One of the characteristics about the career I have been blessed to have is that it has given me access to a lot of “interesting” people. With access to such “interesting” people, I have been able to explore a curiosity of mine for some time, to seek the truth regarding a significant, impactful piece of information that I have felt should have been disclosed to the public many years ago.
As I have moved ever-closer to “the truth”, I have discovered a few things:
1. What I thought was the truth is in fact a truth, a subset of a larger set of circumstances that I wasn’t aware of (and actually wish I didn’t know).
2. Having gotten very close to the truth that I sought, I don’t know what to do with it and in fact, I wonder if I should have pursued it in the first place.
3. Some people, in an effort to hide the truth, are much more passionate about defending it than the ones who seek it. They may also live by a completely different set of values and ethics when defending it.
Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
A lot of people who have knowledge of my pursuit have expressed a keen desire for me to spill the beans, with cries of bravado that “we must embrace truth at all cost”. Of course, spilling the beans doesn’t impact them adversely and so it is easy to root for me from the sidelines.
Some even appear to enjoy the excitement of a “Hollywood moment’, feeling like they are Jason Bourne taking on the system and that in the end, the hero gets the girl, some really cool cars and the gratitude of the world before riding off into the sunset.
Uh huh.
Having experienced the offer of witness protection as a key witness to the prosecution in a fraud trial some years ago, I can assure you that the reality of such situations is nowhere near as fun and exciting as Hollywood might suggest.
I have discovered, surprisingly since I work hard to help clients plan for unexpected outcomes, that I have been caught off guard with the point that I have reached and that I need to pause and reflect on what I should do next.
My grandiose plan that I intended to manifest when I reached my destination is proving sorely insufficient and now I find myself in the not-so-enjoyable place of knowing something that I would probably be happier not knowing and in a position where I may not be able to make any change of positive value.
I can’t forget what I have learned and yet wonder if is it even possible to move forward based on what I now know? Better yet, should I move forward, given that moving forward potentially creates great risk for me and others close to me as I explore a world that plays by a different set of rules?
For someone who has built a career around strategy, measurable outcomes and solving difficult problems, such a position presents a difficult challenge that I must solve.
I am reminded of the importance of not assuming that we know the entire truth when we set out upon a journey. Oftentimes, information is not revealed until later in the journey and so it is important to not cloud our initial intentions and passions with insufficient information. Had I known in advance what the big picture looked like in this situation, I may not have explored it at all.
I am also reminded about the importance of preparedness – that there is a strong possibility that a significant change in intention and execution may be in order upon arrival at one’s destination. It may also be a fact that once one has been exposed to certain events and information, pretending nothing happened is not an option and that choices must be made.
It’s like learning about a planned Mafia hit and deciding one wants to secretly observe and photograph it for “the big scoop”. Sneaking into the planned location and observing the hit as it’s made, you observe someone famous pulling the trigger and then suddenly you are discovered. Having been caught, you assure the criminals that if they let you go, you promise you won’t tell anyone what you saw.
Yeah … right.
I know a lot of people who have “dreams of truth”, based on limited or inaccurate information, that they passionately, aggressively and sometimes blindly or ignorantly follow to make their truth known.
They can’t wait to get what they wish for.
The problem is …… they might just find it.
Hopefully they are prepared for it.
In service and servanthood,
Harry
PS Those who fall into a “truth” by accident or have it thrust upon them unexpectedly get a pass on being prepared in advance. They have my deepest sympathy or heartiest congratulations, depending on the nature of the event!
Fascinating, albeit cryptic post.
ReplyDeleteHoping that regardless of whatever Truth you find, or finds you, I hope you stay safe and sane.
Thanks, Stephen.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't meant to be cryptic but in rereading it, I can see where you came to that conclusion. It's a sign that I haven't finished "processing" my intention that it seems cryptic ... once I have decided what action to take, I will remove the mystery in an addendum.
It's also a suggestion to others to avoid finding themselves in similar situations ... one that I find many people to be in (even when they deny it).
I'll always be safe and sane ... well ... safe anyway. ;-)
Take care and create a great day.
Harry