselves.

So I am going to pick three of them right now and publicly thank them for their service and their friendship.  If you are not one of the three today, don't worry.  You have a place in my heart and there's lots of time to be promoted.  :-)

So in no particular order, the nominees are:

John Clause - Vice President of Development - World Vision (US)

I know this bio is slightly dated, but from the World Vision website:

John Clause is the Senior Director of the New York office (editor note: now VP of Development - Eastern Region) of World Vision. John oversees development, church relationships, and strategic programs in the New York City area, including World Vision's response to the September 11th disaster. John first joined World Vision in February 1997 as Director of Development for the Greater New York area, and served as Northeast US Development Manager from 1998-2001.

I know John personally as an incredible friend, as a man with a faith deeply rooted in God and a man called to serve humanity in any way he can.  He is an incredible model human being who gives selflessly around the clock.

Thank you, John, for your friendship and for your dedication to others.

If I may put in a shameless plug on John's behalf, there are great opportunities to make a difference in the life of a child this Christmas.  Check out the World Vision website to see how you can make a difference.

Jim Loscheider - Vice President of Donor Ministries - Samaritan's Purse

Samaritan's Purse is committed to making a difference in the lives of children all around the world.  Many of you participate in a program at this time of year known as Operation Christmas Child or as some call it, "the Christmas shoe box program".

Like John, Jim has dedicated his life to making a difference in the lives of children who are suffering from disease, neglect, malnutrition and disease.  He is an incredible friend with an incredible heart.  His deep faith calls him to serve others and he does with joy and gratitude.

His passion to make a difference and his sense of humility make him someone worth modeling.

I'd like to put a shameless plug in for his organization as well.  Christmas is a great time to make a difference in the lives of children around the world.  Check out the Samaritan's Purse website to see how you as an individual or as a group of friends can make a difference in the lives of children all around the world.

Charmaine Davidge and team - St. John's Status of Women Council and Women's Centre

The St. John's Status of Women Council and Women's Centre (SJSWC) is committed to helping women who are often the silent victims in today's society.  They support women and their children who have been the victims of abuse, battery and abandonment.  They help these women rediscover their sense of purpose and self-worth and provide assistance in finding the help they need to get back on their feet.

Female abuse is far more prevalent in western society than it should be and more than we care to admit.  Someone we know and love may be the victim of such abuse right now and we may not be aware of it.  Groups like the SJSWC are a voice for women and a pillar of strength for women who need help.

Charmaine and her team see things every day that would stagger us and yet their commitment and love for the women they serve keeps them moving forward.  They are model human beings who embrace the pain of others so that the pain may be eased - we should follow their model.

I'm sure each of you has a local women's shelter or center that would really appreciate your support and help this Christmas.  Help those who think they have been forgotten or are no longer loved and reach out to a center this Christmas.  Your heart will be glad that you did.

To John, Jim and Charmaine, I thank you for your friendship, your dedication and your unselfish service to others. 

We can learn much from your service.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

How Will You Remember Me .....

.... and how will I remember you?

When our end of days has come, will we remember each other:

• for having given our best for our families, providing for their current and future needs as best as we can?
• for taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, knowing that many people rely on us (including many we will never meet)?
• for having gone above and beyond for our employers (or our own companies if we are at the top)?
• for doing our best to empower our employees and professional peers, enabling them to plug their passion, purpose, skills, strengths and talents into their work, to produce the best result possible?
• for accepting that we all make mistakes?

Will we applaud each other:

• for being role models for our greatest investment of all - our children?
• for investing in our community, our state or province and our country, taking responsibility for the good and the bad and working together to fix that which needs fixing while enhancing that which is already great?
• for seeing the positive in everyone?
• for making a difference in this world, for those who are starving, thirsty, sick, impoverished, destitute, homeless or challenged in other ways?
• for taking care of those we don't know and may never meet?
• for random acts of kindness, the kind that inspire others to make a difference?
• for keeping the Earth in mind as we do what we can to take care of the miraculous life raft that carries us through this incredible universe?

Will we think fondly of each other:

• for doing our best to keep our outlook on life (and the outlook of others) on the positive side, especially when times get tough?
• for reaching out to someone, not only when they need it but often times in anticipation that they would appreciate some unrequested support?
• for doing our best to love everyone, even those that anger us, drive us crazy or disappoint us (recognizing that we do the same to others)?
• for filling our days with positive action to make a difference and not just wishful thinking that we will get to it someday?
• for dropping a coin in the cup of a beggar, someone who may be a descendant of yours or mine?
• for going for the brass ring, seizing a life of excitement, challenge, risk and fulfillment and not just a life of indifference and unrealized dreams?

Will we be proud of each other:

• for being who we want to be and not what others want us to be?
• for being brave and courageous in our quest to find and fulfill our purpose and passion on Earth?
• for taking a stand for what we believe to be right?
• for standing firm in our faith and our beliefs, no matter what the odds?
• for being known as someone that could always be counted on?
• for being the person who always brought sunshine into someone's day instead of darkness?
• for living a life of humility and service to others?

Will we support each other:

• for being the cheerleader who always encouraged others to be and do the best that they can?
• for laughing loudly(and often)?
• for crying when we need to and not being embarrassed by it?
• for promoting a sense of urgency around appreciating everything that Life offers?
• For cutting people a little slack when we see they are doing their best?
• For providing guidance when people could use a little direction?
• for loving ourselves and recognizing that we are a product of our genetics, our life experiences, our faith, our calling and God's Purpose for us - we are living miracles who are to love and be loved unconditionally?
• for not being afraid to say "I love you" to anyone and mean it?

Will we be grateful for ourselves, for others and for the incredible experiences of Life (instead of judging Life as a collection of good and bad)?

The game of Life is the one game where no one gets out alive.

At some point, one of us will stand before a memorial to the other.

How are you being remembered?

Harry

"Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love." - 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NKJV)

How We Live

One of my things that I constantly ask myself is "am I living life to my fullest?".  Like all of us, I have my share of doubts as to whether or not I am living life to its fullest and during those times when I know I am not living life to its maximum, I explore what it is that holds me back.

About a year ago, I became familiar with the following song by the fabulous group Point of Grace (http://www.pointofgrace.net/index.html).   The title song has an incredibly powerful video that I want to share with you.  I'm sure you will find it as moving as I did and perhaps may encourage you to live a live of "no limits".

The video can be found here.

By the same token, many of us have experienced excitement and heartbreak in our own youth or while experiencing the youth of our children.

Many of us have also witnessed (and in some cases experienced) the pain of being left out or discarded as we became stereotyped in one form of another.  What many people don't realize is how we cripple people's futures by stereotyping them early or by forcing them to adapt to what we believe their strengths "should be".  Perhaps you are one of those people who was told you didn't fit into the "definition of normal" and thus you were forced to change to fit someone else's definition of ideal.

Many years ago, a short story named "Animal School" was written that compared many of the children that we consider troublemakers to different types of animals.  The story of different animals attempting to learn in "Animal School" is a powerful one that forces us to reconsider why each child is a unique gift and miracle and how they must be cherished and not be forced to change.

The most powerful presentation of this story can be found here.  It is hosted by Raising Small Souls (http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com).    Take a moment to watch this video and check out the web site.  The web site contains a lot of powerful, supporting material to help all of us be better parents (and perhaps help us understand the childhood we experienced).

As you watch the video, I wonder how many of you will find yourself associating certain people in your past (or your present) with different animals in the video. 

To your success as parents.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

Being Ourselves (or Lessons from a Radical Raisin)

This year, I am the assistant coach for an under-five soccer team.  They are delightful to watch, whether it's the look on their face as they grasp a new soccer concept, the laughter as they play tag when the play has moved up the field, the look of wonder as they scrutinize a bug on the field (oblivious to the game going on around them), the intense look of concentration  as they race to catch up to a teammate or opponent or the devious laughter as they break rank during a drill, openly delighted that they are giving the coaching staff everything they can handle.

When they are tired, they say they are tired.  When they don't like something said or done to them by a teammate or an opponent, they express their discontent (verbally or otherwise).  When they need Mommy or Daddy, they walk off the field, even when they are the last defense between an opponent racing towards them and the goal they are defending.

They are, in essence, the human spirit in perfection - self assured (most times), focused on what is important (in their mind), able to do what they need to do and doing it when they want to do it.  Their needs are simple and yet profound in their simplicity.  We as adults naively believe that we have much to teach them but I wonder if the roles of teacher and student are actually reversed.

There is much we adults can learn from their openness and honesty.  We as adults spend a good bit of our time consumed by what someone else will think about what we did or didn't do, said or didn't say, what someone else requires at the sacrifice of our own needs, etc.  In doing so, we create a lot of excess pressure in our own lives and in turn, strain relationships by avoiding conversations with others; conversations that could strengthen relationships by building them upon honesty, trust and openness rather than building them upon compromise, avoidance and excessive sacrifice with no win-win in sight. 

We miss many opportunities to enjoy the moment because we are too focused on worrying about what everyone else needs instead of answering the call for our own needs and interests.  By constantly avoiding that which we feel is our purpose or passion (for the sake of not offending or disappointing someone else) we miss many opportunities to bring phenomenal success, happiness and fulfillment in our lives.

So here we are at the beginning of another soccer season, parents and kids alike excited about having fun, making friends and acquiring new skills.  As an assistant coach, I also look forward to having fun, making new friends and watching the kids learn.  More importantly, I look forward to the lessons I will learn from these kids.  What they teach us is in many ways, far more profound than what we believe we are teaching them.  Let's be mindful of the big lessons from the small things in life.

Let's go Raisins!

Yours in service and servanthood.

Harry

In admiration of .... our children

I wonder how often we sit down and actually assess the incredible miracles that are represented by our children. When we make a conscious effort to reflect upon the gifts and talents of our children, we realize all the more how incredible they really are.

Today, I found myself alone at one point and being totally immersed in gratitude for all my children, especially today for my oldest. I'm going to embarrass him right now with a public indulgence of what he means to me.

My son, Harry (aka Spud):

1. Amazed doctors during his delivery, by smiling at me, reaching up to me and holding my pinky finger as we walked from the delivery room to the nursery room. The staff had never seen a child so aware of himself at birth.
2. Filled me with such amazement in his first three years with his vocabulary and intelligence. At the age of three, he asked his pre-school teacher if she knew what a cornucopia was and when she indicated she didn't know, spelled it for her and explained that it meant "horn of plenty".
3. Choked me with pride as I filmed him climbing onto the bus for his first day of school.
4. Provided all of us with a great laugh one day during a soccer game when, after the play had moved into the opponent's zone, left Spud back by his goal, casually cart wheeling up the field without a care in the world and oblivious to the game.
5. Loved bedtime stories. I often worked on my stamp collection by his bed at night until he fell asleep.
6. Was, from an early age, incredibly talented at beating any computer game out there. Mario Kart, Bomberman and 1080 were by far our favorites to play together and we sure got our money's worth out of them. He liked to fall asleep to the soundtracks to some of these games, especially the soundtrack to Zelda. When I hear the music now, it takes me back instantly to his youth.
7. Loved sitting with me to watch Sponge Bob Squarepants, Ren and Stimpy and other shows like them on TV.
8. Touched my heart deeply when one of his early pieces of art in school was transferred to a "baseball cap for Daddy". I still have the cap and the original piece of art has a place of honor on my wall. The tools he bought for me at a school-sponsored Christmas bazaar, that came in a little car-shaped carrying case and for which he was so proud of finding, are something I see everyday in my garage, as is the wooden saw he bought for me that says "Daddy's Workshop".
9. Blew my mind when he created his first website at the age of seven. I still have the website and I'm thinking of posting it on this website for fun.
10. Amazes me now with his incredible grasp of the arts, including music, computer-driven art, website development, etc. He is so much more adept at these things than I ever was.
11. Made me feel so proud when I heard what his year-end high school test results were this year, in some cases walking in cold and scoring the highest score in the school's history. His intelligence far outstrips his fathers'.
12. Impresses me that at the age of 17, feels so comfortable traveling into New York City and exploring it on his own. When I was 17, I was still getting used to having the freedom of exploring a town of 100,000.
13. Has experienced so much in his 17 years, having collected far more incredible experiences than I did by the time I was 17. These events, including 9/11 as well as many positive ones, have given him far greater life experience than I had by the time I was 25! I stand in amazement when I think what such life experiences will produce in his adult life.
14. Was such a great little guy to play football catch in the street with when he was eight years old.
15. Was an incredible stuntman, always setting up ramps to jump with his bicycle. He was never seriously hurt.
16. Is incredibly creative in fashion, including the many interesting colors he has worn his hair. I can only faintly remember having hair. :-)
17. Is more plugged into his passions at the age of 17 then I was when I was 30.
18. Was considered to teach first year university students how to program websites and was invited to maintain his school's website - when he was twelve. I would have been petrified.
19. Has traveled internationally by himself at the age of 15. I didn't do that until I was 24.
20. Brought tears of joy and pride to my eyes when, at the age of 11, attended a summer theater program and then performed Broadway songs during the shows that followed. I wouldn't have had the courage (and definitely didn't have the talent) at such an age.
21. Knows more uses of technology than his father - and his father does it for a living.
22. Knows more about what he wants to do in life then I did at his age.

There is so much more I could write. Your gifts to me have been unlimited, the memories to date are treasured in my heart and my growth because of you being in my life is immeasurable. Because of you, I have discovered strengths I never thought I had and I have learned about parts of me that were in desperate need for growth. That growth continues to this day and will until my final days. As I wrote to my father once in a Father's Day card, I didn't know what it was to be a father until I became one.

I am very proud of you, Spud. I am amazed at your talent, blown away by your knowledge and stand in awe at your potential. You are a dream child and I am proud to be your dad.

Thank you for making me a better person and for bringing joy and pride to my life.

Love,

Dad