Self Discipline–Why You Can Never Reach Me Instantly

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

We use our gadgets for distraction and entertainment. We use them to avoid work while giving the impression that we're actually working hard. - Meghan Daum

The moment of drifting into thought has been so clipped by modern technology. Our lives are filled with distraction with smartphones and all the rest. People are so locked into not being present. - Glen Hansard

I have a confession to make to the many people who wonder what the secret is to getting me to answer my phone.

If you’re not in my calendar today, then don’t bother calling / SMS’ing me if you expect an immediate reply / comment.  I won’t even know you called me until the end of the day.

In our world of always being connected, always reachable, I have noticed that a lot of people who complain that they never get anything done appear to exist to be at the beck and call of everyone around them, whether it be via phone call, SMS, Facebook, Twitter or whatever the current distraction du jour is.

That’s fine if you believe that you exist only for the needs of others or that you are willing to sacrifice your priorities in order to meet everyone else’s.

However, if you believe you exist to serve a Greater Purpose, using your strengths, gifts and talents to the greatest potential possible, you cannot exist this way at all.

When I plan my day (right after my Quiet Hour), I note who needs to call me that day and I set up my phone to allow calls and SMS to come in from those people or people associated with them.

Family members, my closest friends and colleagues / friends who are currently in trouble and need support are always on this allowed list.

If you didn’t make it to that list for the day, when you call or SMS me, you will be redirected.  I won’t even be aware you reached out until the end of the day when I do my end-of-day wind-down.

While many have told me that this is unfair or uncaring for the people who might want to reach out to say hi, to ask advice or to complain incessantly about something they have no interest in addressing themselves (using me as the whipping post for their complaints), I reply to the criticism with these observations:

If I exist to be everyone else’s entertainment, company, source of knowledge or whipping post, at what point do I get to focus on who I am and why I exist?

If I have to be at everyone else’s beck and call “just because” but the other person reserves the right to reject speaking to me because they are busy or don’t feel like chatting, where is the fairness and balance in this exchange?

If I allow everyone else to monopolize my time, who is to blame when my work / play doesn’t get completed to my satisfaction or for the needs of someone else – the people who called me or the person (me) who allowed them to overrun my day?

Is my ego that weak that my sense of worthiness and self-value is established by the number of people who reach out to me?

If it takes me 20 minutes to get back on track after a distraction, how much work can I really get done if I allow distractions to flow in through the day?

How respectful am I to you (or to someone else) if I keep pausing myself or interrupting them to check my phone?

Do the interruptions contribute to my day or do they just burn time that can never be reclaimed?

I chose one person in particular who didn’t understand any of these ideas (he called them selfish) and I called him daily “just to chat”.

After a few days, he understood, but not before getting angry with me first.  After he calmed down, he got it.

According to my mobile carrier, my phone sends / receives 22,000+ SMS messages a month.  I use SMS more than voice (unless the person I am interacting with prefers voice chats) because I’m busy and focused on meeting my goals as well as serving the needs of the people around me.  I keep communication brief, direct and fact-focused.  People not used to this eventually come to appreciate it and often adopt the same approach themselves.

If you choose to spread yourself across your entire network without any sense of focus or discipline, how do you expect to meet your goals or the goals / needs of those whom you serve (unless you don’t have any goals, in which case wasting your time or having it wasted for you won’t feel like a crime to you)?.

By the way, many times when people call you to kill time, there is a possibility that you were the last person available to them.  How does it feel knowing that your time is of such little value to them that spending time with you is only slightly better to someone than having absolutely nothing to do at all or that they called you simply because they were bored (regardless of what is happening in your day)?

The Bottom Line

The people who complain the most about not having enough time to get things done are often the same ones who have no sense of focus or prioritization in how they use their time or how they allow others to use it.  They also don’t care if / how they waste the time of others.

Those of us who have the discipline to protect our time / results by shutting out distractions believe that we don’t have the time to complain and we don’t have the right to tie up other people’s time “just because” (since we don’t like them doing that to us). We’re too busy being grounded in gratitude to have the opportunity to create and collaborate and we are focused on creating results (whether for work or for play).

And besides, if I have a complaint to make, making it to someone who can do nothing about it infects two people with a negative attitude (instead of one) and meanwhile, my problem still exists.  On top of that, the person whom I have just infected is now distracted, unproductive or spreading my negativity outwards like ripples in a pond.

We all have 24 hours in a day.

Do you use those 24 hours for balanced work / play / learning / sharing / loving effectively, do you waste them or even worse, do you allow someone else to steal them from you?

Are you sure?

I’d love to hear your thoughts but don’t bother calling / SMS’ing me to tell me unless you know that you’re on my calendar today!

In service and servanthood – create a great day for yourself and others because merely having one is too passive an experience.

Harry

PS When I do entertain the complaints of others, I remind them that I am a “touch-once” person.  When a problem comes up, we can avoid it, talk about it or do whatever we want with it.  However, if we don’t adopt a “touch-once” policy and address it as soon as it comes up, it will always be there tomorrow.

So when someone comes to me with a complaint or they are seeking advice, they can only bring it up once.  If they want to discuss the same topic later without having tried to resolve it, I shut them down.  Lack of intention or effort on their part is not an excuse to burn up my time.

If we don’t focus on solving problems at the earliest opportunity, we may find we don’t have much energy / time left to address opportunities for creating and collaborating because we’re too busy being burdened down by the noise of unresolved problems.

And that only leads to more complaining.

I’m Still Not Dead … Just Busy

Silence is a source of great strength. - Lao Tzu

Silence is a true friend who never betrays. – Confucius

I’m always fascinated by the people who reach out to me when my blog contributions get light as they have been in recent months.

Some reach out because they miss the content I write – thank you for your kindness.

Some reach out because they want to see if I’m healthy or even alive – thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Some reach out because, in their belief, people who write blogs should (read: must) write blogs everyday and they feel it is important that I know this.

Well, as one can see from my social media feeds, I am alive and well – thanks for asking.

As for those who believe that people who blog must do so daily, I offer the following (tongue-in-cheek):

Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

It reminds me of the cartoon floating around on social media a few months back that said “20 years ago, you didn’t take a Polaroid of your oatmeal and then run around the neighborhood bragging about it, so don’t do it now.”

My reality is that I write blogs when the following conditions are met:

1. I’m not busy with other things
2. There is a subject that moves me emotionally and is one that I believe will move others emotionally also.
3. There is a subject where I believe I have a contribution to make in a unique way that has not been satisfied by others.
4. There is a subject where people need / want to be informed or influenced.

f I can’t satisfy that criteria for publishing a post, I stay focused on what matters around me – family, friends and business.

You know … that thing we used to call reality …. and priorities.

Sometimes the subject I would like to write about concerns things that might alarm people or are things I cannot get permission to write about due to my work background and so I decide (or someone decides for me) that I am better off keeping my mouth shut.  For those, I usually find a way through my #1206 “fiction” series.

In what I do, I spend most of my days giving an opinion – verbally, pictorially or orally.  As a Newfoundlander (from a culture built upon storytellers) who has experienced a lot and been blessed by many people and events, I have collected a lot of stories that I love to share.  My dentist and I had a laugh last week during an emergency oral procedure when I couldn’t speak for over 3 hours.  She said it was like trying to quiet Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

While many people love to hear themselves speak, it is not uncommon for people to hear me say, “I’m tired of hearing my own voice – it’s your turn to speak.”

There are times in my busy days when I feel called upon to listen and I honor that calling as it always comes for a reason.

And then there are times when cerebral people like me just like to be as I noted in Keep the Noise Down, I’m Thinking.

So I’m not dead …. but I do enjoy the quiet now and then.

We can’t be talking all the time, you know.

Or should I shout that so you can hear me?

Create a great day, because merely having one is too passive an experience.

In service and servanthood, quietly.

Harry

Wasting Time On New Year’s Resolutions

Everybody sooner or later has to drop the luggage and the baggage of illusions. - Carlos Santana

Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough. - Charles Dudley Warner

I believe that behind both the person who weighs 400 pounds and the one who weighs 85 there is a lot of baggage, and it has nothing to do with their bodies. - Kirstie Alley

Ah yes, it must be the first day of the New Year.

People have flocked to social media yet again to trumpet their intentions for the upcoming year – more money, more love, less weight, more success, more travel, more excitement, less drama, more stuff, less stuff … blah blah blah.

Expectations of success are running high in the heady days of the New Year.  The only problem is that outside of the fact that we now date documents with a ‘2014’ instead of a ‘2013’, nothing else has changed, especially the most important thing of all.

You.

Since this is the case, why should the upcoming year produce any result better than the previous year?  Outside of a warm, fuzzy feeling and the cries of “This is my year!”, nothing has changed in any substantial way for 97% of people who believe that they will win the Life lottery this year.

Maybe those people should try some of the following in order to increase the possibility of success when it comes to manifesting their dreams.

Cut the following out of your Life diet

1. Negative people.  You know the ones.  They are always complaining, undercutting others (and you behind your back), telling you your dreams don’t matter or just dragging you down.  This includes anyone … family, friends, etc.

2. Time stealers.  While similar to the previous group, they may also be the ones filling your Life with drama or using you as a stepping stone to their own dreams at the expense of your own.

3. Brain rotters.  A number of people who constantly complain that their Life is not going anywhere but are the same ones who can instantly bring you up to date on the latest Hollywood gossip, reality show or online game.

4. Vagueness.  I upset a lot of people because I insist on a sharp definition of expectations and results.  When someone asks for something vague, I demand precision which in turn creates mutual accountability and responsibility.  People who would rather avoid this are the same people who will hang a failure on you when vagueness produces the wrong result all the while telling you that you are difficult to work with because “no one else has ever asked for specifics before”.

5. Over-simplifiers. People who say “just overcome your fear” or “just go for it’, etc. without understanding your Life context and the emotional baggage that swims in your head are hindering you more than helping you.  If we could just walk away from our fears and self-limiting beliefs, wouldn’t we have done so already?

6. Everyone who needs help.  Notice that I bolded the word everyone.  We must all help as many people as we can but if we attempt to save the world at our own expense, we will eventually lose ourselves in the process.

Then add the following.

1. Positive people.  These are the people who seek to create a better world for themselves, you and everyone else.  Not everything they say or do feels comfortable but they do it because they know that the intention is to create something better.

2. Personal growth time.  Time dedicated to strengthening your emotional, spiritual, relational and physical self is essential to fuelling your way to success.  You’re intelligent enough to know what you need – you don’t need a high-priced guru to tell you what you already know.

3. Measures of growth. A means of measuring improvement and progress is important.  Affirmation that you are making progress matters, especially when the inevitable difficulty arrives that threatens to knock you off course unless you have reminders of how far you have come.

4. Examples of success. Observe and model successful people.  Nobody is exactly like you but those who have overcome obstacles have much to teach you …. if you are open to learning from them.  Don’t focus on unsuccessful people but be cognizant that they also have lessons to offer.

5. A sense of discernment.  Being able to discriminate between what matters and what doesn’t ….. matters.  Doing the right things in the right order, the right way at the right time is critical to success.

Then identify your goals

Make sure they are measurable.  If they are not, you won’t know if you actually get there or not.  You also won’t know what corrective action to take should you be temporarily knocked off course.

Then make note of your present location

Because you can’t establish a destination and a plan to getting there unless you are realistic about where you are starting from.

Then add optional components

Your personal regimen, including elements of faith (or not), meditation or anything else that matters to you needs to be established.  Don’t let others tell you what this regimen should or must be.  You know what you need – beg, borrow, steal, adapt or invent what you need to fill in the gaps.  You are unique – there is no one-size-fits-all methodology that fits you perfectly.

Then perfect ….

1. The ability to say no to losers, incessant dreamers who never get started (but tell a good story), losing opportunities and anything that will tear you down or not bring you closer to your goals.  Say it respectfully and forcefully.  If your response ticks them off, then you know that you have probably saved yourself from a larger problem down the road.

2. The ability to say yes to winners, opportunities for growth, reasonable risk and anything that creates a better world for yourself and others.  Too many people are afraid to say yes when the Universe presents them with the opportunity of a Lifetime, either because they have fear, a sense of inadequacy or some other self-limiting belief.  Start small and over time you will discover that you become audacious in your ability to embrace opportunity.

Then remember ….

Success comes with time invested, hard work, perseverance, intelligent risk taking, sharing, giving, collaborating, helping, accepting help, service to others and luck.  There is no one-size-fits-all, overnight success plan.

There will be pain.

And there will be victories.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint

What separates those who consistently experience pain from those who find victory despite pain often comes down to those who insist on running the marathon with a 200 pound stone in tow versus those who have shed as much baggage as possible.

So before you establish your great goals for 2014 and beyond, ask yourself these questions:

1. What baggage do I need to shed in order to achieve my goals, knowing that the baggage comes in many forms and has held me back in the past?

2. What positive elements can I add to my Life to give me a greater chance of achieving my goals?

3. How badly do I want my dreams to manifest into reality?

4. How do I know that the answers to the previous questions are accurate?

Because if a “lifestyle guru” doesn’t bother exploring this (ferreting out what holds you back), layering on more “stuff to do”, additional processes or “feel good” will only clutter an already full brain.  The upside (for them) is that you will make the “resolution / goal setting experts” wealthier. 

In fact, they need you to come back year over year because their success depends on your inability to produce it.

And besides, if you can answer these questions honestly, objectively and audaciously, you won’t need a guru to tell you what to do next.

Because you will already know.

Create a great 2014 for yourself and for others.  You deserve it but you must earn it and you must want it badly enough to do whatever it takes to create it.

Otherwise we will be having the same conversation next year.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Setting Your Expectations Low Enough

I was delighted to hear that my home province of Newfoundland and Labrador has a chance to win a gold medal at the 2013 U21 Men's Canadian Fast Pitch Championship.  If they win their semi-final game, they go on to play for the gold medal.

So given the opportunity to claim gold and be considered best of the best, why do local news agencies show headlines like this (look at the lower left – “NL Assured of at Least Bronze”)?

Instead of proclaiming the opportunity for a gold medal, the local news agencies are playing the more negative, more scarcity-driven “at least if we lose, we can still win a bronze”.  What’s wrong with a headline that proclaims “NL Goes For Gold At Fast Pitch Championship”?

I think that too many people focus on what they can settle for instead of what they have the potential to create.

I know from personal experience that when I focused on what I could settle for or what I felt I was worthy of while experiencing a diminished sense of personal value, I produced a result commensurate with that level of thinking. 

Zig Ziglar refers to this as “stinkin’ thinkin’”.

And when I focused on what I was capable of, with an acceptance of my true value, that I produced a result of much greater value and impact.

In your personal and professional Life, do you set out to win or do you set out to not lose? 

Do you have your eye set on what you are capable of producing or what you are willing to settle for?

Are you sure?

How do you know?

Can you prove it?

The difference in thinking has a surprisingly powerful impact on your motivation, your execution and your results.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum – August 12, 2013

The NL team indeed took the bronze, a well-earned finish that they should be proud of.  Maybe the next time, the local media will project a message that expresses more positive potential.

Patience, Elevators and Worn “Door Close” Buttons

I’ve been doing a non-scientific study of elevators lately because it appears to reveal an interesting aspect of our behavior.

In practically all of the elevators I have been in, the button most worn (often by far) is the “door close” button.

I understand that there’s all kinds of debate on the web about whether “door close” buttons really work, whether they are there to help us feel in control, blah blah blah.

Frankly I don’t care whether they work or not.

What is intriguing is that even though we know the door will close on its own, usually reasonably quickly, we insist on pressing that button a lot anyway (and often repeatedly, as if multiple presses versus a single press will signal increased urgency to the elevator).

We can’t wait the few moments for the door to close – it’s not closing fast enough.  After all, the 10 seconds or so we saved getting to the floor of our choice makes a huge difference, doesn’t it?  Yeah, we wasted 5 minutes earlier reading our horoscope or checking Facebook, but NOW we’re in a rush.

Impatience is everywhere …. well … sort of ….

We see examples of unbridled impatience everywhere, whether it’s in the driver that constantly skips lanes to no apparent benefit, the people who camp out weeks in advance to be the first to get a newly released phone and the like.

We are a culture of “got to have it now or else”, “make it happen now or else”, etc.

But when it comes to the important stuff, we are not only not impatient, in fact we are quite complacent.

For example …..

Gun violence in the US continues unabated.  In fact, we are unable to have an intelligent conversation around guns at all.  The debate rapidly dissolves into two camps – the people who insist that we have no guns at all and the gun advocates who cannot rationally explain the difference between needing a gun for self protection versus needing a grenade launcher or a machine gun.  Both sides come armed with statistics and an intention to not care what the other side says. The dialog fails before it starts.

Mental health concerns in Canada and the US continue to rise at alarming rates while government budget cutbacks reduce treatment options for people who need them or throw patients out into the streets to their own devices. We don’t seem to care unless we are directly affected.

In addition, no one seems to care about studies that demonstrate that violence in our media, whether it be in movies, video games, songs or as promoted by our “role models”, is having an influence on the desensitizing of young minds.

And few seem to care that the three afore mentioned concerns (and others) are colliding in complicated ways until events like Newtown, CT occur.  Well … we do care … I guess …. we just aren’t interested in changing things in any kind of measurable way.  

Well, in fairness, we talk about it a lot.  We write inspiring stories, build heart-moving memorial plaques, give eloquent speeches and the like.

That’s good, isn’t it?

Well … I guess it depends on whether measurable, positive change comes from this activity, doesn’t it?

As someone noted on the media on Friday.  After the Virginia Tech shooting some years ago, not ONE change was made in Virginia in regards to gun access, mental health treatment or any of the other factors that have been identified as contributing to that incident.

We’re also quick to say that “the thing” that we like (whether it be guns, the media, etc.) are not the cause and so we pass the buck, waiting for someone else to solve the problem.

Meanwhile ….

The world is still plagued by war, disease, pestilence, hunger and poverty.

Now don’t get me wrong.  Even a species as perfect as ours (at least in our own eyes) will never be perfect and there is MUCH beauty in the world.

And there will always be hunger, disease, war, violence and everything else.  Thinking positive thoughts, ignoring negative news and praying our brains out will not change that.  Nature routinely runs 10% over capacity in general (creating shortages) and it’s part of our genetic wiring to be far from perfect when it comes to how we deal with each other.

However, if we are going to get impatient about “stuff” perhaps it’s time to get a little more impatient about what really matters.

For example, why aren’t we angry that proposed rules that may have taken the shooter in Newtown, CT. off the streets were not imposed because the ACLU claimed foul regarding the imposition on someone’s rights to privacy and how terrible it would be to be medically treated or hospitalized without the patient’s consent.

Why aren’t we angry that the shooter’s rights to personal freedom trumped the rights of those young people and teachers to Life itself?

Life will never be perfect

It can’t be because we are not perfect.

But it sure can be better.

Our potential to be better demands it.

Just because we admit that Life can’t be perfect doesn’t mean that we accept that “anything goes” either.  That’s a cop out and an excuse for indifference, apathy and selfishness.

So the next time you reach for that elevator “close door” button as you feel frustrated that the door is not closing fast enough, stop and ask yourself.

How can I turn this energy into something more productive?

The world needs your energy and your contribution to solutions more than ever.

As a strategy advisor to Wall St, Fortune 25 companies,  governments and the military, I can assure you that we need your contribution a lot sooner than you realize.

Energetic but random execution, like Monty Python’s 100 yard dash for people with no sense of direction, produces little of value.

But complacency or impatience for that which is unimportant produces even less.

Is your energy focused on what matters?

How do you know?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Addendum – December 17, 2012

This blog has been out for about 6 hours or so and I have received approximately 1,000 private messages in the form of emails, direct tweets, FB messages and LinkedIn messages.

Of the messages I have received, about 15% have general comments in them.

However ……

Approximately 42% of those messages are slamming this entry for its alleged uber pro-gun stance.

And ….

Approximately 43% of those messages are slamming the same blog for its uber anti-gun stance.

It is intriguing to see what different people can read into the same words, words that are neither pro OR anti-gun.

It goes to show that if we are sensitive about a subject, we will see anything as an attack.  Perhaps if we could lower our emotional sensitivity, we could create a dialog focused on facts and results.

Leaving the “Junk” Behind

Watching a couple of friends stewing over things that don’t really matter reminded me of this story that I read many years ago.

Two monks, sworn to celibacy (including forbidding touching or speaking to a woman) and dedicated to living a peaceful, worry-free existence were walking along a road when they came upon a river that they needed to cross to continue their journey. 

Beside the river was a woman wondering how she would cross the river.  She tearfully explained to the monks that she was carrying much needed food to her starving family and had to return to save their lives.

One of the monks picked up the woman and carried her across the river, laying her down safely on the other side.  She thanked the monk and walked away.

As the two monks continued their journey, the monk who had not touched the woman was eyeing his companion and as he did so, the frown on his face deepened.

After they had walked about 10 miles, his companion stopped, turned towards him and asked him why he was staring at him.

The monk replied “You know full well that our vows prevent us from even speaking to a woman and yet you dared violate our vows by carrying that woman across the river”.

His companion nodded his head and then replied, “That may be so but I left the woman at the river.  You, however,  have  been “carrying” her for the last 10 miles.  Which one of us is in greater violation of our vows?”

The monk thought about it, nodded without saying anything and they both continued on their journey.

Our day is filled with blessings and challenges.

Carry what you need to carry to create a great day for yourself and others.

As for the rest ….

…. leave it at the river.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

The iPhone 5 - Fascinating Insight Into Humanity

I noticed with interest over the weekend that the number of pre-orders of the iPhone 5 have hit the 2 million mark.

People are making plans to take the day off from work, school or family to stand in line for hours to pick up the highly coveted communications and entertainment device.  One person noted in this article camped out for two weeks at her local store to pick up the last version of the iPhone.

Many have turned to social media to share their fantasies about the little handheld device that appears, from their description, to give them a reason for being.

And as the stream of fantasies and descriptions of raison d'etre consume social media, there is a fascinating side to this.

If people put as much energy, excitement and passion into their businesses, their relationships, their personal growth and their Life in general as they do for stuff like this, the world would be even more amazing to behold.

In the meantime, we muddle along as a species, making some fascinating choices in terms of where we direct our passion, our strengths, our talents and our unlimited capabilities.

I used to get really frustrated with this, especially given what some world leaders have been preparing for in terms of socio-economic upheaval, wars and other things that will affect all of us.

But I finally realized, with the help of some friends,  that not only do I not have the energy nor the right to try to help all these people to exhibit better behavior, this is in fact exactly how everything is meant to be.

Life – Correct It or Be Corrected

Many people were offended when this picture made the rounds in social media.

The interesting thing about being offended by such a picture is that often times, the feeling comes as a result of knowing deep down inside that there is an elusive or hidden truth to the inference suggested in the picture.

But knowing something and taking action as a result are not often dance partners in Life and you can’t force people to face the demon that causes them to feel disrupted or offended.

But the Universe does have a way to wake us up when we choose not to wake up of our own volition.

Change is coming.

World leaders are preparing their governments, their laws, their infrastructure and their military for it.

There are many people who see this change and are positioning themselves to be stronger after it has come and gone.

As for those who don’t care or who continue to direct their incredible potential towards things that don’t matter ….

Well ….

They are merely proving this man right:

Not that they would know or even care who this man is.

And for this reason, there is nothing to be frustrated about as people fail to live up to their phenomenal potential.

It is as it should be.

Isn’t it, Mr. Darwin?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS  There is also the idea of rewarding people commensurate with their contribution to society and the personal sacrifice that they make for all of us.

But that’s a subject for another day.

Bringing Value to Your Social Media Network

Have you ever taken a moment to assess how much value you bring to your social media network?

Equally as important, have you ever taken a moment to assess how much value your social media network brings to you?

A strong social media network is a prized possession.  When people collaborate, they create opportunities to learn, to share and to change the world.

But a strong social media network is like a classic automobile.  When taken care of and nurtured, it is a source of pride and enjoyment.  It brings a sense of purpose, fulfillment and joy to your life and to the lives of others and therefore provides value.

If it is not nurtured with effective, proactive maintenance, it eventually turns into something that takes too much of your time and appears to be of little value.  It may even become something you come to resent as you seek to find the value that you know should be there but is difficult to see.  It’s the classic automobile that has potential but which is buried in a pile of junk in an old barn out back, waiting for its potential to be rediscovered.

If there is no value in some relationships, why invest in them?

When you are on your way to work, to the mall or wherever, do you stop and chat for 30 minutes with every random stranger you meet with intent of building a lifelong relationship?

Of course not – if you did, you would never get anything done.

So I wonder why people would do the same thing with certain slices of their social media network; spending too much time trying to incubate all the relationships instead of focusing on the relationships that really bring value to each participant in the relationship (or third-parties who will benefit from their collaboration).

Many spend too much time with their “broad-side-of-the-barn” approach, get very little for their unfocused activity and then complain that they aren’t producing the results they would prefer to produce.  Many who spend a lot of time doing this lament that they are run off their feet because they are so busy.

Yet when their effectiveness (and sometimes happiness) are actually measured, the results are embarrassing.  They have confused activity with productivity and action with traction (completely different from the story of success that they claim exists).

I would suggest that growing a network of immense size and unknown value that takes a small staff to maintain is not the right approach.  If people selected the members of their social media network more effectively, they might find that the relationships bring greater quality to their personal and professional lives and the lives of others.

I know that some people will cry foul with this observation.  It is true that there are people who use their networks VERY effectively.  Others can learn from how they contribute to and participate in their social media network.

However, when many people complain of poor results or the fact that they have no time to get anything done, you realize that these people still haven’t figured out how to use social media effectively.

In fact, I don’t think they are using social media at all. I think it is using them.

As with all technology, control the use of social media effectively otherwise it will control you. 

In 2011, I have decided to eliminate 80% of the connections in my social media network.  My network is quite large and has reached a point where maintaining the network is becoming a full time job (for example, my LinkedIn 3rd degree network has almost 16 million people in it and drives a lot of traffic in my direction that I have no interest in and where I can offer no value in return).

I did this last year and it greatly reduced the amount of noise in my life.  It is time for a second pass.

Feelings will be hurt.  Some people will be offended. That is unfortunate but if we live a life doing everything that everyone else expects of us for their own gain, we would have no time to live our own lives.

My Life, the time I have remaining on this Earth and my unlimited potential to make a difference are too important to waste.

I believe yours is too important to waste also.

So why waste it?

To you and yours, I wish an amazing abundance of health, wealth and happiness in 2011.

In service and servanthood,

Harry

Pay Attention to the REAL Source of the Problem

It is interesting to watch some of the items at play within the American psyche these days when it comes to personal and national security.

On the southern border with Mexico, the US Government is focused on an “us versus them” mentality as it spends billions every year trying to keep the drug trade from sending drugs across the border into the US.  While the focus is on the cartels themselves, little is said about the millions of US citizens who fuel the drug trade with their ever-increasing taste for illegal drugs in the first place.

Waging a war against your own citizens doesn’t make a government very popular.  On the other hand, waging war against an external threat is ALWAYS valuable.

On the airline security front, there is great controversy over the full body scanners, whether in regards to alleged health concerns or, for those who don’t want to be submitted to the scanner, the full-body pat-down that results.  Despite all of the money (billions of dollars annually) and controversy behind the security measures, security can still be easily circumvented.

Some time ago when I was traveling through Toronto International Airport, I observed a cleaning lady with a large cleaning cart showing her ID and being waved around security.

I sent a note to CATSA, outlining my concern with this.  Assuming the cleaning lady is trustworthy, someone could distract her outside security while someone else plants something on the cart (she even left it unattended at one of the bathrooms).  Once the cart has passed uninspected through security, the process could be reversed.  Voila – an illegal object has been passed through security.

The response from CATSA was in essence that they were experts in security and I wasn’t, therefore I should mind my own business.

Another time flying from Newark, NJ to a point in Eastern Canada, I had a large package that could not fit in the x-ray machine in Newark.  TSA officials inspected the package, deemed it safe for carry-on and resealed it using TSA-labeled tape.

After I went through customs in Toronto, I found myself outside of the secure area and I had to re-enter the secure area in order to catch my domestic connection.  When I offered the package for inspection to CATSA, I was told it didn’t need to be inspected because it was sealed with the TSA tape (which looks like packing tape with a TSA logo on it).

All I could think was “the things you could do if you got your hands on a roll of that tape”.

Now, by writing this, I haven’t revealed anything brilliant to terrorists – anything we can think of, they have already thought of.

However, I look at these items, I see the billions being spent on them and I wonder:

Are we REALLY focused on the solution or are we just putting a band aid on the problem?

And if that’s the case …

Why aren’t we doing a better job of focusing on the true source of the challenges we face?

Only when we acknowledge the real source of the challenges we face and we focus on solutions collaboratively can we really eliminate the issues.

Of course, the experts in these areas know this.

Don’t they?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS

1. Citing the billions invested in airline security as being the enabler to keeping people more relaxed about travel and thus keeping the economy moving doesn’t count.

2. And on another note, let’s hope that terrorists don’t invent explosive thread or we will find air travel to be really exciting as we are asked to strip down prior to boarding.