Stop Being Offended and Do Something

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. - Joel A. Barker

Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. - Thomas Jefferson

Action expresses priorities. - Mahatma Gandhi

At 6am this morning, my local Starbucks was busier than normal.  My Quiet Hour had ended and I was gearing up for another day of orchestrated chaos and the test of mettle that strains under the pressure of closing a complex business deal.

It was a typical day in any major city – people coming and going in haste, on the way to wherever, focused on whatever, as they stared straight ahead with expressionless or strained faces.

There were a couple of women passionately discussing Scripture.

And there was a homeless guy, keeping a watchful eye on his shopping cart outside.

It contains everything he has.

I hadn’t noticed him at first.  What drew my attention to him were the two women discussing Scripture.  Drinking their $5 lattes that stood beside their Michael Kors bags, they discussed how they were glad that being homeless wasn’t something that they needed to worry about.  After discussing it for a few minutes, one followed the lead of the other, bowed her head and they both said a prayer for the homeless guy before returning to their idle chatter, complaining about the lousy nail salon in the area.

Seeing him sitting there, I got up, asked him if I could buy him breakfast (to which he said yes), I asked him what he wanted and brought it back to him.  He said thank-you and proceeded to enjoy it.

It may be the only food he eats today.

As I walked past the two obviously affluent ladies, I stopped, politely interrupted them and said “Did it ever occur to either of you that perhaps instead of praying for him, that you were in fact the answer to someone else’s prayer for him?”

I don’t think they knew what to make of me and stared at me with nothing to say.

In the same coffee shop the day before (yes, my Life revolves mostly in my office, my lawyer’s office and the coffee shop these days with whatever is left over for family), I noticed a guy repairing the coffee machine.  By a strange twist of fate, whether I am in the coffee shop at 6 in the morning or 6 in the evening, he is often there at the same time and he has seen me many times.

I was joking with the barista about being too hard on the machine (to which she laughed) when he turned to me and snapped, “I see you here all the time.  Why don’t you get a job like a real man?”

He had taken an opportunity to speak his truth or what he perceived as his truth, based on the assumption that if I am there when he is there, I must be a “lazy sod” (albeit a well-dressed one) idly passing time there.

And so I took an opportunity to respectfully speak my truth back to him and when I was done, I received a mumbled apology as he stared at the floor.

My colleague was shocked by the repairman’s rude audacity but not at my response – most people get used to me over time.

The same colleague had been with me a few weeks before when two people sitting next to us spilled coffee on their table.  They concluded their business, stood up and started to walk away.

“Excuse me, sir”, I sang out, “Are you going to leave a mess like that?”

One continued out the door without looking back but the other guy looked at me, said “I thought my partner was going to do it” (even though his partner was already ahead of him and out the door), cleaned it up and thanked me for calling him on it.

It was only fair – he was, in fact, the guy who had spilled the coffee in the first place.

Meanwhile, my colleague was shocked that I had spoken up.

“Was it wrong that he was leaving a mess behind?”, I asked.

“Of course it was”, came the reply.

“Were you upset that he was leaving a mess behind?”, I asked.

“I was”, came the reply.

“So why didn’t you speak up instead of merely choosing to be offended?”, I asked.

The light came on.

People in need don’t need your prayers alone.

They also don’t need passive-aggressive discomfort with a situation.

By the same token, problems at-hand or things that bother us are not solved if we just sit there being offended or bothered by them.

If you want to fix your world, then you must be the change you wish to see.

It reminds me of the time I became aware of a woman who had been compromised by a guy who, with his twisted interest in child pornography and other bizarre needs, had managed to secure some compromising photos of her.  He used the photos and the threat of releasing them on the Web to deepen his control over her and it appeared that damaging her family or her company were next on the agenda for him.

I could have offered to say a prayer for her.

I could have given her a hug, whispering encouraging words about how I knew she would overcome this.

I could have done nothing but used it as a conversation topic with friends, waxing on about the scumbags in the world.

There are many things I could have offered or done of little value to her.

Instead, I fixed the problem as I described in the post Answering the Cry For Help.

Deeds and results, unlike words, do not lie nor do they pass the buck, allowing someone else to fix a problem (hopefully) while we focus on how offended we are.

The Bottom Line

When we choose to be offended or surprised and carry that feeling around all day without addressing it, we waste an opportunity to make a difference.  Too many of us spend time wasting brain cycles that could have been used for something else more important, more impactful or more productive.

And then there is the problem of wasting time wondering what the answers / results should be for unasked questions and actions not taken.

This morning, my business partner was surprised to see one of my thumbnails with bright, pink nail polish on it.

He looked at it several times with a light smile but said nothing although he was clearly distracted by it.

“You want to ask, don’t you?”, I said to him as I observed him.

“I do”, he said, smiling.

“Then ask”, I replied.

“Ok”, he said, “Why does the President of our company have a pink thumbnail?”

“Great question”, I replied, “Perhaps it is nice to be in touch with a softer side once in a while as we spend inordinate amounts of time being aggressive, assertive, Alpha males pretending to be kings of the universe as we make plans for our next conquest.  What do you think?”

He paused for a moment and then he smiled.

“I like it”, he replied.

“Me too”, I replied, “And besides, since when did I care what others think of what I say or do as long as what I do gets the job done and honors others?”

“I really like it”, he said.

An hour later, my small action was greeted with applause in the boardroom.

And then one of the guys at the office went out to buy a bottle of vivid, bright blue nail polish to give it a try. 

After all, blue is our corporate color.

I wonder what people on the street will think.

I don’t care.

Neither should you.

Stop being offended by the world, wasting time and energy being upset by the actions (or lack thereof) of others.

Stop leaving questions unanswered, incessantly turning them over in your mind when you could be using the gift of your intellect to solve problems for you, your family, your friends, your colleagues, your country and your planet.

Speak your truth ….

…. dare to defend it …

…. and dare to live it.

The world is waiting for you to take action.

What are you waiting for?

In service and servanthood – create a great day because merely having one is too passive an experience.

Harry

PS As I wrote this today, a great friend of mine by the name of Leonard Szymczak came to mind.  In powerful books such as The Roadmap Home: Your GPS to Inner Peace, Leonard reminds us all about the importance of living our truth – forcefully and directly but always delivered with peace, love and respect.

If only more people had the courage to do so.

Imagine what a world we could create.

Don’t wait to be asked.

Don’t spin on being offended.

Don’t waste time pondering the answers to unasked questions.

Perhaps consider the following questions I ask myself every day during my Quiet Hour?

• What do I do?
• Where do I go?
• What do I say?
• …. and to whom?
• What quality do I seek?
• What quality do I create?
• Who should I be?
• Who am I being?

Do something.

Anything.

Addendum – A Memory From a Friend

A friend contacted me after reading this post and asked if I remembered the time we were in a coffee shop where a table of women were howling with laughter - loudly and rudely.  Everyone around them stared at them, shaking their head and muttering and one person who asked them to quiet down out of respect for others was ignored.

My friend and I went over and sat at the table next to them and howled and laughed louder than they did (over nothing in particular).

The key jester at the other table addressed us sharply and told us that we were being rude.

I told her that I thought that they were being rude in drowning out everyone else in the coffee shop.  She replied that she wasn’t being rude and that she was trying to make an important point to everyone at the table.

I replied, “So am I.”

She got the message.

Oh the memories - I guess I’ve been a nuisance in public longer than I remembered.

Closing Thoughts – Some Reactions to my Thumbnail

After wearing my pink thumbnail for a day, I was intrigued and amused by people’s reactions, either communicated directly to me or from one person to another.

Some examples (with my thoughts in italics):

• It’s hot (or very hot) – ahem - thanks
• It’s cool – sounds good to me
• I wonder how kinky he is – define kinky
• He’s in touch with his feminine self – nothing wrong with that
• It’s weird – by whose definition?
• Normal men don’t do that – see previous question
• **stare** / avert eyes when noticed / repeat – passive aggressive behavior never solves anything – be assertive
• **stare** / freeze in place (as I held out money to pay for something) – is there something wrong?
• He’s probably a pedophile or some other type of sickie (from one mother to another as she moved her child closer to her) – really?
• He’s gay – wearing pink nail polish is insufficient qualification criteria
• He’s “whipped” – you clearly don’t know me very well
• **snickers / laughter** – courageous and mature

That’s a lot of character analysis derived from a single, pink thumbnail.

No one asked me anything but they came to some interesting conclusions in absence of data.

Some were titillated.

Some were impressed.

Some were frightened.

Some were insulted or offended.

And some questioned my sense of normality based on their standard.

When I see how poorly informed and easily influenced they were, based entirely on insufficient, incomplete and irrelevant data, it’s easy to see why so many people are lost personally, professionally, intellectually, emotionally, financially and relationally.

How do we fix this?

Should we?

Can we?

What happens if we don’t?

The US Election–A Warning For America

The past speaks to us in a thousand voices, warning and comforting, animating and stirring to action. - Felix Adler

If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example. - George Bernard Shaw

I remember as a kid taking high school physics that I was fascinated by vector analysis, the notion of netting out multiple forces with different directions and vector quantities such as displacement, velocity, force and acceleration to find out what ultimate direction and other vector quantities an object being acted upon by these forces would exhibit.  (Who knows – maybe they teach this in kindergarten now)

And now as I watch people continue to triumph or melt down down over the election result, my memories turn back to my old physics days, about how a result is the net effect of many of forces coming to bear at a single place and point in time.

But first a background story that caused my old physics days to come to mind.

A long-time friend of more than 25 years recently said goodbye to me because he couldn’t live with the notion that people couldn’t have differences of opinion.

He and I were both immigrants to America.

We both found significant success in America.

But here we diverged a little.

I embraced the nation, being grateful every day that it accepted me as one of its own and that I had equal opportunity to thrive and seize success if I wanted it.  When the Star Spangled Banner would play at an event, my eyes would tear up in gratitude to be afforded such opportunity that few in the world dared to hope for.

The nation wasn’t perfect but there were many places in the world that were MUCH worse.

Our differences of opinion were significant although not immediately apparent to me until recently.

I believe a nation’s flag is sacred and while its protection and respectful treatment is not enshrined under law, I believe that to smear the flag is the ultimate insult to a nation.

He believes that burning the flag is a useful form of protest (although he can’t explain how or why).

I believe that our armed forces, law enforcement and first responders in general need to be honored every day for the incredible, unselfish sacrifices they make so that we can go about our business and reach for our dreams.

He believes that the armed forces are an embarrassing example of a primal, degenerate nature that don’t deserve our respect and therefore should not be honored in any way.

I believe in the notion that if we spread any kind of information, it should be authenticated, validated, shared respectfully and built around making the world a better place.

He believes that any information is useful, including false or misleading information, if it accomplishes the objective.  He also believes that if this hurts people, then so be it – the ends justify the means.

We have many differences as is usually healthy amongst friends.

However, I drew the line recently when he began promoting pro-hatred rhetoric proven to be lies because he was so disappointed that Hillary Clinton had lost.  All was fair in terms of overthrowing the hateful person (in his eyes) that had become the President-elect.

“This man”, he said through his actions, “is an embarrassment to morals and ethics in America.  Look at how he treats others including ……” and he listed off a pile of stories that have already been established to not be true.

Feeling a little weary of this series of lectures, I asked him “If you believe so strongly about morals and ethics, why are you cheating on your wife?”

What followed was a blistering attack against me followed by the ever mature, ever useful (not) unfriending.

I am not judging him for cheating on his wife with someone much younger.

When my end-of-days arrives, I will have many things to atone for in my own Life as is true for most of us.

But what I do take umbrage over is when someone lectures others on morals, values and character while reserving the right to be none of the things they expect of others.

And that’s when I got to thinking about vectors in high school physics.

As I have noted in older blog posts:

Trump, for better or for worse, was elected fairly in the greatest democratic process on Earth (despite all its shortcomings).  That is something to be championed and not complained about.  As I noted in the past, Americans complaining about their President-elect fail to recognize that the winner is not an aberration of their society but is in fact a product of it.  Given that, who else could win other than someone who represents a natural evolution of their society?  If someone doesn’t like the result of the election, rather than examine the winner, we must examine the system that produced the winner.

Many, many complementary and opposing forces, created over generations, have come together to create the system we have now and the President we have elected.

If we don’t like the election process that was used, the process as it was executed (including by the media and in social media) and the result that it produced, it behooves us to look at the many forces that went into creating and using all three. 

When an object (or a President) is propelled in a certain direction in a certain way, it is not merely the actions of the object but the forces (or vector quantities) in place at that moment that propel the object.

The forces aren’t created spontaneously or from thin air.

They come from our actions.

Too often the things we claim to not like are merely the symptoms of a more complex problem or are projections based on our own biases and fears.  Knowing the difference between targeting the core issue versus the symptoms means the difference between finding a solution or immersing one’s self in insanity or an endless litany of complaining and/or feelings of victimhood.

The President-elect is not the problem.

We are.

The Bottom Line

The President-elect is the net effect of the thoughts, words and actions of all of us, both present and in our past.  It’s not only what we do but what we promote or condone in others – the end result being the net effect of what we do and what we allow over time.

If don’t like how he was created or what he is, we need to look less at him and more into the forces that have created him and propelled him into the position that he is in.

Such an analysis, while complex, difficult, painful and potentially embarrassing, will produce far more results than chanting slogans of hurt feelings in the streets of America or constantly sharing in social media how “I can’t stop crying” or “I’m leaving America”.

When we become cognizant of our thoughts, words and deeds, it occurs to us that the enemy may not be the person or process we don’t like.

It may be ourselves.

And for this reason, perhaps when we seek a better world without, that we begin by creating a better world within and in doing so, we enable our actions, not our desires, dreams or hypocritical standards, to create the world we believe we are capable of producing and that we claim to be entitled to.

We will always create the world we deserve, in business, in politics and in Life.

But a better world starts with what we believe we or the people around us deserve and then we take actions to create that which others deserve.

What do you and the people around you deserve?

Are you / they experiencing what you believe you / they deserve?

Is there a gap and if so, what are you doing about it?

If there is no gap, how do you know?

Be the change you wish to see while there is still time to create it

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Greg Clark–Politicians and the Importance of Optics

There is an optical illusion about every person we meet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

I was speaking to someone the other day about politics in the 21st century and we were reminiscing fondly of a time when politicians steered clear of obvious conflicts of interest, perceived biases and the like.  While we often believed they were dirty or up to no good, we gave them the benefit of the doubt until someone marched forward with proof to the contrary and the politician faded into obscurity.

In the 21st century, politicians seem to take a different tact, not only not caring about how they are perceived but almost daring the electorate to say anything about specific thorny issues or in some cases, actively shouting down those who dare raise the spectre that something might be amiss. Examples such as Hillary Clinton’s involvement with Benghazi come to mind.

A little over a week ago, I mused about Greg Clark, head of the Alberta Party, where I wondered if his message of being different than other candidates was authentic or just old spin from a new politician.  That post can be found here - Greg Clark–A Refreshing Change Or Just Another Politician?

In that post, I explained how I was intrigued and disappointed in how his words and his actions did not appear to be in congruence and I couldn’t figure out whether he represented a refreshing change that is desperately needed in the political arena everywhere or if he was just another politician telling us what we wanted to hear so he could get elected.

Like many politicians, I found myself sitting on the fence, wondering if I could classify Mr. Clark as an authentic, refreshing change or more of the same and then I noticed this poll.

The poll shows Mr. Clark in a dead heat with the PC and Wildrose candidates, something I was intrigued by.

And then I noticed this little piece of information.

The poll was conducted by a small company in Calgary called BBOLD Public Relations.  That fact in itself doesn’t mean much until one examines things a little more closely and realizes that that organization once had an employee in common with the Greg Clark campaign.

That person is Stephen Carter, now a senior member of the Clark campaign and former President of BBOLD as noted on his LinkedIn profile.

When I tweeted about how intriguing and disappointing the optics of this presented, especially in absence of a truly independent, unbiased poll, some members of his campaign team responded asking me if I was making a judgement on his character.

I didn’t say it.

They did.

Mr. Carter himself responded with this tweet:

The response is disturbing because with it, I can’t tell if he isn’t smart enough to know the difference that proper optics makes or if he believes that I’m not smart enough to see through the lousy optics that this presents.

As we all know, statistics can be bent to anyone’s will.  They are often most (or only) believable when produced by people who have nothing to gain by what the data suggests or implies.  As a long time math guy on Wall St., I know only too well how to use data to manipulate public opinion.

And given this, it suggests to me that once again, politicians would rather brazen their way through lousy optics than avoid them in the first place.

The Bottom Line

When I made an observation about the optics of this poll, I wasn’t suggesting or implying anything about the character, morals or ethics of Mr. Clark as some people in his campaign suggested I might be.

However, when you don’t know someone personally, the only way you can attempt to understand who they are and what they represent is by the optics that they present to you as they attempt to define the interpretation of themselves that they would like you to have.

This should therefore serve as a warning that we need to be careful about the company that we keep.  Sometimes while we may be of strong character, the character we project is actually that of those who project it on our behalf.

And I think his campaign has a ways to go if his campaign dares to suggest that he represents a new wave of truth, honesty and transparency because from where I sit, he is starting to look a lot like the rest of the field – something we don’t need.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

PS Someone on Twitter shared this with me.

It raises many questions.

I leave it to you to find the answers.

Addendum – Alberta Party Comes Up Empty – October 29, 2014

The Alberta Party came up empty in all 4 by-elections in Alberta.  Oftentimes bravado is better directed towards more strategically positive thoughts, words and actions.

I wonder how honest the Alberta Party will be in its post mortems or if it will get distracted by the “second place is a win” mantra that many people embrace.

Unfortunately, in politics, there is only first place.  Discussion of trends, changing momentum and such is often irrational, unjustified, wishful thinking on the part of those who didn’t finish first.

The Alternate Reality of Politicians

Divide and rule, the politician cries; unite and lead, is watchword of the wise. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation. - Adlai E. Stevenson

I have always been fascinated by the alternate reality that politicians live in.

Take for example, The Minister of Municipal Affairs in Alberta, the Honorable Doug Griffiths.

When asked to comment on Opposition Leader Danielle Smith’s plans to hold a town hall to once again express anger over the RCMP and their seizure of weapons in flood-ravaged High River, Alberta, he made an interesting faux pas when he said:

“I am sick and tired of people like her going around trying to blame people when we’re still trying to rebuild the community. It’s fucking embarrassing.”

One of the rules of politics (and business) is that you never let your opponent see you sweat.  As the Opposition Leader, Ms. Smith is paid to represent her constituents, lead her party AND get under the skin of the government.

When a member of the government drops the f-bomb as a result of her actions, the Opposition Leader can only think “mission accomplished – what else can I do to to continue this momentum?”

In addition, in the business world, such words issued against a colleague would immediately motivate HR to investigate – requiring an apology at best or other disciplinary action, including termination.

This rarely happens in the political world.  Even when an Alberta member of government was found to be using his government influence for the benefit of his own company, he was found to be guilty of unethical behavior but not illegal.

I guess it comes down to realities and rationalization. :-(

And finally, we are always loudly trumpeting anti bullying / anti intimidation legislation, especially legislation designed to create a better world for children.

But it doesn’t matter how much legislation we pass to encourage people to treat others with respect.

People model what they see

Unfortunately, politicians can pass legislation that promotes one idea while living another and not see the difference between them.

Meanwhile in High River …..

Ms. Smith held another town hall in High River where angry residents had another opportunity to vent the anger they have vented repeatedly, the only difference being that this time, they had an opportunity to vent it towards representatives of the RCMP.

The reasons for their anger have been documented and expressed many times since June so I’m not certain that another round of yelling and screaming “moves the ball”.

In the real world, upon first capturing the essence of a problem, a problem solver says “I hear you loud and clear.  I will do what it takes to get this resolved and will report periodically on progress or ask for your opinion should we reach a point where decisions needs to be made”.

But in the political world, while Ms. Smith may have taken some actions on behalf of her constituents, she is still focused on the importance of whipping up anger.

The time for anger has passed.

What matters now is focus on execution and results that benefit the people of High River.

Continued anger and outrage in lieu of results only benefits the politician who encourages it.

In the real world, anyone who has their marching orders but continues to convene meetings to revisit their marching orders will cause people to think:

• Did this person not hear us the first time?
• Does this person not know how to solve this problem?
• We have already expressed our anger over this – why does this person want us to keep revisiting our anger instead of solving the problem?
• Why are we wasting our time rehashing everything we already know?
• If we meet enough times, maybe we need to turn our attention to the person who keeps reconvening us.

But this is not the real world.

This is politics, where anger and obfuscation are often more useful than results, as I posited here - Anger: Setting Yourself Up For Manipulation.

Ms. Smith knows what the issues are, she knows the anger that is simmering amongst the citizens and she knows what is at stake.

All that is left are measurable results that benefit citizens – the bane of many politicians.

And speaking of producing measurable results that benefit citizens ….

President Obama is insisting on the need to perform a military strike against Syria when he, John Kerry and their many political and military advisors cannot publicly identify the actual threat to America, the benefit to America in carrying out the attack or the downstream ramifications of what might happen should an attack be launched.

And as I listen to them play chess with our safety and our lives yet again, I think of the 15 close friends that I lost in the World Trade Center almost 12 years ago and the thousands of loved ones who were lost on that day and in the wars that followed.

When politicians use our security, our well being and our lives in the grand scheme of the strategy game they are engaged in, they do it with lots of upside and little downside … for themselves.

My friends cared little for the political, diplomatic and military tit for tat exercises that ultimately produced their death.

Meanwhile, the people who participated in the events that led up to 9/11 have moved on to bigger and better things, safe behind the security only available to those who play God with the lives of others.

The bottom line

The greatest challenge in our world is that the definitions of reality in the real world and the political world will continue to diverge until all politicians are forced to live the realities that they create for others.

Only then will they realize what needs to be done and how quickly it needs to be done in order to create a better world for everyone.

As James Freeman Clarke once said:

A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum

Minister Griffiths has apologized for his use of the f-bomb as noted earlier.

The Voice of the Rebel

“People are afraid, very afraid of those who know themselves. The masses do not want to be disturbed even though they may be in misery.” – Osho

“Yeah with one foot in the grave and one foot on the pedal, I was born a rebel” - Tom Petty “Rebels”

I ask a lot of questions.

People who know me know that my two favorite questions are “Why?” and “How do you know?”. 

I have mused about questions, the need to ask them, how to ask them, etc., many times, including but not limited to the following posts:

Improving the Result

Facts –The Downfall of Many Dreamers

Asking Questions That Get Answered

The Most Important Question of All

Solving Mysteries–The Direct Approach

If My Question Offends You ….

If You Can’t Explain It, Don’t Do It

The Secret of the “Soothsayer”

What Do You Stand For?

Solving Puzzles–Follow the Breadcrumbs

Ouch …. that is only a partial list.  I didn’t realize that I wrote about this subject THAT many times. :-)

I don’t just ask these questions of others.  I ask them of myself …. daily … oftentimes hourly … sometimes more frequently and with far greater intensity than the manner in which I ask others.

I have discovered that when one asks a lot of questions, it makes a lot of people nervous, especially if they have something to hide or they have been asking the same questions but the answer is eluding them.  You always know that something is amiss when the mere existence of a question angers or frightens people.

I remember getting in some hot water on Wall St. once when I pointed out that a particular server, which was required by law to never be allowed to fail, had no source of redundancy at all.  I didn’t realize it had no redundancy but by asking if I could see the redundancy built into the architecture, I created quite a fuss.  The response was almost like “ Alert. Alert. The new guy has dared to ask the forbidden question.  Which is easier – fixing the server or killing the new guy”.  It was close but I won the coin toss. :-)

My persistent asking of questions has produced a Life that I am filled with gratitude for.  In fact, the blessings that have filled my Life often cause me to ask questions about that also!  Ahhhh, the mind of the restless querent. :-)

It has also produced its share of complexities.

For example, I have discovered that ….

1. Musing about emergency preparedness and the importance of it gets you on the Department of Homeland Security’s official reading list (hi guys) merely for discussing it.  I wonder if that means that all Mormons are on their list also.

2. Musing about why a politician would take the action they took gets you investigated by the Department of Justice (anti-terrorism group), who later give you an all clear when they discover that no lines were crossed (I could have told you that in advance, guys). :-)

3. Musing about projects that my former father-in-law (a USAF colonel, now deceased) worked on also attracts some interesting “fans”.  Some are nutbars – some are seriously powerful people who don’t like such musings.  When powerful people reach out, it is not very pleasant.

4. Some business people who become nervous when too many questions are asked make it their singular focus to resist the people who are asking the questions.  Sometimes their business goes out of business as a result because they either wouldn’t answer the question or they turned their focus entirely on burying the question instead of answering it.

5. Related to the previous point, some people would rather see their projects fail than answer difficult questions or allow them to be asked.

6. Witness protection is not as exciting as it appears to be in the movies, for you or your family.

7. Once you pass 100 death threats, you learn to tell the difference between the credible ones (requiring law enforcement action) and the drive-by nutbars.

8. When you point out gaps in security (national security, airline or otherwise), a thank you or a correction of the gap is more appropriate than resisting or burying it.  Problems that are not solved outright always manifest later – usually larger, more impactful and more significant than when they were pointed out.  I-told-you-so’s when people’s lives are at stake bring no satisfaction.

9. Politicians who serve the people and not their own needs are becoming increasingly rare.

10. To not ask questions where people are always fearful that the unspeakable question will eventually derail them makes some people very paranoid.  It’s like the time I was working in a highly politicized environment and had a grievance filed against me for being too respectful.  Why such a grievance?  Because, as I was informed, when one is respectful in a difficult environment, it must mean that you are up to something and so you should stop being respectful immediately so as to allay further suspicion.  I mused about the event here.

11. According to one priest, God hates me.  Apparently the priest has a red phone to the Upper Chamber and issued this edict when I asked a couple of questions about God.  That was when I discovered that asking questions in certain faiths is not permitted …. ever.

12. Hiding behind reasons like “need to know basis”, “national security”, “I don’t need to answer because I am the expert here” or “just because” cause many more questions to be asked.

13. There are many people who, not having the courage to ask their own questions, prefer to prod others to ask questions on their behalf (it’s safer and lower risk for them), ride on the coattails of those with more courage or think that people who ask such questions lead exciting lives and should therefore be glommed onto to bring excitement into their own Life.  They are unnecessary weight that will only slow you down, distract you or get you into trouble.  PS – some are genuinely crazy.

There are many others I have learned but that’s the fun list.

Despite my passion, I play by the rules

The amusing thing is that while I ask questions for a living as a strategy guy, my musings here aren’t  meant to embarrass, reveal security gaps, highlight potentially illegal acts or anything else. 

My questions are always respectful of boundaries and I do my best to be respectful of the feelings of others.  That being said, some people will go out of their way to be offended or intimidated.  Others have massive egos or other issues that call them to defend against anyone who might be perceived as a threat.  I can’t help those people and make no apologies for the impact my questions have on them.

I tend to be pro business (I am a Wall St’er after all), pro government, pro military, pro democracy and the like.  I don’t subscribe to conspiracy theories, I have a strong sense of “live and let live” and I don’t make other people’s problems my own just for the fun of it.  I also don’t support or endorse people who think they are above the law nor do I believe that breaking the law to protest it is a viable option.

I believe highly in honoring confidentiality and respecting the principle of trust.  I don’t share things confided in me or protected by legal covenants – EVER.

I believe that things like national security, emergency preparedness and lifting / helping others are things that we all play a role in – not just the government.

I do not believe in violence but I don’t think that constantly turning the other cheek solves anything either because people take advantage of timidity and weakness.

However …..

I also believe that it is important to think and not allow others to think for you or to form your opinions for you in absence of facts and data.

Sometimes a question is asked innocently, with no knowledge that others fear the question and will despise the querent as a result.

Sometimes one is intrigued by a subject and merely wants to learn more.

And sometimes one sees the emperor walking down the street with no clothing on and while everyone else marvels at his “beautiful clothing”, one feels compelled to cry out and point out that he is naked.

And as a result, some people will cry foul or claim to be a victim merely because the question has exposed something that they would prefer to remain buried.

The ones who cry out the loudest are the ones who need to be examined much more closely.  I refer to this as the Vatican Effect (aka the Streisand Effect):

The more noise someone makes trying to hide or refute something, the more Life they give it, requiring a closer investigation as a result.

Dan Brown’s “The Da Vinci Code” would probably have  died in obscurity had the Vatican not set up a committee to investigate and stymie the popularity of the book.  Of course many people wanted to see why the Vatican would do such a thing and the rest is history regarding Dan Brown’s success.

It is not our right nor do we have the time to question everything

Many things are none of our business or are not on our Path of Purpose and so to question everything becomes a waste of time (both our time and the time of others) or an abuse of privilege.

But when we as individuals, groups or nations stop asking questions completely, we stop learning.

When you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die. - Lillian Smith

My questions often come in the form of cranial defibrillators.  But those are the best kind of all as Martin Luther King Jr. pointed out when he said:

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.

And so to the many on the receiving end of my questions, I am sorry to say I’m not dead yet. :-)

And yes, I am a rebel.

But in George Lucas’ world, the rebels are the good guys. :-)

What do you think of that?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Starbucks, Mission Statements and Authenticity

I was struck today by a conversation with some Starbucks staff as they helped each other cover their tattoos in order to hide them from the prying eyes of customers.

Apparently, a tattoo on a partner (Starbucks lingo for barista) cannot be exposed to the public no matter how small or insignificant.

One of the tattoos in question today appeared to be about 1/2 an inch long and about an inch or so wide.

It was also a highly offensive image.

It was an image of the Earth.

Exactly … I almost called the thought police myself, given the highly offensive nature of the image.

But seriously …..

The conversation caused me to think about Starbucks’ lengthy Mission Statement, which includes the following lines:

Together, we embrace diversity to create a place where each of us can be ourselves.

When we are fully engaged, we connect with, laugh with, and uplift the lives of our customers – even if just for a few moments.

We can be a force for positive action – bringing together our partners, customers, and the community to contribute every day.

It’s really about human connection.

It seems that Starbucks, if I understand the printed word versus actualization of same, encourages people to be themselves unless they work for Starbucks, in which case you can only be some semblance of yourself.

Now if staff were heavily tattooed, tattooed with offensives messages or images or heavily pierced, that could provide impetus to ban some things.

But a generic, across-the-board policy barring everything doesn’t seem to create a place where the baristas can be themselves.

This caused to me think about the many mission statements I have encountered over the years or the many companies that hang Successory-like posters everywhere while executing in exactly the opposite way than espoused by the mission statements and posters.

Mission statements and other material, when applied correctly, can motivate, inspire and establish clear paths of intention and execution.

When applied incorrectly, lived hypocritically or defined with fluffy, meaningless, immeasurable “noise”, they can demotivate, create cynicism (inside and outside the organization) or just make the organization look silly.

For those of you who embrace a mission statement, on a personal or corporate level, do you live it or do you allow it to make you look foolish / hypocritical?

Does it enable you or and / or your organization or does it merely serve as a source of entertainment for others like some of these Dilbert moments?

Because if you don’t know, you might as well hang up a poster like this (courtesy of Despair.com).

Do you know?

Are you sure?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

The Courage of Your Convictions

Being the asker of audacious questions that disrupt people (especially the questions “why” and “how do you know”), my intentions are often questioned by people who wonder “what’s in it for me” when I challenge people who act without a sense of authenticity, collaboration, direction, intention, strategy, values, morals, ethics and the like.

The singer Meatloaf, in his song “Everything Louder Than Everything Else”, expresses my intentions perfectly when he says:

And I ain't in it for the power,
And I ain't in it for my health
I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all
And I sure ain't in it for the wealth

But I'm in it till it's over and I just can't stop
If you wanna get it done,
You gotta do it yourself

The truth of it is that I am just wired this way.  While many people admire what they perceive to be courage on my part and think that it’s awesome to be audacious, it doesn’t come easy.

And while we have many examples of courage in the world, the reason courageous people stand out is because we have too few people willing to let their courage shine.

Unfortunately, there are also many people who know this and take advantage of it.

Contrasting Examples – Winning

Early in my career in NYC, I was given the task of taking care of a client who ate consultants for breakfast.  He was physically intimidating (height-wise and girth-wise), was verbally abusive to everyone and was subject to no HR oversight, the latter even fearing him and dropping complaints against him if they saw his name referenced in the complaint.

His project was failing, he had fired quite a number of consultants and employees and after my first week of absorbing the project that I had been parachuted into, I sat before him as he gave me his list of demands.

This was an extraordinary list.  Curing cancer, creating world peace, putting a manned colony on Mars and convincing Lindsay Lohan that not all press is good press would have been easier.

When he was finished, he leaned towards me and said “I need it by date x”.

“I can’t do that”, I replied, “It’s physically impossible”.

“No one says “no” to me”, he bellowed, his 6’4”, 400+ pound frame filling my field of vision as his sweaty face turned purple with anger.  He stared at me with the gaze that had convinced many people to change their “no” to a “yes” at their own peril.

“Well it looks like I just did”, I replied. “I can either say “yes” and fail to deliver as the ones before me have done or I can say “no” and negotiate with you what can be done by when.  After all, I’m here to make you look like a star, not to set you up for failure.”.

Was this an example of courage?

Not really - I was shaking in my boots as I listened to the words that came out of my mouth.

Did I just say that?

He seemed taken aback, paused and sat back in his chair, staring at me.

What ensued that day and in the coming months resulted in a product that won many awards internally and externally and was the only project in this organization’s history, then and since, that came in under budget and ahead of schedule.

When the day came for us to part company, my client put his arm around my shoulder and said “Do you know what I always liked about you, Harry?  You were the only guy who wasn’t afraid to say “no” to me.  Everyone else said “yes” and then failed me.  But you helped me by challenging me.”.

Was this courage?

Not really – I just thought it was the right thing to do, even when doing so was difficult, painful and yes …. even professionally lonely.

Contrasting Examples – Losing

Some years ago, I was a member of the board for a children’s charity and there were allegations that the Executive Director was siphoning money and consulting from the organization in preparation to launch his own business.

Everyone on the board knew it and were coming to me privately saying “you should say or do this or that”.  When I asked why they didn’t do it themselves, they all had a variety of answers that amounted to a pile of excuses about pleasing others, not wanting to make waves  or not wanting to offend others, both inside and outside the organization.

The truth was that they were hoping someone else had the courage to fix what they knew to be wrong but they wanted someone else to take all the risks in living out their convictions.  As powerful people, they did not want to be perceived as derailing the charity even though their actions would in fact have strengthened it.

When problems arose with the taxation authorities that the ED played down, I decided enough was enough and presented a case before the board.  While the board members were full of piss and vinegar privately, no one supported my motions publicly and I eventually resigned from the organization, notifying appropriate authorities regarding my thoughts on various matters.  I realized that such a dysfunctional organization could not be saved unless the board had the collective courage to save it.

A couple of months later, the board realized I was right and screwed up the courage to confront the ED with intent to fire him.  He reminded them that since they knew all along that he was breaking rules (and laws), he was going to rat them out as conspirators unless they rewarded him with a golden parachute.

Courage should have challenged the board to think “fool us once, shame on you, fool us twice, shame on us”.  But alas, their courage was fleeting.

Under pain of a threat that he was in no position to make, they paid the cash he was demanding.

He used the money, donated for children, to start his own company for his own gain.

Courage is not easy

We associate courage with overcoming fear, difficult circumstance et al - to do something uncommon that others might not do or to persevere through difficulty, not backing down just because someone else says we should.

While there are many “good” courageous people out there, there are unfortunately, many “not-so-good” courageous people out there, who use brazenness, threats, power and other things to drive their agenda – pushing it down the throats of people who won’t stand up for what matters to them.

And while the coffee shops of the world are filled with courageous intentions and passionate cries to “fix the world”, those intentions fade rapidly under the wilting punishment of those who are more courageous in driving their own agenda than those being steamrolled by the same agenda.  As F. Scott Fitzgerald once mused:

At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look; at forty-five they are caves in which we hide.

Unfortunately, courage is not limited to those who are well-intentioned and dedicated to the betterment of mankind.

While my Life has been a blessing of passionate, smart, service-oriented people, I have also had to stare down politicians, business leaders, church leaders, military figures and other interesting people who think that anyone who challenges their inappropriate intentions are individuals who must be silenced by any and all means (literally) before the masses discover what they are up to.

And when I run into one of those folks, I think of a line in Desiderata that says:

Even the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story.

That may be so.

But when “the dull and the ignorant” are driving an agenda that either serves their needs at the expense of others or actually threatens to harm us in some way, then we need to decide if we have the courage to put up a hand and say “Before you / we proceed, I need to ask a question” or the more audacious “Stop – I don’t accept this”.

Otherwise, the story of the dull and ignorant may become our story.

And depending on their intentions, it may not be a story that we appreciate being included in …. or playing a starring role in.

Dag Hammarskjold once said:

Never for the sake of peace and quiet deny your convictions.

When we deny our convictions, the peace and quiet that we think we have earned will be of short duration.

I think that true, sustainable peace and quiet comes later - after we have exercised our courage.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds. - Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)

Addendum

While my examples suggest that courage is all about action, sometimes great courage is needed to take no action when others demand it.  Acts such as patience, surrender or trusting someone else, when warranted, may take immense courage to carry out.  The potential to demonstrate courage is unique to the situation and the individuals involved.

Meanwhile, we now have people in Canada developing apps like You’re So Rude.  The app is for people who don’t have the courage to stand up to rude people directly but instead, allows the affronted to send an anonymous email to the offender.  It doesn’t take much courage to do things in anonymity and as a result, the actions produced will have little if any real effect. 

As a Canadian who has often remarked on the passive-aggressive nature of some Canadians, apps like this don’t help negate the argument for the existence of such passive-aggressiveness. :-)  However, I wonder if such apps will do nothing more than enable cyber bullying, an act that takes NO courage to perform but can often take significant courage to endure.

Wikipedia, Pornography and Bomb Making

As a long time opponent of most forms of censorship and a life-long student of the human experience, I am curious about something that I am hoping someone can explain to me.

Wikipedia has been embroiled in many a court action over the past few years regarding the use of explicit pornographic images.  They have also made a concerted effort to remove them where possible, especially in the area of child pornography. 

Many a website, including giants such as Megaupload who enabled the piracy of digital content, including movies and music, have been shut down because commercial entertainment entities were being denied their royalties.

Hundreds of websites selling counterfeit products have been shut down by federal agents after ripping off consumers and authentic merchandise vendors.

And yet. the Al Qaeda magazine Inspire, a hate-filled diatribe that promotes violence against Americans and allegedly provides suggestions, ideas and plans on how to carry out acts of violence is still widely available on Wikipedia.  This is the case even though in places like England, mere possession of the magazine can result in prosecution.

Apparently included in one of the issues are plans on how to use pressure cookers as a bomb component to hurt Americans.

And now we have the events of the Boston Marathon and preliminary information that such a device was used to kill and wound so many innocent people.

As a strategy guy, I understand the concepts of follow-the-money, all-things-for-a-reason and all of that.

But I can’t understand why Wikipedia is allowed to present all of this material given everything else that authorities have shut down so quickly.  I even sent an email regarding this material to various government agencies almost two years ago and never received a reply.

Personally, regardless of my beliefs about censorship and information sharing, I would NEVER allow anyone to use anything associated with me to enable people to commit atrocities or acts of violence.

And yet this American organization allows and enables such actions.

Since we are so quick to shut down websites that adversely impact other organization’s financial well-being, why can’t we shut down content that threatens someone’s personal well-being?

I think there is a consistency / priorities issue here that warrants an explanation.

I also think that when it comes to doing what it takes to minimize the level of terrorism we face, if we really cared and were sincere in our intentions, then we would remove obvious sources of information for terrorist wannabes.

I also also think that we can never be perfectly safe and that we face a difficult balancing act when it comes to security versus freedom as I noted in Boston: Freedom, Security and Difficult Choices.

And finally, I think that everything happens for a reason.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum:

In my home province of Newfoundland and Labrador, MHA Gerry Rogers was found in contempt of the House yesterday for being a member of a Facebook group where someone else had made threatening remarks against the Premier of the province.  According to the Speaker of the House, Ms. Rogers is considered to be automatically condoning such remarks merely because she is a member of the Facebook group and therefore she should apologize immediately (which she refused to do, as would I).

While I recognize that we are the company that we keep, if any of us are considered to be automatically condoning any social media content just because we can be loosely associated with it, then how do we explain allowing Wikipedia to continue to carry such content, given how many of us have contributed to its content somewhere along the way.

A slippery slope indeed.

Addendum 2 – April 23, 2013

Officials finally admit that the Boston bombers may have gotten their ideas and plans for the explosives from Al Qaeda’s Inspire magazine. 

Are we really doing what we can to protect ourselves?  The new CISPA bill now before the Senate will allow employers to demand social media passwords from employees / employment candidates under the guise of “security” while Al Qaeda’s bomb making plans are on Wikipedia.

Everything happens for a reason. I just wish I knew what this one is.  I have some ideas but they are best left private …. for now.

Addendum 3 – May 9, 2013

It is intriguing that shortly after viable 3D gun plans are made available on the web, they are removed at the request of the Pentagon as noted here.  Meanwhile, the bomb making plans remain available.  Curious indeed.

The Adventures of Mirror Man

Scientists have demonstrated for years that humans mimic other humans.  While many of us scoff at the “monkey see, money do” mentality, get angry at people who are “sucking up to us” or allow our egos to be stroked by such mimicry, it is a natural human experience that most of us should understand on a better level in order to be better people.

Being mirrored by someone who has been practicing the art for years is an interesting experience to witness and feel.

One person years ago labeled me as Mirror Man because he thought I had mastered the art.  He also noted that  the powers of Mirror Man can lift you up or tear you down …. depending on how good or evil you are. :-)

For example ….

People who don’t like to be pushed into decisions find that I am equally relaxed about not forcing them into one (as long as the time is available to think, of course) and they appreciate that I give them the space to muse about appropriate decisions.

Others who are aggressive in strategic execution find that my non-compromising passion for successful execution built upon respect, transparency, collaboration and intelligent strategy strongly resonates with their outlook to create success.

When one’s desires and actions are reflected in the desires and actions of others, we find resonance in purpose and results (not necessarily style, but a difference in style can be a necessary thing).

However, what happens when one’s stated desires are not in resonance with one’s actions and in turn, the values of Mirror Man?

Well … then it gets complicated.

When one talks about being audacious about success, implores everyone around them to be the same and then does little to lead by example, results-focused superheroes like Mirror Man can be perceived as an enemy instead of a friend.

When one talks about values like respect and collaboration while tearing the limbs off others, then Mirror Man is probably not going to be found in your corner defending your actions.

When a leader chants the mantra of transparency while living a Life of mystery, intrigue and secrets, Mirror Man’s style of authenticity will probably rub you the wrong way.

A leader who espouses the importance of strong strategy and tactics while executing with reckless abandon will probably find that Mirror Man has long left the building.

And when a leader chooses a style of bullying as his / her means of inspiring results, then they find that Mirror Man is the immovable object who doesn’t tolerate such behavior.

Authenticity is a choice … and offers an invitation

To be authentic, to be congruent in thought, word and action, attracts others to us that help move us towards mutually agreed upon results.

When relationships are in congruence, the results and the great memories that are produced last a lifetime.  Such memories bring smiles and tears of joy every time one reflects upon them.

Conversely, when one is not congruent in thought, word and action, both within ourselves and with others, we may perceive others as being obstacles to our success or impediments to manifesting our dreams when in fact such events are a call to look within instead of consistently blaming everyone else.

And when we have looked within, gotten over the anger or sadness and learned our lesson, then the calling card of the Mirror Man makes sense:

If my letter made you sad, I am not sorry I wrote it. At first I was sorry, because it made you sad, but you were sad only for a short time. Now I am happy, not because you were made sad, but because your sorrow made you change your lives. - 2 Corinthians 7:8-9a. (NCV)

The old mantra “Do as I say (or demand) … not as I do” doesn’t work in business …..

…. or in Life.

In service and servanthood,

Mirror Man (Harry)

Wanted: The Real You

In my line of work, I run into a lot of pretenders – people striving to impress or woo me by pretending to be that which they are not. 

They want to demonstrate, for a variety of reasons, that they are more successful in business than they really are, that they have more faith than they really do, that their relationships are stronger than they really are, that they have more belief in themselves than they really do, that they have Life “under control” more than they really do, that they like to collaborate and share credit more than they really do, etc.

Whew …. that’s a lot of pretending.  Living one Life well in today’s world takes a lot of effort.  Living two lives well is beyond most people’s ability to do marginally at best.

They project these false pretences in the hope that it will resonate with the things that matter to me or in the hope that I won’t be disappointed in them.

Unfortunately, I recognize this quickly and see right through them.

After all, there was a point in my Life when I was just like them, striving to impress people around me at any personal cost (and personal sacrifice).  It was a pretty painful, exhausting way to live until I discovered the power and freedom that came from being myself no matter what the world thought (or that I thought the world wanted). As noted in the Book of Romans:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. – Romans 12:2a (NIV)

Unfortunately, living a life of phony projections tends to not get us anywhere but we do it anyway (and often repeatedly), even when our actions demonstrate our contradictory authentic self.

And because of this, we eventually get caught, like the guy in the following story.

A young businessman had just started his own firm.  He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office.  Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.  Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

When we pretend to be that which we are not, whether it is to impress someone, to fool someone (or ourselves), to deny something, to hide something or for any other reason, we are denying ourselves an opportunity to be the best that we can be because we are putting more effort into being someone else than into being ourselves.

Such false personas often run out of momentum pretty quickly since it takes a lot of effort to be someone else when being ourselves should come more naturally. 

When we deny ourselves an opportunity to be who we really are, we also deny others the opportunity to see the strengths, gifts and talents that we REALLY have.

And those strengths, gifts and talents are often far more amazing than the ones that we pretend to have or that we prefer to project.

We just need to believe it.

So it’s ok to be you.

In fact, it’s wonderful to be you.

The rest of us find the real you more amazing and more authentic than the fake you anyway. :-)

And you will find that when the energy used in projecting the false you is converted into passion to live the real you, there is no limit to what you can achieve for yourself and others.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

The Quest for Authenticity

I live in a professional world that has, as one of its core foundational components, the importance of secrecy and confidentiality.  It is an interesting and complicated world, a world where the decisions that are made have the potential to create or destroy the dreams and aspirations of many people who will never know who I am, who my colleagues are or who the organizations are that we serve.  It is also a world that cannot be shared.  When people ask me what I am doing there is very little I can share, which, when coupled with other life events, eventually wires people like me to be extremely private individuals.

And as I acknowledge the impact that many of us have, I realize something else that is also an underlying part of the role that I play.

For many people whom I will never meet, the role I and others in my space play in their lives seems almost “God-like” – having the power to create and destroy at will.  Many who are affected by the decisions we make will never know where the miracle or disaster originated from.

They may be awash in gratitude.

They may struggle to understand why this has happened to them.

Acknowledging this creates an interesting structural tension within me as I contemplate the ramifications of this, namely:

• How do we know that we make the best decisions we can?
• What qualifies us to make these decisions that have such far-reaching impact?
• When we make decisions, who benefits from them the most?
• Are the people who benefit the most the ones who should benefit the most?
• Do we serve our fellow man in the best way possible?
• Do we do the best we can with what we have?

And as I contemplate these and other questions, I think about the “Quest for Authenticity Tour” that myself and my wonderful friend Leonard Szymcazk (author of “The Roadmap Home: Your GPS to Inner Peace”) have discussed for a couple of years.

The notion of the tour came as a result of discussion around the fact that a lot of people perceive many things in the world as being inauthentic.  Authenticity has become a bit of a buzzword these days and we can all think of examples of authentic and inauthentic things.

However, one of the many things I have learned from Leonard is that we often project onto the world that which we perceive within ourselves.

And as I think about the intentions of the Authenticity Tour, the thoughts I have been reflecting upon and Leonard’s wisdom, I realize that the Authenticity Tour was not born from the need to explore whether things in the world are authentic or not.

It was born from the fact that I was wrestling with my own sense of authenticity.

As I think about this and discuss it with others, I realize that it is a journey that many people are on.

While many are on this path of contemplation, few will acknowledge it publicly for fear of being vilified by their peers, ostracized from their career path or abandoned by those who are important to them.

But if we never take a moment to ask the questions out loud regarding:

• Am I doing what I have been created to do?
• Am I doing it to the best of my ability with the gifts, strengths and talents I have been blessed with?”
• Are my thoughts, words and deeds in total congruence?,

can we truly claim to be authentic, especially as we judge others who in our eyes are not authentic? 

If your answer to these questions is truly “yes”, then you are blessed and in the minority.  Keep driving it – you are a model to others.

However, if your answer to any of them is “no”, then ask yourself another question:

Why not?

The Quest for Authenticity is not a tour – it is a journey that most of us are on, a journey we share, a journey where we learn from others and others learn from us – but only if we allow it.  It is also a journey where we should look within before we judge the authenticity of others.

And when we reach that point where we are not afraid to share unconditionally, to express ourselves unconditionally, to be open to learning from others unconditionally and to love unconditionally, at that point we will be as close to authenticity as we can get.

It will be at that point that our greatest potential will be revealed to ourselves and others.

How goes YOUR journey?

In service and servanthood, a fellow traveler on the quest for authenticity.

Harry

To see my Musings-in-a-Minute entry for “The Quest for Authenticity”, please click here.

What Do You Stand For?

Deep within our heart and soul, many of us have something that we believe in or dream about when it comes to our potential and Life purpose.  We tell compelling, riveting stories to our friends over a coffee about how “someday I’m going to ……..”.

I’ll bet you have one of these compelling stories.

Are you living your story?

How does your dream stand up to the following questions?

1. What are you willing to do to prove your dream is possible and even necessary for you to accomplish?
2. What would you do if you discovered that the world is actually waiting for you to embrace your story and bring it to Life?
3. Do you have the courage to share your story with others in a forum other than in whispered conversations amongst a small group of friends?
4. Are you willing to expose your dream to public scrutiny, knowing that it can stand on its own merits and perhaps be stronger as a result of public scrutiny?
5. Are you willing to collaborate with others to bring your story and theirs to fruition?
6. Is your dream in alignment with your values and beliefs?
7. Will accomplishing your dream make you proud of the legacy you are leaving to others?
8. Do you realize that living your dream will inspire others?
9. How will you be remembered if you had the courage to live your dream?

It’s Tougher Than It Looks

I find that many people who have a compelling story cannot answer most of these questions with a positive answer. 

By dreaming one story but living a different one, they are not being authentic to themselves or to others

It’s like the paradox of living in today’s world, where people are encouraged to take the short, quick-hit, impatient view of getting anything they want right away (and going into debt to do it) while being encouraged to take a long term, patient view of investing for their retirement.  We put opposing principles inside someone’s head and then we act surprised when they can’t do both.

The challenge is that the longer people choose to be inauthentic to themselves and others, the lesser the chance that their story will ever see the light of day.

…. the lesser the chance that they will be able to live their Life in congruence with their perceived purpose or to even know what their purpose is.

…. the lesser the chance that their story will have an opportunity to impact the world or to inspire others.

It’s not easy, is it?

Oftentimes, being authentic is difficult or seemingly impossible to achieve consistently.

Many times we can justify why it is safer or easier to not be authentic.

The Danger of Inauthenticity

The problem is that every time we are not authentic with ourselves or others, we weaken our belief in our dreams and therefore weaken our potential.  Eventually we may believe we have no potential or purpose at all.

Try this: Ask someone WHY they think they exist on this planet or what their purpose is.  Most people cannot answer this question at all.  Can you? 

At some point, we invent another persona that has unlimited potential.  After all, we reason, “who I am is of no interest or value to others, so let me see what the populace-at-large likes and I will promote and become that person”.

I know several well known self-empowerment experts who promote to their customers that if you think, say and do as they do, you will live an empowered life like they do.

The unfortunate secret is that these “experts” are financially, emotionally, relationally and spiritually broke.

I think promoting a façade of success when you don’t have it is to promote a lie and I tell them this (which makes them angry).  When you take someone’s money to teach them these “secrets of success”, you are stealing from them because you can’t actually prove the system works.

When I explain to these “experts” that they should be honest and transparent with their customers, they tell me they cannot do that.  They even write inspiring stories about being honest and transparent and live the opposite way – the ultimate level of inauthenticity.

And success eludes them while they tell others that success overwhelms them.

Perhaps if they had the courage to be themselves and not work so hard to be someone else, then success might follow.

They fear that to reveal their true selves would be an embarrassment.

I think that having the courage to be authentic would inspire others. 

New Year’s Resolutions

This is the season for New Year’s Resolutions.

This is the time of year when most people resolve to accomplish the same list of things they resolved to accomplish last year, the year before, etc.

The primary reason most of these resolutions fall flat is that they are not hooked into what inspires the person making them and for this reason, they lose their sizzle and the person eventually falls back into the same old routine.

Perhaps if we realized that our story, as big or small as we think it is, could serve as an inspiration to others, we might be more inclined to resolve to do whatever it takes to make our story a reality.

Perhaps if we decided to embrace ourselves and our story instead of being someone else with a story designed to make other people happy or to impress them, then we would have some real things to work towards.

Maybe then we would discover our true purpose – the answer to the questions “Why am I here?” and “Why do I matter?”.

Maybe then we would have real, inspiring things to work towards that matter to ourselves at the deepest level of who we are.  Maybe then we could make tangible resolutions that would help us move towards our true self; a self that inspires others and that leaves a positive impact on others.

Now there’s a resolution worth keeping.

I know you would keep such resolutions.

So what are you waiting for?

Resolve to be true to yourself – it is the greatest gift to yourself and to others.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

For my Musings-in-a-Minute version of “What Do You Stand For?”, please click here.

Traveling Medicine Shows in the 21st Century

Many of us have seen movies, read books or are aware of other references to what years ago was referred to as the traveling medicine show.

In the late 1800’s in the US, people hawking magical elixirs and powders would do so using a fast-paced, pressure-filled sales pitch that was accompanied by performing artists.

This blend of entertainment and product promotion was used to sell medicines that did very little of any use (and some were actually harmful).  This presentation style later became the original models for early Madison Avenue advertising agencies once radio and later on, television, arrived.

Years ago, people were often delighted when such traveling shows infrequently came to town.

The Shows Are Still Here

In the 21st century, such shows still exist.  The only difference is that now they are on-demand, appearing within your own home whenever you feel like watching them.

We have all seen advertising that is slightly over the top.  Things like mini food choppers that make you excited to eat again, rags that can soak up small lakes and other things are humorous to watch, sometimes functional and not expensive to buy.  If you are not happy with them, it hasn’t set you back too much.

However, there is a more insidious form of medicine show out there.  I’m referring to the people promoting products or concepts that allegedly contain miraculous powers and if you get on their band wagon, you will get to participate in a miracle-in-the-making. 

We have all seen these in various forms.  For example, there are people promoting chocolate that people claim cures cancer, diabetes and anything else that ails you.

There are people who promote mystical thought processes that, once you are exposed to the secret (no pun intended), will take you to a new level of existence in the universe.  These thought processes, interestingly enough, can also cure cancer, depression and anxiety but can also magically attract money, beautiful women, high-speed cars and whatever else you can conceive.

So Why Do People Buy This Stuff?

All of these products have customer testimonials describing how all of these outrageous claims are true.  When people see these testimonials, they assume “well, the claims must be true – a person named TJ in Arizona can vouch for it”.

What I find intriguing about all of this is that people buy this stuff without questioning it. 

And if you question it, people look at you in shock.  Why would you question it – who would ever make up such a bogus testimonial and who would ever sell a product that doesn’t do what it claims?

Well, just as the snake oil salesman would sell you an elixir with highly toxic mercury in it, people will sell you anything today.

The only thing that such people need are people who will buy anything.

Interestingly enough, if you take the “magic chocolate” and a high-end chocolate bar from your local supermarket, shave them down, put them in unmarked envelopes and send them to a lab for analysis, the reports will indicate that the content in both envelopes is the same.  Someone I know in the food industry did just that for an experiment.

So what makes such a product bogus?  The “magic chocolate” costs 3, 4 or more times as much as the regular chocolate and when was the last time a regular chocolate bar manufacturer listed “cures cancer” on the package?

The Secret

By the same token, people are making a fortune selling things like “The Secret” and other similar things.  I have often asked people who promote this stuff “why do people make more money selling The Secret than living it” and they just look at me blankly or respond with some wild-eyed response that makes me wonder if Jim Jones is sitting across the table from me.

There is also a danger in things like “The Secret” and other similar offerings.  For the kazillions of people who try these and discover they don’t work for them, they are additionally humiliated when they realize how much they paid some expert to help them and they feel like a failure when the concept that “is so simple that any idiot could do it” is actually beyond their ability to master. 

For some, their world collapses around them as they sit and think “positive thoughts”.

Some of these self-proclaimed experts also come up with some pretty unusual concepts as a result of their thinking process.

Take this video by Jeremy Bennett, (note on April 24/ 2010: Mr. Bennett has removed the video) for example, where he claims that by loving your anxiety, you can cure it.  In the video, he claims anxiety actually loves hate and because we allegedly hate anxiety, we fuel it with our hate and so simply by loving anxiety, it will fade away.

Ahhhhhh …..  if it were only that easy.

I have no issue with people promoting unusual thoughts out there – it is a free world where the exchange of knowledge must be allowed to flow freely.

However, when I watched this video by Mr. Bennett today, I challenged him by posting some comments under the video; comments along the lines of how some of his facts are incorrect and some of them are not based on any research or accepted theories.  I also expressed my thought that this video wasn’t very authentic for a number of reasons.

His response was to delete my messages and then to block me from writing any more comments.

Anything Real Can and Should be Defended

I believe that when someone has an interesting theory or idea to share, it should stand up to close scrutiny and questioning.  After all, if the promoter truly believes their material to be true, won’t they be happy to defend their ideas?

When people are afraid to answer questions and they don’t want others to see the questions either, then I question whether they have anything real at all.

Maybe …. just maybe ….. they are just selling another elixir.

When I was a kid, we used to be amazed at the stuff we could buy for 25 cents from a comic book: things like genuine x-ray glasses, wrist bracelets that gave you the strength to “karate-chop” a thick piece of wood and books that promised insight into the ancient wisdom of the universe.

While today’s technology is far more advanced, when it comes to being gullible, sometimes I wonder how much we have progressed.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

PS On his website, Mr. Bennett claims to have trained members of the White House.  Perhaps his theories on curing anxiety are part of the new Health Care bill.  I hope not.

April 21/2010 – I noticed that since my blog was published, Mr. Bennett has renamed his video to “Jeremy Bennett's 1st Two Steps To What Helped Him Manage His Anxiety” from the originally named “Unorthodox Cure For Anxiety”.

April 22/2010 - I noticed that Mr. Bennett just added a blue banner to his video citing "ALWAYS seek professional help as soon as possible. There are trained professionals that could change your life."

This is a good banner - I am glad that my blog and the comments and urgings of others are bringing a level of authenticity to his presentation. It's content is still questionable in my opinion but at least people are reminded to seek professional help and this is important.

April 23/2010 – Mr. Bennett has removed references from his bio regarding being an advisor to the White House and working with the stars of the movie “What The Bleep”. 

April 24/2010 – Mr. Bennett removed the video (the link I have now shows a “Video has been removed by the user” message.  I guess the video did not stand up to public scrutiny.

For my Musings-in-a-Minute version of “Traveling Medicine Shows in the 21st Century”, please click here.

Authenticity – The Emperor Is Naked

Do you remember the story of Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Emperor’s New Clothes”?  It is a story of an Emperor who is duped by shysters who convince him to wear clothing that has so many wonderful powers that the clothing is invisible to people who lack the intelligence and insight to see it.  Of course we know that there was no invisible clothing and the Emperor goes sauntering down the street completely naked.

Everyone witnessing the parade, not wanting to look like an idiot, marvels out loud about how beautiful the clothing is.

It takes the innocence of a child, someone who doesn’t feel the pressure to tell people what they want to hear, who calls it as it is and thus alerts everyone else to the truth.  The Emperor is in fact naked.

I wonder if we face many situations where we are afraid to exclaim that the “Emperor is not wearing any clothing” for fear of how people will receive the message and for fear of what the repercussions could be.

Airport Security and The Emperor’s New Clothes

This thought came to mind this morning as I listened to people on the radio discuss airport security.

Airport security keeps the "amateur nut" from doing stupid things on aircraft.  That being said, a security system is only as strong as the weakest link. 

I travel quite a bit and have witnessed in airports where airline crews go around security.  Incidents such as the EgyptAir crash and the Air Canada copilot who needed to be restrained on a flight to London last year show that flight crews are human also and can place aircraft in jeopardy.

I watched in Toronto as a cleaning woman with her cart was sent around security so she could make her rounds inside the secure area.  She may be clean from a security standpoint but if someone observes her daily routine, something could be planted on her cart to be picked up on the inside by someone else.  I have been given tours of airport grounds without going through security and could have left something on the grounds for someone else to pick up.

Suicide bombers in the Middle East are now putting PETN (the material used by the individual on the Amsterdam to Detroit flight) INSIDE their body.  This will not be picked up by the new imaging systems that governments are insisting on installing

So the measures are good.  However, let's not get so complacent as to believe that the measures will catch everything as some officials want us to believe.  The tighter we grip something, the more likely we believe things are secure.  The truth is that, like grains of sand, the tighter we squeeze our fist, the more likely that some things will slip through. 

Air travel will never be completely safe and we need to accept that instead of being shocked when incidents arise.

Consulting and The Emperor’s New Clothes

When I look within the spheres of influence that I move in, whether it be in the professional consulting world or in many of the volunteer initiatives I participate in, the Emperor doesn’t just have some invisible clothing – he has a whole wardrobe that grows by the day.  I have many examples I could give but in doing so, my blog would be hundreds of pages long and I might inadvertently violate a few nondisclosure agreements along the way.

Suffice to say, many people tell their clients exactly what they want to hear and not what they need to hear.

Conversely, some clients create projects where the message they want to hear is the deliverable.

In either situation, no one is doing anyone else any favors.  In fact, they are just adding to the wardrobe of invisible clothing while telling the world that the world would be an idiot if they didn’t see the beautiful patterns and materials that the invisible clothing is made of.

In other words, they are sending more and more people into the world totally naked.

Perhaps that person is themselves. 

Perhaps that person is you.

If you are such a client, demand better from those offering advice to you.

If you provide guidance to someone else, insist that you be allowed to call it as you see it instead of providing something that the client wants to hear.

To not demand and expect authenticity in information exchange is to not empower people to make appropriate decisions in a timely, effective fashion.

Receivers of poor information find that they are not in demand after awhile as their poor choices are a reflection of the poor information.

Providers of poor information find that they eventually are not in demand either as their resume fills with one failed client after another.

Failure, like success, is a process that takes time to develop.

Do your best to demand authenticity in every exchange you have.

Otherwise, you may find yourself parading around your sphere of influence totally naked.

In a metaphoric way, of course.

In service and servanthood.

Harry

 

To read my Musings-in-a-Minute version of “Authenticity – The Emperor is Naked”, please click here.

 

PS There is a wonderful book, “The Ugly Duckling Goes to Work” by Mette Norgaard, that readers of this blog may find quite interesting and thought provocative.

 

 

When I first read this book, I could tell by its opening line that I was in for a wonderful voyage. 

Work can bring us alive, but it can also kill us.

Thus opens a fascinating book that evokes a fascinating structural tension in the reader – the nostalgia of revisiting childhood storybook favorites versus the A-HA moments of enlightenment one receives when discovering fascinating insight into our personal or professional lives.

Taking six of Andersen’s stories, including “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, the author, Mette Norgaard, shows how a story enjoyed by children has deep insight into the life we live as adults.

I highly recommend this book to everyone and have given many clients a copy as a gift.