If You Could Have One Question Answered, What Would It Be?

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. - H. L. Hunt

Indeed, this life is a test. It is a test of many things - of our convictions and priorities, our faith and our faithfulness, our patience and our resilience, and in the end, our ultimate desires. - Sheri L. Dew

The #1206 “fiction” series continues …

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In restaurants, coffee shops, parks and other public places around the world, a tall, nondescript man sought out people sitting alone, walked up to them and asked each of them the same question in their native language:

May I join you?

Some said “no”, some shook their heads without saying anything but many invited the man to sit down with a gesture, a simple acknowledgement or an equivalent response.

The exchange between the man and the person sitting alone began the same way for everyone he approached, with the man smiling at the other person before saying, “My name is Gabriel.  What is yours?”

In a restaurant in New York City, the woman sitting at the table replied that her name was Abigail.

“I am pleased to meet you, Abigail”, replied Gabriel.  After exchanging some initial pleasantries, he paused, looked her intently and directly in the eye and asked, “If you had one question and one question only that you would like answered, what would it be?”

Abigail paused for a moment before answering.  “I would want to know why my child died and was taken from me”, she said, her eyes misting up as she answered.

“Interesting”, replied Gabriel, “And what would you do if you were provided with the answer?  What if I could guarantee an answer for you?”

Abigail paused for a moment, frowned in thought and then said, “That’s a good question.  I’m not sure.  I don’t even know if I would even want or like the answer.”

Gabriel nodded in acknowledgement before asking her, “What would you be willing to do or to sacrifice in order to obtain an answer to this question?  Or in other words, how badly do you want an answer at all?”

“Wow”, Abigail replied, “these are also good questions.  I don’t know the answers to those off the top of my head.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she reflected on the questions the stranger was asking her.

“Why are you crying?”, asked Gabriel, frowning slightly in concern.

Abigail shrugged and then shook her head in silence.

Gabriel nodded slightly, accepting that his questions had probably reintroduced some painful memories for her.

After pausing for a moment, he looked at her and asked “Do you not know what you would be willing to give for an answer to your question, Abigail?”

“I have no idea”, replied Abigail.

“Perhaps this suggests that you don’t want the answer bad enough”, said Gabriel gently, “and since you therefore can’t put a value on the answer, you don’t know what you would be willing to pay to obtain it.”

“I don’t know”, replied Abigail, disagreeing with his suggestion, “Maybe the question has no answer that is worth obtaining or has no value that can be determined.”

“I disagree”, responded Gabriel, “Every question and answer has a value and a cost.  Knowing what we are willing to give up to obtain the answer is what determines the value of it and the effort required to get it.”

He paused before continuing.

“Maybe if you can’t decide what you would be willing to trade to obtain the answer, that you may have asked the wrong question”, he suggested, “I will ask you again - if you had one question and one question only that you would like answered, what would it be?”

Abigail thought deeply on the question before replying softly.  “I don’t know”, she said quietly.

“Few people know what question to ask or they are afraid to ask their question”, said Gabriel,  “However, it is curious that almost everyone I ask this question of asks a question about their past and not their future. I find that interesting.  Don’t you?”

“Why is that interesting?”, she asked.

“Well”, he replied, “it means that we have many questions about out past and few of our future.  We seem to prefer to focus on potential regrets or mistakes from our past while we either fear our future or feel that we cannot or should not ask about it for some reason.”

Abigail listened intently but said nothing.

Gabriel continued.  “If we focus on our past”, he mused, “instead of our future, how do we know that we are focusing on what matters in our lives – the things that have yet to be that will leverage the potential that is contained within us?”

“Maybe”, countered Abigail, “that all questions have no value.  How can you put value on a question like mine?”

Gabriel took the glass of water on Abigail’s table and placed it in front of her.

“How much would you pay for this glass of water?”, he asked.

“I dunno”, shrugged Abigail, “a dollar, maybe two.”

“Fair enough”, replied Gabriel, “Now imagine that this is the only glass of water for a thousand miles in any direction.  Now how much are you willing to pay for it?”

Abigail’s face lit up.  “I get it”, she said, “All questions do have an answer and the cost of obtaining the answer is commensurate with the value the answer represents to each of us.”

“Correct”, Gabriel said, smiling, “There is always an answer and there is always a price to pay for obtaining it.  How much we are willing to pay for that answer is determined by how badly we want or need it.  The question is only unanswerable if we don’t know how badly we want the answer in the first place.”

“So”, he continued, “Do you know what question you would ask now?”

“I do”, asserted Abigail.

“Good”, replied Gabriel, “Do you know what you are willing to pay for it?”

Abigail paused, sighed and then shook her head sadly.

“Until you know that”, replied Gabriel, “the answer to your question will continue to elude you.”

Gabriel stood up from the table and touched her shoulder gently.

“When you know what you are willing to pay for the answer”, he said, “I will return.”

He turned and strode out of the restaurant …. as he did in numerous restaurants, coffee shops and parks around the world … leaving millions of people reflecting on “the question”.

To be continued.

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© 2015 – Harry Tucker – All Rights Reserved

Background

I have always been fascinated by how people make choices in their lives.  Some claim to have planned their entire Life out while others prefer to live their Life spontaneously.

Some claim the destination in Life is what matters while others claim that the journey is what matters most.

The reality is that there is no one size fits all model.

However, what is universally true is that if we don’t know what our potential represents and don’t care where we are going, then we will not use our gifts to our ultimate potential and we will have no say in the direction of our lives.  This is true whether we are twenty-something or ninety-something.

It also brings another interesting thought to mind:

What would we be willing to pay for a question whose answer is not given to us until we have paid the price for it considering that:

1. Whether or not we liked what we paid commensurate with what we received would be irrelevant.

2. It may be too late for a second question / answer.

How would you answer the question that Gabriel was asking?

What are you willing to pay to obtain an answer?

Are the question and answer important enough to meet up to your potential or is it based on the trite, the mundane and the unimportant in the grand scheme of your Life?

What do your answers tell you?

What should you do next?

How do you know?

Alternate Ending

I mused about Gabriel asking Abigail what she wanted and she would have replied that she wanted to know how much longer she would have with her partner and that she would give anything for the answer.  Gabriel would have replied that the answer was an hour, that the cost of the answer was her partner’s Life (the ultimate cost since she said “anything”) and this would have stressed Abigail to the point where she would not have spent the last hour with her partner to the best of their potential because of sadness and worry.

Maybe this is what we fear – that knowing our future would not empower us to live better lives but instead would cripple us.

Would you want to know the answer to the question?

Are you sure?

Series Origin

This series, a departure from my usual musings, is inspired as a result of conversations with former senior advisors to multiple Presidents of the United States, senior officers in the US Military and other interesting folks as well as my own professional background as a Wall St. / Fortune 25 strategy and large-scale technology architect.

While this musing is just “fiction” and a departure from my musings on technology, strategy, politics and society, as a strategy guy, I do everything for a reason and with a measurable outcome in mind. :-)

This “fictional” musing is a continuation of the #1206 series noted here.

The Puzzle of Purpose

To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Success demands singleness of purpose. - Vince Lombardi

In an interaction with someone the other day (whom I will identify as “S”) they seemed intrigued with how I explored problems.  At one point, “S” noticed something else and felt prompted to ask “Do you analyze everyone you speak with?”

My answer was “yes”.

Here’s why.

Much can be said about where a person is going and how they are getting there by understanding who they are and where they came from.  Their character and values are revealed when one examines this and the opportunity to create a relationship that matters, personal or professional, can be easily discerned from such an examination.

I see each of our lives as a puzzle with each of those puzzles being a subset of a larger puzzle.

For example, in analyzing myself, my primary puzzle looks like this:

My upbringing, the culture I experienced growing up in Newfoundland, my vocation and where I chose to live out a major piece of that vocation form the primary pillars that molded me.

As a result of those four pillars and of the many attributes that have developed as a result, the four attributes that stand out to others when asked are my sense of passion, empathy, insight and strategy, each being sharpened as a result of the primary pillars.  My apologies to the many who voted for “audacious”, “creative”, “respectful”, “collaborative” or “direct” – it throws the symmetry of my picture off. This is only the primary puzzle, after all. :-)

How I live my Life is pretty easy to discern and my actions are pretty easy to predict as a result of understanding the pieces.  Anyone who takes the time to understand my puzzle knows exactly what an interaction with me will feel and look like.

This is obviously a gross oversimplification of who I am but the point is this.

Too many people don’t take the time to understand what makes up their puzzle or they know what it looks like but they choose to do something else anyway, fighting the natural gifts and strengths that have developed as the pieces of their puzzle fell into place.

They also don’t take the time to understand the puzzle that makes up the people they interact with, either finding connection points or being audacious enough to move on if there are no obvious linkages.

As a result, their Life languishes including their personal and professional relationships.

It is only when people understand and embrace their puzzle and the puzzles of others that they discover that their puzzle looks more like this (using mine as an example):

…. ready to interlock with the puzzles of others with the intention of making the final picture “on the box cover” that much more incredible.

Do you know what your puzzle looks like?

Are there pieces missing or remaining to be shaped?

Do you embrace your puzzle or do you resist it ?

Do you understand the puzzles of others?

Do you strive to make your puzzle fit into the Master Puzzle?

Are you sure?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Inspired by “S”.  Thank you for asking the question.

Addendum

I was texted a comment on this blog that I felt compelled to share.  Quoting:

But growth comes with one very important element …. love.  That’s the other piece that should appear throughout our Life puzzle.  For without love, there would be no joy and without joy, our lives would be flat.  Just like the cardboard of the puzzle pieces themselves.

Now why didn’t I think of that? ;-)

Thanks to V. for the observation.

The Danger of Familiarity

I was speaking to a colleague this morning, recommending some places of interest, when he made an interesting observation.

“How could you know about these places after being here for such a short period of time.  I’ve been here for twenty years and I’ve never heard of them.  In fact, I drive past some of them every day and have never noticed them.”

I didn’t have an answer for him then but upon reflection, I believe I have an answer for him now.

My answer is based on the comfort and danger of familiarity.

The joy of exploring something new

Many of us have experienced the excitement (and scariness) of moving to a brand new city.  When we know nothing of a place that is new to us, everything is  fresh and exciting (even if it seems intimidating).  We want to know as much as we can, whether it is how to get around easily, how to find specific points of interest, how to discover the gifts that the new place offers, what its history is, etc.  Having grown up in a town of about 2,000 people, I still remember the first day I stepped onto 7th Ave in New York and thought “Wow …. now what?”.

Once we have been there for a while, we settle into a routine.  We know how to get from point A to point B as efficiently as possible, we have identified our favorite places and we settle into a routine that can be easily misinterpreted as living on autopilot.

Maybe it’s not a misinterpretation.

Once this happens, the gifts of the place start to become hidden from us or they continue to exist in plain sight but we don’t see them as we execute the mundane routine that is our lives.

Even I must plead guilty to times when the most adventure I experienced in a city occurred after I moved from the city and visited it some time later as a tourist.

The same is true about relationships

I think this is often one of the reasons why professional and personal relationships die.  How many times does a relationship die when one side decides that the relationship is not “fresh” or “exciting” anymore?

The person who is the subject of this analysis probably hasn’t changed that much.

However, the person making the observations likely has gotten too familiar with them and has settled into autopilot when it comes to exploring what is fun and unique about that individual.  With familiarity comes less desire to explore what makes a person special as when that individual was in essence a stranger to them.

I think this is also why results often wane in professional teams that have been together for a long time.  We become so familiar with our team members that we settle into professional autopilot, taking our team members known gifts for granted while not exploring them as we did when they (or we) were first introduced to the team.

And then there is the next generation

I think too many people see their children in the same way, especially when kids do something that drives their parents up the wall.  If the magic experienced during childbirth could be relived and replayed at difficult moments, I believe we would be much more tolerant and accepting as the next generation relearns many of the things that we learned at the same point in our own lives. 

Ask a parent who has lost a child what they would give to have that child around again, driving them nuts, and the answer becomes painfully lesson-filled.

And then there is how we look at ourselves

I wonder if this sense of familiarity also becomes problematic in how we view ourselves.  Maybe we have become so familiar with what we believe our gifts and talents to be that we have fallen into a sense of routine and comfort, using only a small percentage of our total potential while the rest of our potential remains hidden from ourselves and the world.

While there is comfort in familiarity, there is also complacency

When complacency sets in, there is the potential for apathy, boredom and indifference.

And when that happens, relationships and personal / professional potential die as the effort required for exploration wanes, being a small percentage of what was once invested when things were “new” and “exciting”.

I wonder if we should take some time to look at everything as strangers again – the places where we spend our time and the people whom we spend our personal and professional time with.

Maybe when we do this, we will have an opportunity to rediscover hidden magic, talents and potential that otherwise might have escaped our senses. 

Perhaps we will then escape the danger of living on autopilot that many of us have become accustomed to and in doing so, discover a new freshness that so many people seem to be craving for.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

A complete stranger whom you’ve never met.

You Must Know Me Before You Can Transform Me

I received an invitation today that promised nothing less than to reinvent and transform me as a leader and a human being.

I was intrigued by the offer since the person who sent it to me knows nothing about who I am, what I have learned in my lifetime or what I need to learn to grow as a human being.

And yet the offer contains the perfect plan to help me and thousands of other people, many like me and many totally unlike me … a generic one-size-fits-all plan.

PT Barnum was wrong.

There isn’t one born every minute.

There is one born every second.

We’ve all seen the offers of “I can help you become more “whatever”” that many of us are bombarded with every day.

Most are as worthless as saying “I’m going to sell you a travel plan to NYC that is equally easy for anyone to follow” without caring what the starting point is.  The journey will be dramatically different for the person starting out in Hoboken, NJ versus the person starting out in Sydney, Australia.

It’s also like a 5-year old boy in the Congo and Wayne Gretzky both being given a plan to become a great hockey player or a child in a poverty-ravished part of South America and Bill Gates both being given a plan for developing a level of phenomenal wealth.

One person has no context for how the plan even applies to their Life while the other can only say “been there, done that” or “do you really think you can teach me?”.

And there are millions of people between the two extremes.

The odds that a generic plan can be successfully applied are as mathematically remote as me winning the next Miss America or the next Powerball Lottery.

However, people keep being sucked in by the promise of making their lives better with no effort on their part and no context on the part of the person offering the plan.

So the next time you get all excited about the Super Transformational Galactic Framazam Offer, remember one thing:

Unless the person promising miracles has a means of helping you create a plan that starts by objectively, pragmatically recognizing where you are in your Life right now, it is highly unlikely that they can help you develop a plan that leads you to the promised land since the map requires knowledge of both ends of the journey.

Context is everything.  If they don’t know or don’t care what you have done, what you know or what is left for you to learn, then they can’t help you with your journey.

By the way, I’ve got a guaranteed plan that will make you a master hockey player , one of the wealthiest people in the world, a Miss America winner and a Powerball Lottery winner – all with no effort on your part.

Interested?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Life Coaching: One Size Does NOT Fit All

I was approached by a “Life coach” this morning who was pretty confident that he could help grow me personally and professionally.  Intrigued by his offer and how it was presented, I agreed to an initial 30-minute free consultation in the coffee shop where we had run into each other.

During the free consultation, this individual asked me to be as forthright as I could in regards to where my Life has been and then he would help outline a plan for my future.

“Sounds good”, I said and being a transparent person, I proceeded to outline:

1. Growing up in poverty in a town of 2,000 people and ending up as an award-winning consultant in NYC, not always knowing what I wanted but definitely knowing what I didn’t want.

2. Facing and overcoming a plethora of medical conditions, some of which had the potential to be fatal.

3. Walking away from four airplane “events”, some of which were rated by the pilots as being in the top three scariest events of their lives.

4. Having a perfect 4 - 0 record as the victim of muggings in NYC (although if I’m the winner, am I the victim?).

5. Founding / cofounding a number of companies and IPOing one of them.

6. My professional and personal involvement with various “interesting groups”, some of whom that are clandestinely focused on the safety of civilians.

7. Early-life encounters with pedophiles who failed with their intentions.

8. A young life filled with bullies.

9. Complex relationships, some successful and some not, personally and professionally.

10. My beliefs about our individual need and responsibility to serve the world.

11. My spiritual beliefs.

12. Stories of the 15 great friends I lost in the World Trade Center on 9/11.

13. What keeps me awake at night in regards to the security of our citizens and of the world.

I didn’t get to the really scary stuff.  I ran out of time and wasn’t sure if his mind would have survived the cranial defibrillator that would have resulted from sharing those stories.

When I had finished summarizing my Life, he was speechless for a moment and then stuttered and stammered his way through how he thought he could help me.

He didn’t do very well.

In fact, at the end of the conversation he admitted that my Life intimidated him.  I think the word he actually used was “frightened” and before we were done, he was asking me to be his Life coach.

Alas, time does not permit but I was flattered by the request.

This encounter reminded me that it is easy to assume (incorrectly) that people need fixing (as defined by the observer), that we must fix those people and that our approach, knowledge and Life context provide us with the tools and insight to accomplish this “repair” successfully.

We DO have value – just not to everyone

It is true that we all bring Life context and knowledge that is of value to someone and that we have a responsibility to serve others.

But let’s not assume that each of us has the obligation, the right and the ability to fix everyone.

Once we assume that we have a one-size-fits-all model that can heal and guide anyone, I suspect that it is easy for our humility to get lost in the hubris of our own self-perceived brilliance.

And when that happens, I believe that we lose sight of our opportunity to learn from others instead of assuming that everyone in the world is waiting to learn from us.

Are you still capable of learning from others or have you reached the pinnacle of your perfection?

How would others answer this question on your behalf?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Life Execution: Purpose or Paranoia?

As an observer of the human experience, I enjoy understanding what motivates people to live as they do.

One of the things I like to assess that I believe provides a high level of predictability in terms of narrowing the gap between potential and results is whether they are guided by “purpose” or “paranoia” (fear).

In other words ….

Each of us is motivated to run towards something (a Purpose-filled Life) or to run from something (a fear / avoidance-based Life).  The quality and impact of our lives is in large-part derived from the choice we embrace.

After all, if I am focused on moving towards a Purpose, then I am unwavering in my intention to do what it takes to reach my goals -  collecting and sharing the knowledge, networks, finances and any other resources necessary to bring my Purpose (and the Purpose of others) to fruition.

I decide what my priorities are and act appropriately on them.  I am also not easily knocked off target in terms of goal-focus and can adjust my execution as required.

If I am running from fear, whether it is a fear of financial failure, fear of relationship failure, fear of a perceived lack of knowledge, fear of someone being better than me, fear of how others perceive me or anything else, then I am reactive - blowing in the breeze with my random actions depending on what fear resonates the loudest with me on a given day.

In this case, my fear-driven priorities probably represent the priorities of someone else who is living their Life in a Purpose-filled way (or even worse if I allow someone’s fear-focused intentions to fuel the same in me, thereby producing a really random, potentially painful result). 

My Life would look like Monty Python’s “100 Yard Dash For People With No Sense of Direction”.

 

 

I’m also not living my Life in such situations – I’m living someone else’s.

As I have mentioned in earlier writings, we can choose to live our Life as we desire or we can allow others to drive our Life as they desire.

The former takes courage and often requires that we make painful decisions.

The latter creates even more fear within and produces painful or disappointing results – not just for ourselves but for others as well.

The latter is also like trying to balance a bowling ball on a broomstick.

It sways in many directions and seems temporarily successful …..

…. but it provides little value or purpose and eventually falls, providing an embarrassing moment at best or potentially killing the person underneath in a worst-case scenario.

Do you focus on Purpose or paranoia?

While most people who are asked believe they are Purpose-focused, it is estimated that only 3-5% of people in the Western world actually focus on the former.

Are you one of them?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Perspective–Defining What’s Important

During my morning reflection today, a memory came back to me from my hockey playing youth.

The memory was of a particular game of street hockey I played on a cold Saturday morning back in the late 70’s.  On one occasion in the game, I stole the ball from an opponent behind my net, ran up the street deftly stickhandling around two guys, jumped over the stick of a third guy who swung it in an arc about knee high and suddenly I was living every hockey youth’s dream.

I was on a breakaway.

It was a series of moves worthy of any replay reel – at least in my mind anyway.

As I raced in on net, my heart racing and adrenalin rushing through my veins, I excitedly prepared to complete the perfect end-to-end play.

“Perfect” is a matter of perspective and from the perspective of the goalie I was racing towards, my finish was indeed perfect.

I missed the net entirely.

All that energy …. expended in a brilliant, solo effort …. for nothing.

I replayed that game over and over in my mind many times that year.

I marvelled at how “perfect” everything had gone.

And I re-experienced disappointment over and over at the finish, often choosing to be a slight revisionist as I imagined what the perfect goal would have looked like instead of the finish that I created.

It all seemed pretty important at the time.

A couple of months ago, I happened to be visiting the town of my youth and had an opportunity to drive down the street where I played that game.

The stretch of pavement which was about two hockey rinks long in my memories was maybe 75 feet long at best and only a single lane wide.

That’s funny – it seemed to be a lot bigger 30+ years ago.

Life experience and the perspective that comes with it

At the time I was experiencing the missed goal of a lifetime, the good parts seemed like the most important thing of all time while the missed goal seemed like the most disappointing thing I could ever experience.

The funny thing was that for all the effort I put into living and reliving the moment, in the grand scheme of things the event wasn’t important at all … nor was constantly rehashing it in my mind.

As so while the sequence makes for a great memory that causes me to smile today, it reminds me of the importance of perspective.

Whether or not I scored the goal would have made little difference on the person I became, the things I embraced, the career I set out on or anything else significant in my Life.

But back then, when all I had was “the moment” with no plans for the future, it was as big and as important as anything could be.

Life goals – the ultimate discernment filter

As a student of the human experience, observing what we choose to fight over and how we choose to do it, I can’t help but wonder if too many people are caught up in the same phenomenon of making little things much bigger and more important than they need to be or glossing over things that deserve much more attention than they receive.

I also wonder if the main reason we get caught up magnifying the unimportant while diminishing the important is because many people have no identified Life purpose or goals that would provide them with a lens by which to evaluate and respond to the events around them.

Oh sure, when people are asked what their goals are, they say things like “lose 20 pounds”, “retire early”, “travel the world”, “send their kids to college” and all of that stuff.

But those are merely events and milestones, all contributing to the greater reason for existence.

Most people don’t know what that “reason” is and so without clear perspective on their Life purpose, they have nothing by which to measure the importance of everyday events against.

And when that happens, their Life is one of reacting, getting angry at some event which is not really important, not responding to events that should be calls to action and generally experiencing Life instead of creating it.

They also don’t realize that their response to every single event in their Life takes them closer to or further away from their ultimate Life purpose.  Without a “reason” to help determine the right response, their responses are random and as likely (or more) to produce the wrong long-term result as they are to create the desired result.

To compensate for the void that they feel, they fill the gap with mind numbing activities or allow themselves to overreact to stimuli in their environment, regardless of whether or not the energy and emotion they are expending actually contributes to their Life purpose.

After all, if they manufacture noise in order to be constantly responding to something, it feels like they are making progress in Life (or have an excuse as to why they are not).

It’s not their fault - they don’t know what their Life purpose is so how could they know better?

The truth of the matter is that much of what we get immersed in is not important while the important things are practically screaming at us for attention.

If more people took time to have a better sense of their value, their potential for contribution and the importance of recognizing the same in others, we would spend a lot less time debating and arguing and more time collaborating around developing our Life purpose and helping others do the same.

And for those who choose not to care about what their Life purpose is, here’s another truth.

If you don’t know what your Life purpose is, you become a stepping stone to be used by those who do.

How do you feel about that?  That’s where most people are in society, whether they want to believe it or not.  Maybe that’s why they feel so uncertain – they have a sense of this but can’t quite put their finger on it.

The world is at a point where respectful collaboration and impactful, meaningful change is needed more than ever.

But in order to manifest meaningful change, it takes more than just a lot of energy expended in a random fashion or directed towards things that don’t really matter.  It also takes more than aimlessly rehashing stuff in one’s mind or constantly chattering about it.

And instead of passionately fighting everything in Life, be selective about what you fight for and then be passionate about that.

It takes focused effort, measurable outcomes and the combined efforts and contributions of many to bring positive change to fruition.

Otherwise, when your end-of-days has arrived, you may find that your Life experience was much like my hockey experience on that cold Saturday morning .…

…. a lot of energy expended in what looked like brilliant moves at the time but with your only shot “missing the net” as mine did in the late 70’s.

I believe we all can and must do better than that.

What do you believe?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

I’m Not Dead …. Not Yet Anyway

I’ve received hundreds of emails from great people asking me if I am ill.  After all, my blog, after a lot of activity in recent months has been relatively quiet over the last couple of weeks.

One person even sent me an email checking to see if I had died and as I write this, it occurs to me that I forgot to answer it.  Ooops.

My recent weeks have been spent with a great client and when I’m not with the client, I am sitting in an airplane crisscrossing the North American continent and doing my best to accelerate global warming (the last part is a joke – please don’t email me).

But what really struck me were a small percentage of people who told me that I have a responsibility to provide them with content that matters to them.

I really enjoy blogging (and even more so, REALLY enjoy the responses my blog evokes). 

I write when my Spirit is moved.

I write to move the Spirit of others.  Whether it makes them happy, sad or angry, it evokes emotion that moves them to action or at least snaps them out of complacency.  Well …. hopefully.

I am very grateful that people want to see more content.

But Life is always a matter of juggling competing priorities.

A strong Life is one where we honor our priorities to ourselves and others while not bending to the demands of people who insist that we satisfy their needs while being oblivious to our own.

Other people’s priorities are not always ours, otherwise we wouldn’t be living our lives.

We’d be living theirs.

So I’m not dead yet.

I’m just tending to priorities.

How are you coming with your priorities today?

Are you living your Life or are you living someone else’s?

How do you know?

If you are reading this you are not dead.  But with each passing day, each of us moves one step closer to our end-of-days.

Let’s make the most of every moment … and do what matters in the order that matters in a timely fashion that matters.

Because everything you think, say and do ….

…. matters.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS I’m on my way to the airport.  Maybe I better answer that outstanding email before I forget again.

A unrelated musing that hit me last night as I took a breather and reflected on “stuff”.

Those who haven't lived weep out of fear or self pity. Those who have lived weep with gratitude.

One other humorous thought in closing as I think about the email I forgot to answer.

When one sends an email asking if someone else is dead, I wonder how they would react to not receiving an answer.

It reminds me of a client I had back in the 90’s in NYC who used to write the following on every fax cover page she used.

If you do not receive this fax, please call me at 212-xxx-xxxx.

After observing this for a while, I asked her how they would know how to contact her if they didn’t receive the fax.

With a sigh of exasperation, she looked at me and said “Because I wrote my phone number on the first page”.

Of course, I thought. I had missed the obvious.  And with a nod and a smile, I walked away in silence.

The iPhone 5 - Fascinating Insight Into Humanity

I noticed with interest over the weekend that the number of pre-orders of the iPhone 5 have hit the 2 million mark.

People are making plans to take the day off from work, school or family to stand in line for hours to pick up the highly coveted communications and entertainment device.  One person noted in this article camped out for two weeks at her local store to pick up the last version of the iPhone.

Many have turned to social media to share their fantasies about the little handheld device that appears, from their description, to give them a reason for being.

And as the stream of fantasies and descriptions of raison d'etre consume social media, there is a fascinating side to this.

If people put as much energy, excitement and passion into their businesses, their relationships, their personal growth and their Life in general as they do for stuff like this, the world would be even more amazing to behold.

In the meantime, we muddle along as a species, making some fascinating choices in terms of where we direct our passion, our strengths, our talents and our unlimited capabilities.

I used to get really frustrated with this, especially given what some world leaders have been preparing for in terms of socio-economic upheaval, wars and other things that will affect all of us.

But I finally realized, with the help of some friends,  that not only do I not have the energy nor the right to try to help all these people to exhibit better behavior, this is in fact exactly how everything is meant to be.

Life – Correct It or Be Corrected

Many people were offended when this picture made the rounds in social media.

The interesting thing about being offended by such a picture is that often times, the feeling comes as a result of knowing deep down inside that there is an elusive or hidden truth to the inference suggested in the picture.

But knowing something and taking action as a result are not often dance partners in Life and you can’t force people to face the demon that causes them to feel disrupted or offended.

But the Universe does have a way to wake us up when we choose not to wake up of our own volition.

Change is coming.

World leaders are preparing their governments, their laws, their infrastructure and their military for it.

There are many people who see this change and are positioning themselves to be stronger after it has come and gone.

As for those who don’t care or who continue to direct their incredible potential towards things that don’t matter ….

Well ….

They are merely proving this man right:

Not that they would know or even care who this man is.

And for this reason, there is nothing to be frustrated about as people fail to live up to their phenomenal potential.

It is as it should be.

Isn’t it, Mr. Darwin?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS  There is also the idea of rewarding people commensurate with their contribution to society and the personal sacrifice that they make for all of us.

But that’s a subject for another day.

Offline and Loving It

Or maybe I should rename this blog “Offline and Needing It”.

I got turned on to the idea of disconnecting from the world many years ago when I worked for a brilliant owner of an insurance company in Canada who had regularly scheduled “Quiet Hours” and “Quiet Retreats”.

However, I got really plugged into living it when I was a Senior Enterprise Strategy Advisor with Microsoft in New York.

Bill Gates used to hold semi-annual “Think Week” events where he would disconnect from the world and contemplate past results and future plans for the Big M.  Employees of Microsoft could contribute to this thinking process by submitting ideas that would be vetted by any and all Microsoft employees.  The winners of these merciless, running-of-the-gauntlet, sometimes ego-filled “I’m smarter than you” evaluations would be placed on Bill’s agenda when he disappeared for reflection, contemplation and planning.

As a participant and winner of one of these processes, I got some insight into what it takes to clear one’s mind and focus on the next big thing.  I also learned a lot about the value of unplugging from the overwhelming information flow that hits us 24x7.

It is also refreshing to unplug from the steady stream of media and social media whose intentions are less about giving us knowledge and data and more about trying to convince us to think in a specific way, either in conjunction with or contrary to how we live.

Surgeon General’s Warning

Anyone who is plugged in 24x7 like me may find the withdrawal symptoms disconcerting and perhaps even “painful”.

However, once the pain of disconnecting from “the Matrix” is complete, the silence that results provides a powerful tool that enables one to reflect, learn, meditate, contemplate and plan the next big thing for family, business, clients or colleagues who rely on us.

A Source of Important Reminders

Disconnecting provides a reminder that we don’t need to be plugged in all the time.

It is a reminder that recharging is important.

But it is also a reminder that the world, amazingly enough, can actually survive well without us - a positive lesson in humility and self-reliance that is useful for all of us to learn, including those who rely on us and feel afraid to move forward without us.  Whether the latter is the truth or a part of our Lone Ranger fantasy can be discerned (and often shot down) as a result of this process.

The process is highly recommended and is as unique in execution as the uniqueness within each human beings.  It should be noted that it’s not like a family vacation.  While vacations are important and fun, the purpose of a “Think Week” break  is different in execution and results.

It’s like riding down a fast zip line, jumping out of a plane (with a parachute hopefully) or trying some previously undiscovered food delicacy - until you’ve tried it, you don’t know what you are missing.

Catch you on the other side once I have reinserted myself into the Matrix!

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Think Week–The Importance of Quiet Time

When I worked with Microsoft some years ago, I was fascinated and privileged to participate in a process called Think Week.

Think Week was a process that Bill Gates embraced, whereby he would disconnect from most sources of information (or interference) and would pore over technical papers submitted by Microsoft employees.  The thought was that quiet thinking time was a valuable means of recharging and receiving insight into what should be embraced next personally and professionally.

While I was initially fascinated by this, I have since discovered the power of following such a process. 

Many of us are bombarded daily with information ranging from the valuable to the mundane and even the useless.  Many of us do our part to contribute to this information stream, also making contributions that range from the valuable to the useless.

Social media has it all for us.

Sometimes it has too much.

We all know that an automobile serves us best when we maintain it well.  Low-quality gasoline, poor food choices, lack of maintenance and excessive wear-and-tear eventually cause the automobile to be less reliable and if we push it hard enough, it may fail completely.

Our brain is very similar.  When we overload it with an over-abundance of information, whether it be valuable or not, eventually it begins to not fire on all cylinders.

When that happens, one of the greatest gifts we have, the ability to think clearly, to reason, to plan and to execute our plan, begins to sputter.  Eventually we are not living up to our potential but we don’t realize it because we are too busy trying to stay on top of the information stream or we are too busy trying to show others that we are able to contribute as effectively to social media as anyone else.

Too many have become lost, using social media awareness and contribution as an indicator of how much they matter in the world.

For this reason, I have embraced the notion of a semi-annual retreat from social media.  That’s right – no Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, foursquare or any other forms of social media for a week (sometimes longer).  I even limit email as much as I can.

While I am grateful for the many social interactions that I experience daily, my brain eventually reaches a point where it needs quiet time to understand what it should be doing and how it should be doing it.

Truthfully, there are also times I get tired of hearing myself speak and I appreciate the quiet from within as I’m sure some of my colleagues appreciate as well. :-)

Unlike many, I don’t think the world will come to an end if I cease to exchange information with my many wonderful social media connections for a week or so.

For many of my colleagues who have tried a week (or more) of quiet time, where one gets to reflect on past, present and future, they have found it to be a powerful, rejuvenating experience.

And it reminds them that they are in control of the information around them, not the other way around.

Blaise Pascal once said:

All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.

It is intriguing how many people cannot exist without social media, cannot go an hour without a peek at how their Facebook friends are doing or to see if someone retweeted their latest tweet on Twitter.

They have reduced their Life meaning to how social media defines it for them.

Perhaps if more people took some time for themselves, we would have a better sense of who we are, why we are here and what we are meant to achieve.

Maybe if we took a little more time for ourselves, we would have a better sense of what our Legacy is and how we are creating it.

Susan Taylor once said:

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly. . . spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.”

I believe she is right.

See you in a week …. give or take.

Create a great day!

In service and servanthood,

Harry