Character, Values and the Price of Success

Knowledge will give you power, but character, respect. - Bruce Lee

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. - Albert Einstein

No amount of technical administrative skill in laboring for the masses can make up for lack of nobility of personal character in developing relationships. - Stephen Covey

In the middle of a large deal, my team and I had the opportunity today to meet with one of the top lawyers in the mergers and acquisition space.  With only a few minor minefields left to navigate, we were told that this person would be one of the best people to represent us in bringing our “little baby” in for a soft landing.

As is always the case, I always perform significant due diligence before such meetings and I was cautioned by more than one person to be careful of a peculiarity that this person had and so I went to the meeting as prepared as I possibly could be.

Sure enough, part way through the meeting and in the middle of his song and dance about why he was the best person to represent us, he suddenly started speaking with a fake Australian accent, telling us about how his clients had lived in fear and terror in such deals until he came along and “saved the day”.

The accent threw me off and I thought perhaps he was having a stroke but then the moment I had been warned about materialized.  He reached into his bag and said “And when the other side brings a knife to the negotiating table, I say ‘That’s not a knife, this is a knife’” and he laid a large, Crocodile Dundee-like knife on the boardroom table.

No one said anything for a moment before I leaned over the table and said, “This is a friendly acquisition.  Why do I need you to bring a knife, even if only symbolically, to the table?”

“You missed my point”, he said, somewhat aloofly, “I help people to get over their fear by showing that I have their back.”

“Really?”, I asked, “Why do you think I should accept the insult that you believe we would be shaking in fear without you or that intimidation is the best way to complete a friendly business deal?”

He said nothing and then I picked up his knife and asked him, “Would you put this knife up to your throat and shave yourself with it?”

“Of course not”, he replied, “That would be crazy.”

I nodded and laid his knife on the table.  I had been warned of his presentation style and props and so I reached down into my bag and retrieved something specifically for the moment.

I laid my straight razor on the table beside his knife, its viciously sharp, unforgiving blade gleaming in the boardroom light. 

“I shaved with this blade this morning”, I said, “Now tell me why I should be afraid of whatever it is I’m supposed to be afraid of and how you are going to guide me past this fear.  And when you are done explaining that, I want you to tell us how intimidation trumps respectful dialog.”

I paused before continuing.  “My point’, I said, “Is that suggestions of fear or intimidation becoming part of our team and how we interact with others are not welcome here.  If you have anything else to offer, let’s continue otherwise the meeting is over.”

The meeting continued for an hour or so before we decided to take a break.

Everyone left the room except for one of his team who stayed behind.

As I caught up on my emails, she started some idle chatter about the need for the team to be at the airport before evening but as luck would have it, she was staying overnight.

I made a perfunctory response but she pressed the point, indicating that perhaps we could get together for dinner and drinks to smooth over any misunderstandings between myself and her boss.

I focused on my emails and she went for broke.

The offer, which I won’t get into here was direct and specific.  The only thing I didn’t know was whether I would be allowed to stay in her hotel room for the rest of the night or if I would be dismissed after “the smoothing of misunderstandings” process had been completed.  I also wasn't sure what complexity the wedding band on her finger would offer, if any.  It didn't seem to get in her way.

Plan B was in progress, given that the meeting itself was not going well.

I took out my phone, Googled some of the sex shops in the area and showed her the search results.

“Here’s what you need”, I said, directly, “The stuff they have in these stores is more in alignment with what you need.  They don’t have any character or values either – they just exist.”

She was very angry and said that she would take this up with her boss.

“Go ahead”, I replied, pointing to the device in the center of the conference room table, “You forgot that we are recording this session today.  I will play your offer to the team and invite you to explain it.”

She left the room without a sound but returned a few minutes later with “Crocodile Dundee”.

In the confrontation that ensued, it turned out that he wasn’t unhappy with what I said to her.  However, he was VERY unhappy with the fact that I had turned her down.

“I get it”, I said, feeling my blood pressure rising, “You’re both deal closers.  She closes the deal with me and then you close the larger deal for me.”

“Whatever it takes”, he replied.

I leaned in towards him, close enough to smell his cheap cologne.

“I don’t do whatever it takes”, I said, staring him in the eye, “I do whatever my values, ethics and character call me to do to deliver the best result possible for everyone around me.”

At the moment, the team began returning to the conference room.

I turned to the team and announced that we had decided that it was in our best interests to not work together and that he and his entourage would be returning to the airport ahead of schedule.

There were a few cries of surprise and as he left, he held out his hand.

“Sorry”, I replied, “I only shake the hand of people I respect.”

He left and I explained to the team what had happened, replaying the recording of both her offer and the lawyer’s subsequent challenge to me.

I wonder how many more out there are like him …

… or who don’t have the courage or the willpower to turn people like him away.

Meanwhile …. related and not ….

I had two interesting conversations with colleagues in the last week regarding similar subjects.

In one, a Government Minister whom I have the HIGHEST regard for in regards to character, values, ethics, Life purpose, service to others and other noble attributes, lamented that their results were being compromised because of the fine line they walk, where the balancing act of accomplishing great things for their constituents while towing the party line was difficult to manage, with the latter being complicated by the skullduggery, backstabbing and yes, adultery going on all around the Minister.

I challenged the Minister to live by their character and values (which far outshine the Minister’s colleagues).  I will be curious to see what happens next - courage requires small steps at first.  However, I was encouraged today when I received an SMS from the Minister, quoting Ruth Gordon:

Courage is very important  Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.

In the other conversation, a friend of mine, a subject matter expert on guiding organizations through change and transition, suddenly found herself being talked around in a meeting otherwise attended by only men.  Even though SHE was the subject matter expert in the room, they talked around her as if she didn’t exist.

She reached out to me for advice on how to deal with such ignorance in the 21st century and this is what I told her.

“Go to a local adult store and buy the largest phallus you can find.  Bring it to the meeting but leave it put away.  If the same level of disrespect occurs and you can’t get yourself inserted into the conversation, take it out, place it on the table and express gratitude that you brought yours to the meeting also and thus deserve to be heard.”

“Or”, I continued, “buy the smallest one you can find, take it out during the meeting and make an observation that having presented the largest one in the room, you now have a right to speak and to be heard.”

After she expressed gratitude that I used comedy to give her the best laugh she had had all day, I replied that I wasn’t joking.

We must always take a stand against the ignorant and those who choose to limit the result of others who champion character, values, ethics, respect and higher standards.

We must do it directly and respectfully.

But we must do it.

The price we pay for not doing it is too high and grows every time we choose not to take a stand.

The Bottom Line

In thinking through my event today, I wonder how many people would have taken the lawyer’s assistant up on her less than generous offer, especially if they thought they could do it without anyone knowing about it.

I could have accomplished that easily and no one would have been the wiser.

But I would have known - how could I demand that others live to a higher standard if I chose to live to the contrary?.

And an Authority that judges me would have known.

I wonder how many people may have turned down the original offer but then succumbed to the pressure that her boss attempted to exert under the confident “whatever it takes” banner.

Success is a tempting mistress and human frailty has undermined many a good human being.

The point is that when people collaborate with us or represent us, their character becomes a projection of ours.  So when they sit before others at the boardroom table, no matter how much I try to live by a higher standard, the only thing the other people in the boardroom would remember me for would be this person’s character and values …. or lack thereof.

We are the company that we keep or whom we allow to speak on our behalf.

This lawyer’s projection on my behalf wouldn’t be acceptable to me.

Would it be acceptable to you that someone else would do “whatever it takes” in order to get something done?

Are you willing to literally do “whatever it takes”?

Are you willing to reap the harvest or pay the price for how you live your character and values (or how someone else represents them)?

Are you sure?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum

I looked up her husband and discovered that he has a successful practice in Toronto.  I wonder what would happen if I sent him a copy of the recording of his wife "in action".  Would he be offended, hurt or would he respond with a "So?  What's your point?"?

The young lady was also potentially setting herself up.  What if I had agreed to the rendezvous just to use her and then turn down their offer to represent us?  What if I was a nut who caught her by surprise and hurt her?

Then there's the possibility that if I had succumbed to such an offer, a recording of the event could have placed me (or them) in a professionally compromising position.

And finally, what if we had agreed to team up with this bunch of miscreants and the same tactics were used with the people we were negotiating with, potentially costing me a sale, a friendship or both?

The sad reality is that they likely had enough previous experience with some sense of success to believe that this was going to be a successful option today.   What does this say about the people they collaborated with in the past?

So many possibilities, all of them wrong, but the possibilities having been created with the first terrible choice.

Coal miners often had a canary in the mines with them and if the canary died, it would be a warning that the air was unsafe and so they had to evacuate immediately.  As a colleague said to me today, events such as this one are a "canary in the coal mine" in regards to how society is evolving (or devolving).

What do you think?

Values – More Than Lip Service

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke

Do you want to know who you are?  Don't ask.  Act!  Action will delineate and define you. - Thomas Jefferson

Action expresses priorities. - Mahatma Gandhi

When I first came to Calgary from out east a few years ago, I was often given a lecture on the importance of values – specifically of how western values trump eastern values, how Canadian values trump American values, how Calgarian values are superior to New York City values and the usual verbal diarrhea presented by people who feel insecure or inferior and therefore seek to diminish the person who makes them feel insecure.

It’s usually not worth my time to argue with such people as their poorly formed and poorly presented opinion often does not reflect the majority of people that surround them and so it is not worthy of analysis or discussion.

However, imagine my surprise today in the middle of a busy day in Calgary when my focus was suddenly interrupted by two words:

“Help me”.

I looked up to see if someone was just horsing around or if I had misheard something when the cry for help came again …. repeated …. insistent …. and with a raw edge of fear wrapped around it.

I looked around for the source of the plea and began to run towards it and as I did so, I ran past people who were not reacting to the screaming child at all.  As I ran past them, some stared, some moved out of my way and others simply looked quizzically at the mad man running towards them who said “A kid is screaming for help” as I ran towards the source of the screaming.

I pushed past several dozen people who seemed indifferent to the cry for help and I identified the source.  A ten-year-old girl was in trouble and as the first and only person on the scene, I was able to render the assistance necessary.

Shortly after, her parent arrived and we were able to bring resolution to a situation that could have been much worse.

Where I come from, when a child screams “help me” “help me” “help me” in raw terror, we react.  For all we know, a child is being taken against their will, is being attacked by a human or an animal or some other situation is unfolding that requires immediate action.

Today, a lot of people took no action at all.

As I left the scene and walked past the same people, some of them stared at me.  Others asked “what happened?” and I assured them that the girl would be ok but I didn’t stop walking.

Walking helps flush out the adrenalin and besides, I didn’t want to fall into the trap of adding “no thanks to you” or “why didn’t you do something – you were closer than I was”.

It was tempting but offered little if any value to their Life or mine.

The Bottom Line

I’m not tarring all Calgarians with the brush of “no values exist here”.  There are many great Calgarians (likely the majority) who answer the call when the word for help goes out.  We have seen many examples of this, including the flood of 2013 and other examples.

However, claiming to have superior values, having the courage to do something as a result of possessing them and actually taking action when called upon requires more than a pat on the back that comes from politicians and other public officials who proclaim that western values are unlike anyone else’s or a false sense of superiority is assumed “just because”.

I can point to several dozen people today who presented an example of the lack of values that I was told are common in “people from away” and which people in Calgary would never be known for.

Values are more than what we think, what we say or how we verbally compare ourselves to others in an effort to establish some sense of superiority.

They are not a western thing or an eastern thing.

They are not a Canadian thing or an American thing.

They are not a Calgarian thing or a New York City thing.

They are a human thing and are demonstrated in what we do when we are called to do so.

I think that events like this are a reminder that we all can and must do better when the call for help goes out.  It makes a difference and the next time a call for help is made, it might be from someone important to you.

Talking about it is easy.

Unfortunately, merely talking about it offers no value nor does it make a difference.

Let your actions speak so loudly that I can’t hear what you are saying.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

To Demand Better of Your Politicians, Demand Better of Yourself

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything. - Alexander Hamilton

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

What is tolerated today becomes accepted tomorrow. - Various Attribution

An interesting conversation this week on the Facebook page of a member of the Progressive Conservative Association of Alberta reminds me of why we have the politicians we have.

It’s because we accept anything they give / tell us.

And while we like to rant and rave about what politicians allegedly do to us as we claim victimhood at the hand of their alleged incompetence or corruption (as some people claim), the reason politicians do what they do boils down to one thing.

It’s because we accept anything they give / tell us.

On the previously mentioned Facebook page this week, there was a discussion around the right-leaning parties of the Alberta political sphere and the possibility (or impossibility) of the two primary parties, the Wildrose Party and the Progressive Conservative Party, reuniting against the left-leaning NDP Party currently in power.

While the conversation was interesting and mostly respectful, I asked a couple of questions, specifically around whether people can come to an agreement regarding the definition of the words “progressive”, “conservative” and “values”, since failure to come to an agreement on what these words mean would prevent any such alliance from happening.

This sparked a healthy exchange until a former member of the Alberta government proceeded to give their views.  The individually waxed poetically about such concepts as principles, values, forgiveness and acceptance and the need “to do better and be better for, and, to each other.”

I thought it was a pretty cool, unifying message although one thing remained stuck in my craw from the previous election loss, a rumor that had been attached to this MLA and which suggested or implied unethical or potentially illegal behaviour and so I asked if the rumor were true.  There was no issue with stating it publicly since it had been rolling around in the public space anyway.

[Background Note] In my world and in the public-facing role I have, questions come in my direction every day, some friendly and inquisitive and some accusatory / confrontational.  When one accepts a public-facing role, one does one’s best to answer every question respectfully and as fact / data-based as possible.

When I asked for clarity on the rumor that was already in the public space, the former MLA and others supporting this person immediately demanded that my question be removed and made the demands in such a way that the person who owned the Facebook wall felt threatened as exhibited in this text exchange between the Facebook wall owner and myself.

The reason he gave for deleting my request for clarity was also intriguing.

So the mere act of asking for clarification on something being discussed about a former politician (who has a desire to be re-elected) in the public space provides people with a reason to feel fearful of asking for clarity or for allowing the request to stand.  This is especially intriguing given that the person being questioned had just cited the need “to do better and be better for, and, to each other.”

Meanwhile an executive within the PC Party texted me this message as he observed the events that unfolded.

I wonder how a Party can expect to rebuild itself on values, transparency and the like when people who request clarity on same are threatened or an effort is made to intimidate them into silence.

The Bottom Line

While many tout our democracy as the greatest form of government on the planet, they forget that the key elements of it need to be constantly, consistently and vigorously earned, re-earned, defended and championed.

One of the tenets of our democracy is the right to request transparency in the actions of those who claim to represent our best interests in our legislatures.

However, a dual crime of democracy occurs when someone who claims to serve us dares to shout us down instead of providing a response to requests for clarity AND the person being shouted at acquiesces without resistance or reason.

When these things happen, our democracy is in danger of producing a result that is not as ideal as that which we desire or deserve.

In such situations, if our democracy or the results it produces is tarnished in any way, we can’t blame the people we put in office nor can we criticize their actions because the reality is that we put them in office and if we accept their actions and keep re-electing them anyway, we have only ourselves to blame.

After all, when we have high expectations of our government and its elected representatives and they appear to be disappoint us consistently, maybe we need to re-examine our expectations of ourselves before criticizing the people we elect.

Unfortunately, I think it is always easier to hold others to a higher standard rather than ourselves since dodging responsibility and accountability requires much less effort when we expect both to be exhibited by others and not ourselves.

What do you think?

Does it matter?

What are you doing about it?

Forget asking what a politician stands for – what do YOU stand for?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum For the history buff who wondered if I chose the Alexander Hamilton quote deliberately on the 211th anniversary of his death in a duel, I can assure you that it was pure coincidence.

My friends at the Bank of New York used to joke that on the day he died, he told employees of the Bank that he founded not to do anything until he got back.  Hey .. it’s their joke … not mine!  Great people over there with a great sense of humor.

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Addendum 2 – Things That Make You Go Hmmmm – July 12, 2015

I received a cease and desist letter from a legal firm representing an unrelated person who thought I was writing about them.  Oooops – guilty as charged for a crime as of yet unknown by anyone except the perpetrator.  I guess there are more skeletons present than people are aware of.

As a friend of mine pointed out today, Israeli police sometimes offer something of interest to see who takes the bait, referring to the process as the integrity test.  The party drawn out is clearly guilty – one just needs to figure out the crime.

In the spirit of offering to help people as much as I can, I offer politicians the quick reference guide to lying as shown below.  Click on the image for a larger version.

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Addendum 3 – Closing Thoughts – July 18, 2015

What I find interesting about the party in question is that many people who blocked progress before and who fought openness in order to prevent embarrassing truths from coming out are now the same people writing blogs about the importance of truth and openness while simultaneously still blocking the truth.

They wanted to be the hero then by preventing the truth from coming out, they want to be the hero now by pretending to offer enlightenment that is allegedly unknown to everyone else and they are attempting to be the hero of the future by keeping skeletons buried in the closet.

You can’t have it all.

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Addendum 4 – I Guess I’m Not Done – August 12, 2015

With a by-election being called in Calgary-Foothills, I dared to ask what the strategy was to win the hearts, minds and votes of the people after the devastating loss by the PC party in May.

Here is one person’s response (click on the images for larger versions):

I guess the PC party (or at least the loudest people within it) have some learning to complete.

The Poison Pill in the Wildrose Defection

I'm a traitor, but I don't consider myself a traitor. - Aldrich Ames

“You lose your voice for your constituents and you lose your voice to advocate,” – Danielle Smith – November 26, 2014 (when asked about the defection of Kerry Towle to the PC Party)

“We’re here to just make sure that Albertans are taken care of and that when the government makes mistakes they’re called out on them.  They make an awful lot of mistakes so it keeps us pretty busy.” – Danielle Smith – November 26, 2014 (when asked about the defection of Kerry Towle to the PC Party)

As news breaks of the potential defection of major players from the Wildrose Party to the PC Party, including Opposition Leader Danielle Smith, Rob Anderson, Jeff Wilson, Gary Bikman, Jason Hale and Blake Pedersen (maybe more to be announced), I can’t help but think of the poison pill this represents to the PC Party.

The fact that leaders of a political party could abandon their party when “the times get tough” is a major reflection upon their character and their dedication to their former organization and the people within that organization.

The fact that one of the defectors, Rob Anderson, has done this more than once (having defected from the PC Party to the Wildrose and now is attempting to return to the PC Party) is a damning conviction in regards to his character and his opportunistic nature.  In doing so, he has slammed both parties and therefore is worthy of neither.

When one considers the venomous attacks against the PC Party by this merry band of roving politicians, one has to wonder what exorcism, voodoo or other transformational process was imparted upon them that converted their hate into love.

Do they suddenly believe (or want us to believe) that the party they hated is suddenly worth embracing in order to meet their constituent's needs or should we call it for what it probably is – a selfish or self-serving gesture that suggests that they believe that they cannot beat Jim Prentice in the next election and so it is better to join the winning side early rather than go down to defeat.

Why would the PC Party accept them?

It would make sense if the PC Party were desperate to increase its control of the Legislature but the Legislature is already well in-hand, so the extra votes aren’t needed.

Do the defectors bring any skills to the PC Party that the Party does not currently have?  If the defectors’ public actions are to be used as the litmus test, the answer would be no.

However, absorbing them into a Party that has its future well in-hand opens the door to internal rifts as Wildrose-leaning insiders and original PC Party members begin to clash on policy, platform, candidate nomination / selection, etc.

The rumor that the defectors will be provided with uncontested nominations for their ridings in the upcoming election will also alienate long-time PC supporters and deepen this rift.

To add insult to injury, what happens if some of the defectors are offered plum ministerial portfolios while long-time members of the PC Party who stood by the Party when times were difficult are passed over?

And let us not forget that the existence of a strong opposition (as far as it is) ensures transparency and accountability in government.  The Wildrose Party has created more insight into the workings of the Alberta PC Party than has been seen in the Province for many years.  The fact that receiving the defectors would even be considered by the PC Party is a warning that there would be no solid opposition remaining to question the action, something that should concern the citizens of Alberta.

The Wildrose Party has also contributed to the overthrowing of two Alberta Premiers so their track record is actually not too shabby.

The Bottom Line

Once someone demonstrates that they can’t be trusted with another party, why would you suddenly believe they are trustworthy in your own camp, unless you are so desperate for their support that you can look blindly past the obvious as politicians often do in order to accomplish their objectives.

And so with no obvious upside and plenty of opportunity for downside, the PC Party should reject the Wildrose defectors as being of insufficient character and values for the Party and being a potential poison pill in the future.

If they are rejected and return to take over the helm of the Wildrose Party, it would be justice for that Party to reject them also for once a self-serving traitor’s motives have been exposed, can you ever really trust them in the future?

After all, this is what this event is all about – an evaluation of character, values and trust of both the PC and Wildrose Parties and the question of whether these attributes can be found in the people who serve the Province.

Let us not forget that in the end, the constituents must come first.

Do the elected officials in question remember this?

If the Wildrose Party does take them back (should they be rejected by the PCs), maybe the Wildrose Party should be renamed something more appropriate … maybe something like the Benedict Arnold Party.

Because that name appears to be a more accurate reflection of the character and values of many (not all) of the players leading it.

I think that the people within the Wildrose and PC Parties and the people of Alberta deserve better.

What do you think?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS When I see actions such as those taken by the defectors, I think of posters like this:

or this:

Addendum – Maybe Not What It Seems - December 17, 2014

Watching some PC MLAs say that they can “look beyond the past” implies that said MLAs don’t care about the company that they keep as long as the company that they keep appears to serve their own needs.

I wonder if the backlash against the defectors would be so great that they would go down to defeat in the next election anyway (regardless of the party they serve) and if that were to happen, is acceptance of the defectors just a waste of time and energy or is it part of a masterful plan to skewer the Wildrose Party, using the self-serving nature of the defectors against themselves?

Or …. is this the greatest political takeover in Alberta history, with in fact the Wildrose policies becoming the PC Party policies, bringing true conservatism back to the PC Party and making the Wildrose experiment one of the more brilliant ones in Canadian political history.  This scenario would bode well for the defectors with potential plum ministerial positions being offered to them but would alienate the left-leaning members of the PC Party, thus encouraging them to move on if they don’t like what they see. 

Time will tell.

Final Addendum – The Deal is Done – December 18, 2014

As the dust settles at the time I write this, 9 members of the Wildrose Party have joined the PC Party, simultaneously gutting the Official Opposition, practically wiping out the Party that stood in opposition and providing guaranteed jobs to the 9 self-serving individuals who put themselves above their Party, their colleagues, their friends and the people they serve.  The backlash from both PC and Wildrose Party members has been strong.  However, to the many who donated significant time, energy and money to the Wildrose Party, the feeling of betrayal appears to be especially strong as Ms. Smith and company stabbed them in the back without remorse.

It doesn’t matter to the floor crossers.  They are, after all, politicians.  Should we have dared to expect anything better from the people who dared to insist they were different than the team they have just joined?

Shame on them or shame on us?

While the gushing, positive language in Ms. Smith’s press presentation was all around “like minds coming together”, the words sounded empty and hypocritical.  She carefully evaded providing specific answers to any questions posed by the press and successfully said a lot about nothing (or nothing about a lot, depending on your interpretation).  She is a politician first.

In business and in Life, I believe that a large part of how people perceive me is based on the company I keep.  I personally wouldn’t take anyone on any team of mine whose selfish needs destroy others in the process.  Not only would that person’s character reflect poorly on my own character, but the reality is that I would never know when the person would do the same to me.  Some of these floor crossers have demonstrated such repeat behavior already.

The world of politics is very different.  While people can campaign on things like character and values, such attributes take second place to accomplishing the needs of the politicians, needs that hopefully intersect somewhere with the needs of the people. The Premier didn’t need to accept the floor crossers, having the legislative weight to accomplish his intentions but he did so anyway, accepting people of lesser character into his team.

If it is a reflection on the Premier and the PC Party, at this point it doesn’t matter.  He has a legislative juggernaut that doesn’t need to pay attention to the people and is no longer faced with the challenge of answering to an opposition. 

These events also send a message to the members of the PC Party who stuck it out when times got difficult.  The message is two-fold:

1. Your ongoing support is appreciated but may not be rewarded as the floor crossers secure plum positions in lieu of those who worked hard for the Party.
2. Character and values are optional, except when being promoted to the electorate at election time as essential attributes that differentiate the Party from others.

While people insist that this is not a merger of two parties, I have read confidential documents from unhappy participants in this event that suggest that the PC Party is about to move much further to the right.

Where does that leave Red Tories, both candidates and the people who support them?

Time and the level of electorate amnesia that is common with such events will prove to be very revealing.

And finally, while I was never a fan of the Wildrose Party, I did admire their tenacity in being a strong opposition despite their small size.  Their ferocity and perseverance accomplished a lot within the Legislature that benefitted the people of Alberta.  Are the days of someone holding the Government accountable and responsible gone for the people?

Time will tell.

The Adventures of Mirror Man

Scientists have demonstrated for years that humans mimic other humans.  While many of us scoff at the “monkey see, money do” mentality, get angry at people who are “sucking up to us” or allow our egos to be stroked by such mimicry, it is a natural human experience that most of us should understand on a better level in order to be better people.

Being mirrored by someone who has been practicing the art for years is an interesting experience to witness and feel.

One person years ago labeled me as Mirror Man because he thought I had mastered the art.  He also noted that  the powers of Mirror Man can lift you up or tear you down …. depending on how good or evil you are. :-)

For example ….

People who don’t like to be pushed into decisions find that I am equally relaxed about not forcing them into one (as long as the time is available to think, of course) and they appreciate that I give them the space to muse about appropriate decisions.

Others who are aggressive in strategic execution find that my non-compromising passion for successful execution built upon respect, transparency, collaboration and intelligent strategy strongly resonates with their outlook to create success.

When one’s desires and actions are reflected in the desires and actions of others, we find resonance in purpose and results (not necessarily style, but a difference in style can be a necessary thing).

However, what happens when one’s stated desires are not in resonance with one’s actions and in turn, the values of Mirror Man?

Well … then it gets complicated.

When one talks about being audacious about success, implores everyone around them to be the same and then does little to lead by example, results-focused superheroes like Mirror Man can be perceived as an enemy instead of a friend.

When one talks about values like respect and collaboration while tearing the limbs off others, then Mirror Man is probably not going to be found in your corner defending your actions.

When a leader chants the mantra of transparency while living a Life of mystery, intrigue and secrets, Mirror Man’s style of authenticity will probably rub you the wrong way.

A leader who espouses the importance of strong strategy and tactics while executing with reckless abandon will probably find that Mirror Man has long left the building.

And when a leader chooses a style of bullying as his / her means of inspiring results, then they find that Mirror Man is the immovable object who doesn’t tolerate such behavior.

Authenticity is a choice … and offers an invitation

To be authentic, to be congruent in thought, word and action, attracts others to us that help move us towards mutually agreed upon results.

When relationships are in congruence, the results and the great memories that are produced last a lifetime.  Such memories bring smiles and tears of joy every time one reflects upon them.

Conversely, when one is not congruent in thought, word and action, both within ourselves and with others, we may perceive others as being obstacles to our success or impediments to manifesting our dreams when in fact such events are a call to look within instead of consistently blaming everyone else.

And when we have looked within, gotten over the anger or sadness and learned our lesson, then the calling card of the Mirror Man makes sense:

If my letter made you sad, I am not sorry I wrote it. At first I was sorry, because it made you sad, but you were sad only for a short time. Now I am happy, not because you were made sad, but because your sorrow made you change your lives. - 2 Corinthians 7:8-9a. (NCV)

The old mantra “Do as I say (or demand) … not as I do” doesn’t work in business …..

…. or in Life.

In service and servanthood,

Mirror Man (Harry)

Leadership and Values - What Pressure Reveals

I recently had the heartbreaking task of walking away from a client.

The client has staggering potential in their market space.

They have a team of people whom I believe have the talent to get the company to where it needs to go.

Success is theirs for the taking.

So why did I walk away from them?

Because my passion for their success and my belief in their success potential exceeded theirs and it felt like I was dragging them begrudgingly across the finish line instead of collaborating with them and being delighted in watching them sprint across the finish line as they basked in the glory of victory.

And this violated one of my values, that of the power of collaboration built upon highlighting and harvesting the talents, strengths and skills of everyone involved coupled with an uncompromising passion for success built upon respect, transparency, honesty and intelligent action.

Some of them didn’t want success for themselves as much as I wanted for them.

And it was their company, not mine.

It was their dream.

Not mine.

The words were there – the actions were not. 

As I reflected on how the relationship evolved, it got me to thinking about values.

Values are an interesting thing.  It has been said that when we face pressure in our Life, the event doesn’t define us as much as it reveals who we really are.

And that’s when we realize how strong (or not) our values are.

When Life squeezes us, we can:

1. Abandon our values because others tell us to

2. Compromise our values in an effort to make others happy

3. Adhere to our values, knowing that it may make some people unhappy but we will have been true to ourselves and set an example for others to follow.

I stuck to my values in this case, knowing that it would upset people.

But it is better than living with compromised values (or none at all), which is what many people do.

What many people don’t realize is that when we abandon or compromise our values, we are dooming ourselves and others to failure and possibly greater pain down the road.

We just don’t know it yet.

And so we go through Life, avoiding pain by being what others expect us to be instead of being who we are truly are.

When that happens, we aren’t offering anyone any added value because we are not bringing our unique combination of values and insight to the table.

We are merely bringing to the table the insight and values that the other person has already embraced.

We are in fact, just like them!

Where’s the value in that?

Do you know what your values are?

Do you really stand by them – uncompromisingly but with respect?

Do your actions speak louder than words when it comes to expressing your values?

Do you stand by them when it is most difficult to do so?

Or do you allow yourself to blow in the breeze, your values being transient and indiscernible, bending to the will of people who would seek to alter your values to suit their wants or needs.

Do you stand by your values and principles, fighting for what you believe to be right or do you waste your energy fighting everything / everyone else?

Strength of our values determines the quality of our Life

When we are inevitably faced with difficulty in Life, we will discover that there is a big difference between being told we are defeated and believing it.

How we demonstrate our understanding of this will depend largely on how much we stand by our values.

But I guess that depends on whether we know what our values are and whether we have the courage to stand by them with conviction and respect.

Or if we allow them to be defined by someone else.

Do you know what values are most important to you?

Do you demonstrate your values effectively, uncompromisingly and with respect?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Killing the Heart of a Nation

Anyone who knows me knows how I treasure and value the importance of rural Canada and rural America.

As a businessman, I recognize that the larger centers, whether it be Toronto, New York or the like, provide the “energy” to drive nations.

However, I also believe that the rural towns are the lifeblood of nations, often providing the last vestiges of the morals and values of yesteryear that we lament have disappeared from the larger centers.  The rural towns provide the balance against the larger centers and together, we find a way to make the balance work to create as strong a future as we can.

As someone who grew up in a rural environment before moving on to success in larger centers, I recognize the need for both.

When the lifeblood of a nation is weakened, I wonder what happens to that balance and the future of the nation itself.

While my ancestral home is Bell Island, Newfoundland, Canada, I grew up in a rural town “across the bay” called Foxtrap.  In 1971, it had an official population of 971 souls so this is as rural as it gets.  Until the early 90s, the primary sources of income for the majority of residents was farming and fishing.

Today, with the amalgamation of some surrounding communities, it still has a population of under 3,000 and Foxtrap itself is now part of the larger community of Conception Bay South.

It’s still as small as it gets.

So you can imagine my surprise and disappointment when I heard that in this sleepy little ocean-side town, it was announced that a new cabaret was opening today.

Cabaret is usually defined as form of entertainment featuring music, comedy, song, dance, recitation or drama.

Doesn’t sound so bad, does it?  In fact, while being a strange place to locate a theater, perhaps they are introducing a little culture to the town of my upbringing.

But it does strike my interest to know that a nearby house was also purchased to house “the dancers”.  Intriguing indeed – I’ve never heard of such special care being given to thespians before.

As a result, I couldn’t help but wonder what else they might do in such a house.

And then I look at the owners of the facility.

They are also the owners of a facility in the nearby city of St. John’s known as Sirens.

What kind of facility is Sirens?

This picture on the opening page of their website speaks volumes.

It doesn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination, does it?

It doesn’t look much like cabaret either.

Now, I’m not a prude by ANY stretch of the imagination.

I have no issue with strip clubs or the more commonly used term “gentlemen’s clubs”.

However, I do have an issue with where they are located.

Sirens is located in downtown St. John’s in an area known for its mix of bars, pubs and gentlemen’s clubs.

The new “cabaret club” is smack dab in the middle of the small rural town of Foxtrap.  The club has an elementary school bus stop in front of it and will be open for business when kids are dropped off in front of it.

All of these facts create a toxic mix in my brain that is not sitting right with me.

Who approved this?

This brings me to the people who approved the development of a “cabaret club” in the middle of this sleepy town.

The Town Council of Conception Bay South and Mayor Woody French said they had no confirmation of what the building would ultimately be, which is why they allowed the club to be put there.

Here’s the problem with such a statement.

If the leadership of a town doesn’t know what is being put in the town, then they shouldn’t allow it until they know.

If they know but can’t be transparent with the people living in the area, then they shouldn’t allow it to happen either.

To do so anyway speaks volumes in terms of their competence level and their ability to run a town.

Or perhaps it speaks louder in terms of their inability to do so.

If our rural towns are going to be allowed to have their heart ripped out through incompetent or immoral politicians, I fear for the future of our nation.  Once our foundation of morals and values is lost, all is lost.

A Message to Our “Leaders”

As for the Mayor of CBS and any councillors who voted for this and slyly slid it by the local residents, I offer this musing.

Since we are on the subject of cabaret, let’s explore the root of the word “actor”.

The word “actor” is derived from the Greek word “hypokrites”, from which we get the modern word hypocrite.

Any politician who would thrust a “cabaret” upon the residents of a small rural town by either not telling them that it was coming or by saying that he didn’t really know what was going there (which somehow makes it ok), is a hypocrite.

Or perhaps they are just acting, pretending to be competent community leaders when they in fact are not.

Either way, in conducting themselves as they are, they are taking responsibility for ripping the heart out of a rural community and a nation.

I wonder if they already have a communications strategy in place for when the inevitable drugs and prostitution pop up in the same area.

Here’s a hint to them: You better prepare it now – you will need it.

Here’s another thought to the town council: Why don’t you licence the establishment on the same street that you live on so you can see how it “contributes” to your neighbourhood.

All that being said, if the residents of Foxtrap don’t want this to happen, they need to do more than complain on the local radio station.

As Moliere, the French actor, once said:

“It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.”

We all share responsibility for making our communities and our nation strong.

A nation is made stronger when we take action and is weakened when we choose not to take action.

I wonder how the home of my youth chooses to defend that which is important to them and to the nation.

“To be, or not to be, that is the question”.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS  Dear churches.  You claim to be the keeper of morals and values in society-at-large.  Your absence in this dialog speaks volumes in itself and is in fact, hypocritical. 

Lead by example or move out of the way and let someone else do so.

PPS I wonder what the Right Honorable Terry French, Member of the Newfoundland and Labrador House of Assembly, nephew of the mayor of Conception Bay South and resident of the area, thinks of this also.  As the Minister of Tourism, Culture and Recreation and with a young daughter, his thoughts on the matter would be interesting to know.

Elections and the Smear Campaign–Weapon of the Future

Watching the Democrats employ the ultimate smear campaign against Mitt Romney has been the most disappointing campaign I have ever witnessed. 

Democrats in recent months have accused Romney of being a felon, a tax evader and now a direct contributor to someone’s death from cancer.  I understand that Mr. Axelrod and Mr. Obama have used this technique quite successfully in previous campaigns and so they are bringing out the big guns one more time

Sadly, Mr. Obama did promise never to resort to such tactics as noted below in a campaign speech from 2008 but you know what they say about how you can tell if a politician is lying.

 

2008 Democrat campaign trail

 

Some liberal democrats that I have tried to discuss this with using data and facts have tried to silence me with yelling, screaming and death threats.

Yes, the days of the ultimate weapons of choice to win an election or a debate have arrived.  Campaigns have always been dirty, but these unsubstantiated allegations by “unnamed sources” are a new low.

The way I see it, there are only a few things left for Romney to be accused of:

1. Wife battery

2. Pedophilia

3. A desire to reinstate slavery as a personal affront to the President once he is out of office.

4. That gun-toting Republicans will be ordered to shoot Democrats randomly in public places should the GOP lose the upcoming election.

But let’s explore this a little.  Maybe I am wrong.

Maybe these guys are on to something.

Perhaps if we consider some scenarios that ring closer to home that we will be able to see the power and wonder of this technique.

Bidding For Business

You might consider my competition, Mr. Prospect.  Hopefully he will have dug himself out of the court case with his last client by then.  What are the details?  Oh, I can’t say. That’s confidential information.

Business Relationship That Ended

Of course I couldn’t work with that guy any more.  I don’t work with guys sleeping around on their wives. Who is he fooling around with?  I can’t say because I wouldn’t want to hurt his family.

High School

Dear Mr. So-and-So.  Here’s a picture of you and my fellow student so-and-so (you don’t know that it’s photoshopped).  I’m expecting to have a good year in my senior year, if you catch my meaning.  I’d hate for this picture to get onto Facebook by accident.

School Yard

Mommy, Sarah keeps picking on me!.  That’s ok, Dear.  The next time Sarah picks on you, tell all the other kids that her Daddy touches her where he shouldn’t and she will stop picking on you.

Bored Soccer Mom

Can you believe that she said she didn’t like my new purse?  Maybe if she didn’t spend her time snorting lines of coke at home that she might still have some semblance of taste.

Sprinkle in some social media as we embrace this and we’re reaching the masses with our “powerful” message.

Yes, the possibilities are endless.

But wait!  What about the example we are setting for our youth?

Screw ‘em – they’re just a bunch of devil-worshipping, drug-dealing, lazy people, aren’t they?  They don’t care.

The Reality

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t believe this about young people.

But there are three things I do believe when it comes to our youth.

1. We emulate our leaders in thought, word and action.

2. That which we tolerate today we embrace tomorrow.

3. The legacy that we are leaving for our youth and the models of behavior that we want them to emulate leave a LOT of room for improvement.

I believe we can and must do better and that we must hold ourselves and our leaders, whether in politics, business, religion or anything else to a much higher standard.

What do you believe?

Or worse …. do you even care?

Someday you will.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS  Here is what David Rothkopf, a well-known Democrat, thinks of the current Democrat campaign - Reid's Romney smears an insult to voters. 

Sometimes the greatest insult of all to someone is when their intelligence has been insulted or they are being used but they don’t know it or don’t stand up to fight it.  But then again, people who suck it up incessantly without question make for the perfect electorate, don’t they?

Chick-fil-A and Intolerance of Intolerance

The Mayor of Pittsburgh has joined the Mayors of Chicago and Boston by informing Chick-fil-A that its leaders’ stand on same-sex marriage is not welcome and thus their chain is not welcome in their respective cities.

I think this is a very dangerous slippery slope.

For starters, there are the legal and constitutional ramifications of governments that punish companies for the beliefs of the leadership of those companies.  I’ll leave that subject to the experts in those respective fields.

But if we are now going to start a moral crusade by punishing every company whose leadership has beliefs that we don’t agree with, then let’s line up the leadership of the Fortune 500 and fry them now because I’m sure every company has a leader who has a belief or who has committed some act that someone doesn’t agree with.

I happen to know that the CEO of one of the largest companies in the world has a significant hash pipe collection.  Does this mean that if we are strongly anti-drug that we will stop buying the products of that company?  Would someone consider this leader’s values to conflict with our “war on drugs”?  What about the paradox for those who work for the company who have to undergo drug screening?

Secondly, when Chicago Mayor Emanuel said that Chick-fil-A’s values are not Chicago’s values, I’m not certain who appointed him the de facto representative of everyone’s values on every issue.

I’m not even certain what Chicago’s official values list looks like.  Can someone point me in the direction of this official list?

Thirdly, it’s easy for many people to get behind the mayors of these cities and support their pro-same-sex message.  After all, it’s always easy to get behind someone and support their message when you agree with THAT message.

But what happens when at some point down the road, mayors or other government leaders decide to take similar action for other areas of moral judgement based on THEIR opinion and you suddenly discover that you don’t agree with THAT particular choice?

It will be too late to do anything, because we will have enabled them by our support or apathy in this instance.

There is also an irony in the Boston mayor’s comments – to preach intolerance of other people’s opinions because we feel they are intolerant of ours is to hope that two wrongs make a right.

Weren’t we taught as children that this doesn’t work?

Whether we strongly agree with or disagree with an opinion is one thing.

However, when a government threatens legal action over the opinion of a citizen or when it claims to represent everyone’s values and morals is another.  Such assumptions have the potential to destroy the great nation built upon ideals such as the First Amendment and the belief that through the expression and debate of opinions, a great nation can learn to strengthen itself.

But then again, yelling at people who disagree with us appears to be the norm these days.  Maybe the people of the great nation of the United States of America would prefer to intimidate anyone who dares to have a difference of opinion.

And if that’s the case, I wonder if it’s only a matter of time before the First Amendment and the Second Amendment collide.

Whether that happens or not, when the day arrives that we are not entitled to our own opinion, it will be a sad day indeed.

Maybe that day has already arrived and we just don’t know it yet.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

 

Addendum: July 27, 2012

The bashing of Chick-fil-A continues, as does the rhetoric and the false information suggesting things about Chick-fil-A that are not true.  I wonder what social cause these government representatives will embrace next. 

There is another slippery slope here.

What happens if a mayor or other politician with intent to run for election / re-election discovers they have a powerful opponent in a particular organization’s leadership and uses the guise of a “social cause” to discredit / disempower their opponent?

Would the average voter be able to see through such an act?

I highly doubt it.

What happens if the same politician leverages an emotionally-loaded cause to “use” the electorate, playing on their feelings and emotions while vaulting the politician in their campaign, all the while leveraging an issue that the politician doesn’t actually care about?

Ah … I forgot.

That would be politics as usual.

Final thought

Someone told me I was brave for publishing this because I said what they wanted to say but were afraid to do so for fear of backlash.

While I didn’t say anything that was controversial, such a comment reflects the possibility that perhaps the sad day has indeed arrived where differences of opinion are truly not welcome.

What is also sad is that I don’t see the leadership in Washington, either incumbent or challenger, make any comment that would demonstrate their desire to stand with the law and the Constitution on such a sticky matter.

But such wishy washy behavior would be politics as usual also.

POTUS – The Impact of Lower Standards

After the Supreme Court ruling today that President Obama’s Healthcare Plan would stand, there were three tweets from the Democrat camp that really surprised and disappointed me.

The first was from Patrick Gaspard, Executive Director of the Democratic National Committee:

The second is from Greg Greene, the Media Outreach Director for the Democratic National Committee:

Being gutless about standing behind what he said, Mr. Greene deleted the tweet when it started to circulate around the web.  Unfortunately what is said on the web is forever, even if the source is deleted.

The third, and most surprising, was from President Barack Obama’s own twitter account:

Now don’t get me wrong.  Having worked on Wall St. for many years, I am not a prude by any stretch of the imagination.

However, hearing the President of the United States (or someone speaking on his behalf) imply the F word in an apparent taunt to citizens against Obamacare sets the bar to a new low in my mind.

No President is perfect and in private, Presidents have no doubt had much to say that reflected their gratitude for certain slices of America and their disappointment (or disgust) with other slices.  However, I’ve never seen a President so confident that he (or one of his representatives) would insult or taunt Americans.

In fact, in an election year, we usually see Presidents and candidates alike try to balance keeping everyone happy, promising what they can deliver while being vague and elusive (but without a definitive no) regarding things they can’t or won’t deliver.

When phrases such as “bitches”, “mother f’ers” or “still a BFD” are used, it lowers the sense of decorum and dignity of the Office of the President, the Office that represents the values and ideals that America stands for.

Values like courtesy and respect.

When the bar of respect is lowered, the nature of the dialog between the Office of the President and citizens changes also.  With the veneer of decorum and dignity further tarnished by these tweets today, I was amazed at how many people on Twitter responded by throwing the F-bomb right back at the President.

I remember a time when few people would dare say such a thing to the President.  Whether you liked the man in office or not, and whether you swore about him in the local coffee shop or bar, if you were addressing the President, you had the respect to address him as Mr. President.

It seems that once the bar was lowered by the POTUS (or his campaign staff), the level of conversation and dialog took on a new disrespectful tone.

And in times like these, with many challenges still ahead of us, this is not the time to establish a diminished standard of dialog that produces nothing but taunts and insults.

We still need to pull together and set the standard for decorum, dignity and respect to solve these challenges and to provide an example of citizenship and leadership that we want our children to model.

It is, after all, their future that we are creating, both in our choices of word and action today and the standards by which we wish them to live by tomorrow.

Standards that are established by how we live today.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS I’m aware that the twitter account for the President is shared by the President and his campaign staff and because of this, every tweet that appears isn’t necessarily typed by the President.

However, if I authorize someone to post tweets on my behalf, I make sure that such persons are in resonance with my values and beliefs since they are representing my values and beliefs with every message they post.  I am also responsible for any content that appears and if negative content is presented, I am required to address the matter appropriately.

For this reason, every tweet that appears under the President’s twitter account in fact represents the President’s values and beliefs unless he takes action to the contrary.

What Do You Stand For?

Deep within our heart and soul, many of us have something that we believe in or dream about when it comes to our potential and Life purpose.  We tell compelling, riveting stories to our friends over a coffee about how “someday I’m going to ……..”.

I’ll bet you have one of these compelling stories.

Are you living your story?

How does your dream stand up to the following questions?

1. What are you willing to do to prove your dream is possible and even necessary for you to accomplish?
2. What would you do if you discovered that the world is actually waiting for you to embrace your story and bring it to Life?
3. Do you have the courage to share your story with others in a forum other than in whispered conversations amongst a small group of friends?
4. Are you willing to expose your dream to public scrutiny, knowing that it can stand on its own merits and perhaps be stronger as a result of public scrutiny?
5. Are you willing to collaborate with others to bring your story and theirs to fruition?
6. Is your dream in alignment with your values and beliefs?
7. Will accomplishing your dream make you proud of the legacy you are leaving to others?
8. Do you realize that living your dream will inspire others?
9. How will you be remembered if you had the courage to live your dream?

It’s Tougher Than It Looks

I find that many people who have a compelling story cannot answer most of these questions with a positive answer. 

By dreaming one story but living a different one, they are not being authentic to themselves or to others

It’s like the paradox of living in today’s world, where people are encouraged to take the short, quick-hit, impatient view of getting anything they want right away (and going into debt to do it) while being encouraged to take a long term, patient view of investing for their retirement.  We put opposing principles inside someone’s head and then we act surprised when they can’t do both.

The challenge is that the longer people choose to be inauthentic to themselves and others, the lesser the chance that their story will ever see the light of day.

…. the lesser the chance that they will be able to live their Life in congruence with their perceived purpose or to even know what their purpose is.

…. the lesser the chance that their story will have an opportunity to impact the world or to inspire others.

It’s not easy, is it?

Oftentimes, being authentic is difficult or seemingly impossible to achieve consistently.

Many times we can justify why it is safer or easier to not be authentic.

The Danger of Inauthenticity

The problem is that every time we are not authentic with ourselves or others, we weaken our belief in our dreams and therefore weaken our potential.  Eventually we may believe we have no potential or purpose at all.

Try this: Ask someone WHY they think they exist on this planet or what their purpose is.  Most people cannot answer this question at all.  Can you? 

At some point, we invent another persona that has unlimited potential.  After all, we reason, “who I am is of no interest or value to others, so let me see what the populace-at-large likes and I will promote and become that person”.

I know several well known self-empowerment experts who promote to their customers that if you think, say and do as they do, you will live an empowered life like they do.

The unfortunate secret is that these “experts” are financially, emotionally, relationally and spiritually broke.

I think promoting a façade of success when you don’t have it is to promote a lie and I tell them this (which makes them angry).  When you take someone’s money to teach them these “secrets of success”, you are stealing from them because you can’t actually prove the system works.

When I explain to these “experts” that they should be honest and transparent with their customers, they tell me they cannot do that.  They even write inspiring stories about being honest and transparent and live the opposite way – the ultimate level of inauthenticity.

And success eludes them while they tell others that success overwhelms them.

Perhaps if they had the courage to be themselves and not work so hard to be someone else, then success might follow.

They fear that to reveal their true selves would be an embarrassment.

I think that having the courage to be authentic would inspire others. 

New Year’s Resolutions

This is the season for New Year’s Resolutions.

This is the time of year when most people resolve to accomplish the same list of things they resolved to accomplish last year, the year before, etc.

The primary reason most of these resolutions fall flat is that they are not hooked into what inspires the person making them and for this reason, they lose their sizzle and the person eventually falls back into the same old routine.

Perhaps if we realized that our story, as big or small as we think it is, could serve as an inspiration to others, we might be more inclined to resolve to do whatever it takes to make our story a reality.

Perhaps if we decided to embrace ourselves and our story instead of being someone else with a story designed to make other people happy or to impress them, then we would have some real things to work towards.

Maybe then we would discover our true purpose – the answer to the questions “Why am I here?” and “Why do I matter?”.

Maybe then we would have real, inspiring things to work towards that matter to ourselves at the deepest level of who we are.  Maybe then we could make tangible resolutions that would help us move towards our true self; a self that inspires others and that leaves a positive impact on others.

Now there’s a resolution worth keeping.

I know you would keep such resolutions.

So what are you waiting for?

Resolve to be true to yourself – it is the greatest gift to yourself and to others.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

For my Musings-in-a-Minute version of “What Do You Stand For?”, please click here.

When Ego and Common Sense Collide ….

…. or ….

“The noise in your car will go away if you turn the radio up loud enough”.

This thought came to mind today as I spoke to a good friend and Wall St. client as we exchanged Thanksgiving pleasantries.

My friend, whom I will name “Frank”, is working on a project of considerable cost and complexity that, after starting and being cancelled three times mid-project, is now gaining traction for a fourth go-around.

As a strategy guy, I was intrigued by this and asked him what was different about this version of the project versus the previous incarnations that had gone down in flames.

Are the measurable outcomes different than before? –> No

Are the tools and processes being used different than before? –> No

Is the technology that it is built upon different than before? –> No

Are the regulatory influences different than before? –> No

Are there different people designing the solution? –> No

Are there different people implementing the solution? –> No

Is the solution being developed for a different group of users? –> No

Is there ANYTHING substantially different between this incarnation and the previous ones.

“Not that I can see.”

So, Frank, how do you know this one will be successful when the others failed?

“Well, Harry, there are no guarantees in life.  You do the best you can with what you have and hope for the best”.

Well, Frank, you are about to be burned by the Bread Recipe Rule (first coined by Gerald Weinberg) which states:

If you take the same baker, ingredients and recipe, you will always bake the same bread.

Frank paused and then acknowledged that given everything he could see, the fourth incarnation will probably end up being the same as the rest.

If you know this, Frank, why are you participating in the project?

In the conversation that ensued, Frank described a process where past project experiences could not be discussed. To do so was considered a negative practice and thus a distraction from the bright future they were manifesting.

He described a process where it was decided that to rethink a different way of doing things was deemed unnecessary.  After all, the best solution, process and team had already been created and so why should anyone waste time revisiting everything from the beginning?

For those on the project who had a sense that they were about to bake another loaf of the same bread, their voice of reason was drowned out in a cacophony of accusations of “not being a team player”, “being a pessimist”, or some other insult, most of which was encouraged by the project leadership and dutifully shared by the project team members.

Some people who strongly expressed their opinion that they were repeating history were transferred out of the project. 

Two were fired for being a negative influence on the project, for daring to suggest that the fourth incarnation will probably follow in the footsteps of the prior attempts.

Ego Overrules Common Sense

The ego of the team, particularly within the leadership of the project, is shouting so loudly that it is preventing them from seeing that they are repeating history – a very expensive history.

The killer for me was when I asked Frank, if he knew that what they were doing was wrong, then why he didn’t just find somewhere else to work.

His answer summed it up:

Do you know how much I would give up in stock and perks if I walk away from my employer?

His personal values, common sense and life experience, which told him that what they were doing was wrong, had been compromised by the extrinsic motivator of money.

The life experiences of the team’s leaders and how they viewed the knowledge of the team members were being compromised by their ego.

Common sense, like Elvis, had left the building.

I realized as we spoke that many of our corporate leaders still don’t get it, despite assurances to the public, to shareholders, etc. that bailouts, regulatory changes, a few rah-rah team building exercises and other things have produced a different way of doing business.

Key Element of Leadership – Influence and Values

They miss a key element of leadership.

You can regulate a business all you want.

You can offer incentives and punishments to organizations and the people within them all you want.

You can write corporate rah-rah statements that make people jump up and down with excitement.

You can hang those nifty motivational posters all over the office and feel smug that you have changed an entire culture with a couple of cute expressions.

However, if you forget that the demonstrated values of the leadership at the top of the organization grow and amplify as they move down through the rank and file, then the leadership has missed the whole point of leadership.

The point is that the leaders influence their entire organization through their actions and behaviors and that as they demonstrate their personal values on a daily basis, so will the people within the organization embrace and emulate those same values.

This is the power of strong leadership, good and bad.

And so when I see poor actions taking place within the bowels of a large organization, I don’t think that the core of the problem, the “thing” that needs to be fixed, is at that specific level of the organization.

Instead, I look at the leadership of the organization, the behavior of the leaders and the values that they demonstrate.

And when I do that, I can tell exactly what type of “bread” their organization will bake throughout the different levels of the organization.

Avoiding the Negative Impact of Excessive Ego

Many leaders use their ego to brazen and bully their way through many situations, ignoring or covering up the issues that are all around them.

So will the people who follow them.

The problem is that, as with a car that is making a bad noise , “turning up the radio” can provide you with an opportunity to ignore the problem.

But sooner or later, you end up broken down in the middle of nowhere – just as we were in the spring and summer of 2008.

The only way to avoid breaking down is to turn down the radio and honestly assess the problem.

With a focus on collaborating.

With a focus on acknowledging the respective skills, knowledge, talents and life experiences of others that may shed light on a better way of doing things.

With a focus on mutual respect and trust, in an environment where every opinion matters.

Without excessive ego.

Otherwise, the organization may be about to experience a significant problem.

It’s like car brakes that make a very loud screech when you apply them.

You can always turn up the radio.

And that makes everything ok.

Doesn’t it?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

For my Musings-in-a-Minute version of “When Ego and Common Sense Collide”, please click here.

My Values Are Important …. Most of the Time

 

In August of 2009, I mused in my blog “Consistent Messages – The True Source of Inconsistency” about whether or not the messages we broadcast to the world are in resonance with our values and actions.

One of the things I discussed was in regards to a national supermarket chain and their inconsistent message around plastic bags, announcing that they did not want their customers to use them.  The reason was because the environment was important to them and this was one way they were demonstrating their commitment.  To accomplish this, they would begin charging 5 cents per bag moving forward. 

The reason they selected 5 cents was that in fact they only wanted to lightly discourage people from buying them without offending anyone.  They didn’t in fact want you to stop as the signs in the supermarket suggested and I thought the inconsistency between message and intention was amusing.

I was listening to a spokesperson on the radio this morning from the same supermarket chain describing why the chain offered the bags free of charge to customers during the holiday season and had extended the free bag offer for the time being.

Here was the explanation that was provided (paraphrasing).  Tell me if you see a pattern:

1. Holiday time is a busy time and customers have enough to worry about without having to worry about bringing their reusable bags in.

2. Customers are going to the other supermarket that offers the bags free of charge all the time.

3. We are still committed to removing “x” number of bags from the environment.

4. Customers are going to the other supermarket that offers the bags free of charge all the time.

5. Some customers have complained that people using the reusable bags are causing delays at the checkouts.

6. Customers are going to the other supermarket that offers the bags free of charge all the time.

7. Customers need more time to get used to the concept of reusable bags and so we have relaxed the requirement to buy plastic bags.

8. Customers are going to the other supermarket that offers the bags free of charge all the time.

The spokesperson then summed it all up with a choice of words that I found interesting.  This is a direct quote:

“In the end, it comes down to the business.”

As a business person myself, I agree that bottom-line financials are important.

However, when one promotes through advertising, in-store signs, etc., that they are committed to the environment, perhaps they should change the message to read:

We will do our best to be committed to the environment by keeping plastic bags out of landfill but if you don’t like that, that’s ok with us also.  We don’t want to offend you and lose your business.

Or, to put it another way:

Our values are negotiable.

I’m not an uber-environmentalist by any stretch although I try to do my part.

However, this causes me to wonder:

1. Are our values something of convenience?

2. Are our values a useful promotion tool?

3. Are our values based on intentions and not actions?

4. Are our values something we aspire to have at some point?

or

5. Are our values consistent with who we are, what we do, and how we do it and are we willing to stand by them at all cost?

The answer to those questions has profound impact on our lives personally, professionally, economically, politically, ecologically and socially.

Are your values negotiable?

If you say they are not, how do you know?

In service and servanthood.

Harry

To read my Musings-in-a-Minute version of “My Values are Important …. Most of the Time”, please click here.

 

Addendum: In March of 2010, the same supermarket chain announced that they would offer customers plastic bags free of charge for the foreseeable future.  The reason given?  The competitor was doing it.   Their values are for sale.