Calgary Airport–The Power of a Smile

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles. - William Hazlitt

My insane personal and professional schedule brought me to Calgary Airport today and at one point, reflecting on things that I had read, written and spoken about, I found myself sitting in a nice comfy chair in Banff Hall between Starbucks and the Era kiosk.

On the other side of the security glass in front of me, electric cars whizzed back and forth, carrying a lot of people from one end of the airport to the other.  Most of the occupants were unsmiling, looking tense, exhausted, confused, distracted, angry or heavily focused on “something”.

When we are in an airport, we often forget the incredible combination of Life circumstances that have come together within one building – people on their way to or from job interviews, funerals, family reunions, vacations, meetings, successes, failures and the like.

Travel can be …. well …. exhausting, frustrating and even frightening for some.  Most of us just need to get where we’re going as fast as we can get there.

And so as I watched the electric cars zoom back and forth, I turned towards my colleague and said “someone needs to wave and smile at these people and break them out of whatever trance they’re in.”

My colleague said “sure” and as the next car went by, we waved.

The people looked at us awkwardly and one person did a half-wave.

Undeterred, when the next car went by, we waved again and some of the people waved back.

By the time we were a dozen cars into our little wave-fest, even the drivers were waving back with gusto and large smiles.

Somewhere in the love-fest that ensued, the drivers must have told the passengers to anticipate this because as the cars approached our location, the drivers and passengers began to smile and wave at us before we had a chance to wave at them first.

We had fun for quite a while before Life responsibilities drew us away.

As my colleague and I walked away, I looked over my shoulder and I could see the drivers looking for us as they drove by the now empty chairs.

My colleague and I joked that a lot of people were wondering who “the two goofs” were in the chairs, waving and smiling at people.  No doubt, in some corner of the world later tonight, someone may reflect on the difference a smile made, offered or returned and someone may share a laugh with friends or family when they arrive at their destination.

And as I thought about this, something occurred to me.

For every wave and smile I sent, I received 5-10 in return.

So maybe (and here’s a confession here – don’t tell anyone), just maybe, I suggested the wave-fest somehow knowing that I would get a lot of love in return.  After all, in the middle of my own cross-country move and large business deals, a little love never goes astray, right?

But don’t tell anyone I told you that.

After all, we tough guys have a reputation to uphold.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS Here’s a suggestion for Calgary Airport Authority.  Place a sign there telling people if they sit in those chairs, that it is a mandatory “wave and smile zone” for people on the other size of the glass.  You never know the impact it will have on both the giver and the recipient …. and the people who are observing both. 

It’s also a great promotion for the Calgary Airport (which has an amazing new international terminal if I may toss in a free plug for them).

I also hope that the Calgary Airport Authority reaches out to the drivers of those cars to thank them – they made a lot of people very happy today.

They may have even changed a Life.

We’ve got enough examples of hate being spread around the world these days.

Let’s find ways to spread a little love while we still can.

It matters.

How Was Your Day?

One question that is used a lot that I really have difficulty answering is the question “how was your day?”.  In truth, I sometimes feel agitated as I attempt to come up with an answer to the question even though I know the querent means well.

I will use an extreme example to explain why.

On one particular Tuesday, I said goodbye to my son at the train station as I prepared for my daily commute.  The sun was shining, the trains were on time, the train connections were dead-on and I got into NYC ahead of schedule.

How was my day so far?

Blessed.

As I walked to my office on Madison Avenue, the air was fresh (as fresh as it gets in NYC), people were smiling and I thought “A day doesn’t get more beautiful than this”.

How was my day so far?

Filled with gratitude.

An hour later, a sequence of events transpired that left me, my colleagues and the whole city in shock.

How was my day so far?

Numbing.

An hour after that, events continued to escalate and it looked like many of us were in physical danger.

How was my day so far?

Frightening.

As the events of the day sank in and we realized the losses that so many of us had endured, we realized our lives would never be the same again.

How was my day so far?

Filled with grief.

As the day wore on and the reality of who had conspired to create this day for us became clear, many of us began to feel something else.

How was my day so far?

Filled with anger.

And as I finally made it home and was able to reach out to people to tell them I was ok, I was overcome with a different feeling.

How was my day so far?

I was filled with gratitude for being alive.

I was exhausted.

And I wept.

It was 9/11.

So …. how was my day?

Our day cannot be described in one or two words

When people ask “how was your day?”, they are asking us to net out the ups and the downs of our day into a generalized description that doesn’t really speak to the rich experience of Life that is a typical day for many of us.

But if we try to go into any level of detail to explain the day, many people are so busy (or so self-absorbed) that they would prefer a quick answer, which brings me back to the previous paragraph.

And unfortunately, too many people’s lives are so strained that the negative events of the day seem to outweigh the positive ones no matter how many positive ones were experienced.

An extreme example

Now in truth, my 9/11 example is an extreme one and it is impossible to look back on it to see the positives of that day.  Many of us have had days where the negative events were so large that they blew the positive ones away (and vice versa if we are fortunate).

But as I lived the day, despite the difficult things that were being experienced, there were little nuggets to hold onto also … nuggets such as love, gratitude, hope and resilience.

The day simply …… was.

Moving forward, as each day ends for me I am grateful for what the day brought, for the gifts of love, happiness, elation and overcoming, for the mysteries that remain unsolved and for the difficulties that ultimately will make me stronger (even if I don’t believe it for the moment).

And so if you ask me how my day was, I will tell you simply that it was …. and that I was grateful to be on the top side of the turf to experience it.

To net out the ups and downs to a simple expression or a single word would not give it the justice it deserves nor would it adequately encapsulate the richness of the experience of the day.

On the flip side, to recap our day in the detail that it deserves might take as long as it took to experience it in the first place. :-)

So if you want or need to ask someone how their day was, consider asking them how they are feeling instead or if there is anything you can do for them.

Listen to the answer, no matter how long, good or bad.

And then do something …. if the answer calls for it.

Create a great day, because merely having one is too passive an experience. 

In service and servanthood,

Harry