Showing posts with label mentoring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mentoring. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Paul Johnson–Farewell to a Perfect, Imperfect Mentor

The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves. - Steven Spielberg

Do the right thing, the right way, right now. – Paul Johnson

On Canadian Thanksgiving Day, October 12, 2015, I was heartbroken to learn of the passing of Paul Johnson, a leading businessman and philanthropist, in St. John’s, Newfoundland.

Paul, or PJ to those of us who knew him, was much more to me than just a businessman.  He was the first business mentor I had in my long career and as news of his death sank in, my thoughts tumbled back to the impact this man had on my Life.

As an impressionable young lad of 17 in 1983, I first entered the IT world as a programmer / analyst working for PJ on a new project he was dreaming of. He intended to build Canada’s first PC-based insurance system and I was selected to be developer (later architect) #1.  While everyone told PJ that such technology was a passing fad, the visionary that was PJ saw past the naysayers and with his usual heightened sense of vision and doggedness, he was determined to make it work.

It was an incredible undertaking.  Many younger people in the IT field today wouldn’t know what it is like to write computer systems that fit on SSSD (single-sided, single density) floppy disks with a capacity of 256K, make their own printer cables using manufacturer-provided pin-out diagrams or write a printer driver in assembler for every new printer that arrived.  But PJ was undeterred despite the unproven, immature technology and his vision of a PC-based insurance system, codenamed Automate and then Max, eventually rolled out on 8 single-sided, double-density floppies.

While PJ was at least a foot shorter than the 17-year-old that he hired, he was larger than Life.  On my first day on the job, I heard this announcement over the PA System:

Good morning to the good dependable people of Johnson Insurance.  Please observe the quiet hour between 8am and 9am and review your reminders for today’s important activities.  Thank-you.

It was Quiet Hour, PJ’s recognition of the importance of planning one’s day strategically instead of randomly executing haphazardly.  During Quiet Hour, you weren’t allowed to walk around, have meetings or use the phone.  You were supposed to sit and think, set goals for the day and plan out measurable outcomes by which you measured your day’s success.

33+ years later, I still begin my day with Quiet Hour.

To anyone who doubted the importance of Quiet Hour to PJ, one morning a temp was reading the announcement and thinking it was silly, burst out laughing several times over the PA.  I looked up over my desk in time to see PJ making a beeline from his office to the temp’s desk by the front door.

We never saw her again.

PJ’s attention to detail was staggering, often to the point of obsession.  One day I saw him walking through the office with a yardstick, measuring the distance between desks.  He found two desks that were a couple of inches further apart than they should have been and he yelled at Phyllis, his secretary (who should have been nominated for sainthood), to get Bob (the maintenance guy) there right away to close the gap.

Obsessive?

Perhaps – but the difference between being obsessive and paying attention to details is in the eye of the beholder.

About a year or so after I started working at Johnson Insurance, PJ had a massive heart attack and had open heart surgery.  Unable to leave the office behind (likely the thing that gave him the heart attack in the first place) and against doctor’s orders, he would leave his hospital room and wander down to the payphone at the end of the hall to call the office to see how things were going.

As an impressionable young man, I didn’t know if I was watching a mad man in action or a man who loved (and obsessed over) his work.  After the career I have enjoyed to-date, I now know it was the latter.

When PJ needed his secretary, Phyllis, he never left his office.  Everyone on the first floor of 95 Elizabeth Avenue was used to the command that often emanated out of the corner office:

Phyllis!

Truthfully, as a young man, I was fascinated by him, in awe of him and terrified of him.  He knew what he wanted and how to get it and as a shy young man, I wondered if the level of brashness (rudeness sometimes) that he exhibited was normal.

But as I grew “a skin”, I learned a lot more about this man.

His broad knowledge in many disparate areas of Life was staggering.  I remember looking at a painting on the wall of the office and PJ came along and noticed I was admiring it.  He told me the history of the artist, the subject of the painting and the techniques used by the artist to express certain elements.  “Pretty amazing, isn’t it?”, he asked, referring to the painting.  I couldn’t answer – I was still caught up in his explanation.

Similar experiences would be repeated many times in my career there.

He kept an architect’s desk (aka a drafting table) in his office for thinking and planning.  One day when I stopped into his office, he invited me around and showed me some of the things he was drawing.  He explained the importance of taking time away from noise and chaos to think through problems and solutions.  He didn’t have a name for the doodles he was making but he demonstrated the techniques he used when he was thinking through tough problems.

33+ years later, I am still drawing the same doodles that he taught me to draw.

We call them mind maps or cognitive maps today.

Time to move on

As is often the case when we outgrow a job, I left Johnson Insurance and went on to the big city of Toronto.  After I was there for about a year, I was thinking about PJ and wrote him a note, thanking him for what he had done for me in my career and that I was proud to have been “one of the good dependable people of Johnson Insurance”.

Imagine my surprise when a reply came back, with a heartfelt thanks for my note and with deep gratitude expressed for MY contribution to him.

As a young man who now wasn’t working for him, I was still learning lessons from him – the art of humility in success and for taking the time to thank others even during an impossible schedule.

By the early 2000’s, I had been living in the US for quite a while and found myself one weekend at a stamp show in Providence, Rhode Island.  There was a stamp dealer there selling Newfoundland covers (a sealed envelope with a Newfoundland stamp on it, mailed to one’s self on the day the stamp was issued) for $1 apiece and I bought them all.  Newfoundland had its own stamps prior to its entry into Canadian Confederation and as a Newfoundlander, I eagerly sought such things out.

When I returned home, I was examining my covers by holding them up to the light and I noticed that one had a letter in it instead of a blank sheet of paper or index card and I thought, “What the heck, I only paid a dollar for it” and carefully slit the envelope open.

It turned out that the envelope was not a cover but an undelivered piece of mail, where the writer was outlining some investment advice to a woman.  It was signed “Art Johnson, The Insurance Man.”

I called PJ’s son and asked if Art Johnson was any relation to him.  “Yes”, he replied, “Art Johnson, the insurance man.  That was my grandfather.”

What were the odds?

After all those years, PJ’s legacy was still with me.

Some years later, I was in Newfoundland and brought the letter over to PJ’s house with intention of returning it to him.  “I would like you to have it”, replied PJ and it still has a place of honor in my stamp collection.

While at his place, we talked about his then-current project, building walking trails on Signal Hill.  He was frustrated with the reception he was getting from people who were objecting to his “destruction of pristine land”.  “Jesus Christ”, he said to me in frustration, “Nobody talked about the pristine land when I took 50 dump truck loads of car wrecks out of the area at my own cost”.

Years after retirement, his energy to get things done and make a difference still ran unabated.

He Wasn’t Perfect

PJ wasn’t a perfect man.  I saw his anger run hot and uncontrolled at times.  He would shout at his first wife on the phone in ways that would shock many.  One day, one of his young sons stole a quarter from him and the event went unmentioned. One day about three months later, while walking with his family next to the duck pond at Bowring Park in St. John’s, he picked up his son and threw him headlong into the pond.  His son asked why he had done it and he replied, “That’s for stealing.”

Most of the family worked in the business and he had no issue with shaming them for poor performance in front of the rest of us.  My heart often felt sad for “the kids” who couldn’t be perfect enough in his eyes and who were reminded of it in a humiliating fashion right before our eyes

Sometimes when modeling a person, there is as much to be learned about how not to behave as there is in how to behave.

How I Remember Him

As I said, PJ wasn’t perfect.  It is said that saints became saints not because they are perfect but because of what they accomplish despite their imperfections.

I remember him as a brilliant, passionate, astute, generous man.  He was passionate about history and the preservation of it – especially Newfoundland history.  He loved Newfoundland and Labrador and did what he could to preserve it, spending more than $50 million of his own money to do so.

He was well-versed in many subjects, including of all things, restaurants, where he dabbled in high-end dining at the Woodstock Colonial Inn (once one of the top ten restaurants in Canada), the Starboard Quarter downtown on the harbor-front and a fast-food chain called The Top Ten.

He had a sense of humor, revealed one day when he showed me a t-shirt with the words “Whale Oil Beef Hooked” on it.  The shy teenager looking at it blushed profusely once he figured it out.  I laugh now.

He loved his family intensely and wanted the best for them and out of them so badly, that he often demonstrated it poorly. 

Then of course, there was the success of Johnson Insurance itself.

His business acumen and what he shared of it with me set the tone for my career.  He spent a lot of time with me when I was younger, teaching me what I wasn’t taught in school about strategy, goals, planning and execution, about persevering when others suggest you are crazy, you will fail (or both) and how sometimes one has to stride ahead of everyone else because that is what you are called to do.

He had a fire in him that came out as anger sometimes and at other times, dogged determination, unlimited kindness and absolute brilliance.

He was also a man who was recognized publicly for the amazing things he accomplished, being a member of the Order of Canada, a recipient of an honorary doctor of laws from Memorial University of Newfoundland, a member of the Order of Newfoundland and Labrador and a member of the Newfoundland and Labrador Business Hall of Fame.

In the end, he wanted the best out of everything and everyone around him and sometimes took to dragging us along until we could see what he could see.

He did so without fanfare or demand for recognition – the mark of a true gentleman who did what he did because he passionately believed it to be the right thing to do.

That is what it is to be the type of renaissance man that PJ was.

Sometimes, renaissance men wait patiently for us to catch up.

Other times they are not so patient.

In the meantime, they amaze us with their vision, touch us with their kindness and generosity, wow us with their knowledge and yes, sometimes terrify or offend us with their execution.

But when we do catch up to them, we are better for the experience, finally seeing what the renaissance man sees while learning a few things from him along the way.

To my first business mentor who died on Thanksgiving Day, I express my deepest gratitude for him and my deepest condolences to his family, especially Lois, Darroch and David.

My life personally and professionally is due in large part to the well-established businessman who took a chance on a geeky kid who hung out in the CompSci lab in college.

May you all be so fortunate and blessed to have such people in your lives.

In service and servanthood,

Harry – One of PJ’s good dependable people

PJ’s Obituary:

Johnson, Paul Jolliffe, C.M., O.N.L., LL.D.

Passed peacefully away at his home in St. John’s, Paul J. Johnson, at the age of 86. Predeceased by his first wife Joy (Clouston), his daughter Heather Johnson-Ballard, and his grand-daughter, Diana. He is survived by his wife Sally (Clouston), children: Darroch, David (Heather), Lois (Robert) Desjardins, John (Rosemary) Kuehn, and Robin (Dave) Kenny; brother, Evan (Neva); brother-in-law, Peter (Pearle) Clouston; sister-in-law, Donna Clouston; grand-children: Chris, Alexis, James, Paul, Laura, Beth, Sarah, Peter, Ben, Hannah, and Leah; Son-in-law Brock Ballard; and many other colleagues, former employees and dear friends as well as his long time secretary, Judy Rudofsky.

Paul Johnson entered the family business, Johnson Insurance in 1949, which he sold in 1997. The Johnson Family Foundation began in 1987, and created the Grand Concourse Authority in 1994. Even up to his passing on Thanksgiving Day, Mr. Johnson continually showed passion, energy, an unflinching drive for excellence, and absolute determination. Paul Johnson’s vision through the Johnson Family Foundation, the Johnson GEO CENTRE, (the only Project bearing his name), the Grand Concourse, and the Railway Coastal Museum, along with his many other contributions to St. John's and to all Newfoundland and Labrador, has left a legacy to be shared and appreciated for generations to come.

Many who had the opportunity to work with Paul Johnson will remember his prodigious spirit and unmatched generosity. His preservation of the stories of our past have become a story to be told for years. We have lost a great man and true leader, whose legacy will live on forever. When Paul Johnson was presented to Queen Elizabeth, he was introduced as a philanthropist who had donated millions of dollars, his time and efforts, working to make Newfoundland a better place, Queen Elizabeth asked “Why would you do that”, Paul Johnson replied “I am proud to be a Newfoundlander, and I want to help other Newfoundlanders to feel as proud”. Paul Johnson was a shy and private person who wished to have no “fan fare”, as such, following cremation, a private burial will be held.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

The 9 Principles of Giving (and Receiving) Advice Effectively

Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counsellors there is victory. – Proverbs 24:6 (ESV)

Those of us who have been around for a bit can attest to the reality that we are often asked to provide advice on Life, work, relationships and the like whether we feel (or actually are) qualified to answer such questions.  Most of us who have been taught by Life (either at our request or against our will) eventually discover that we are often asked more questions than we ask of others when it comes to such guidance.

After a couple of very deep conversations this week, I got to wondering about the process of giving and receiving advice, the best ways to accomplish it and the  reasons for doing it.  In addition to my own conversations, as someone who spends more time than I should in coffee shops where free advice flows copiously and as an ardent observer of the human experience, I am fascinated by how advice is offered and accepted.

As I reflected today on the conversations I participate in or observe and I thought about the exchanges that went well versus the ones that failed miserably, I got to thinking that maybe a checklist of how to make the exchange more helpful might come in handy.

Here’s how my checklist would look for giving and receiving advice effectively.

For those who offer advice

  • Listen

You have been asked to offer advice.  What does the other person really need?  Why are you the person who has been solicited?  Are you  qualified or have you agreed because you like to hear your own voice?  Were you asked for advice or are you offering it without solicitation?  If not solicited, your opinion may not be relevant or welcome.  Listen carefully – solutions are often revealed early in the conversation by the person seeking advice.  And remember, even free advice is never free – do you (and they) understand the cost of offering your advice and whether your advice is accepted or rejected?  Time itself is of immeasurable value regardless of the advice offered and received.

  • Give counsel to the doubtful

Many people who seek advice actually know the answer to the questions they are asking but a level of self-doubt or hesitation has set in.  Don’t presume that just because you are being asked for help that the other person doesn’t know what they are doing or what they need.  It is possible they just need an affirmation of self-worth or value.

  • Instruct the ignorant

Ignorance comes in multiple forms and may exist as lack of knowledge, lack of understanding, lack of Life experience or plain old stupidity that needs to be corrected.  Understanding the difference is tremendously important when it comes to understanding the type of advice being offered and how it is being delivered.  If you don’t know the answer, say so.  Don’t send someone spinning in the wrong direction because your voice of authority and Life experience doesn’t have the humility to say “I don’t know” or “I can’t help you”.

  • Admonish sinners

When people screw up, you have to be direct and tell them so when asked (and sometimes, even if not asked).  Candy coating answers is likely to send a message that their mistake was minor enough that repeating it is acceptable when doing so may be fatal.

  • Comfort the afflicted

The strongest of people need support whether they admit it or not.  Words of support that lift rather than tear down are important.  Even those whom you believe have everything going perfectly in their lives need to hear and feel “the love” more than you realize.  However, don’t insist on comforting the ignorant who don’t accept advice well (or at all) while they keep coming back to your well of knowledge.

  • Forgive offenses

People make mistakes, especially the people offering advice.  It is because those who offer advice have made mistakes that their advice is so valuable.  Lecturing from a belief in self-perfection does not work and is not helpful.  That being said, repeat offenders requesting advice and offending anyway should be approached cautiously, lest they manifest as the person who claims to want help but is merely a time-waster, a dreamer not grounded in reality or an emotion / energy vampire.

  • Bear patiently, the troublesome

Nobody’s perfect, being a product of their Life experiences and genetics.  If you had their Life experiences and genetics, you would be exactly like them in behavior and potentially in result.  That being said, don’t let that be a reason to become a whipping post for someone who would rather drag you down with them than follow your advice or those who insist on asking for advice while repeatedly telling you that you are wrong.

  • Pray for them

However you do it, whether it is actual prayer, positive thinking about them or their situation, or some other way, thinking about how you feel about them will impact the quality and intention of the advice you offer.  Negative thoughts will produce negative results for both of you.

  • Listen

The conversation is over.  Did you offer the right advice, the right way for the right reason?  Was it received well?  Was it acted upon or rejected?  Was it appreciated?  How do you know?

For those who receive advice

  • Listen

You have asked to receive advice from someone. Have you asked the right person?  Do they seem to care about you or do they just want to hear themselves talk?  For those whose opinion you respect, are you really listening or are you disrespecting them and their time by dismissing or rejecting the advice they are offering because you already know you are right and wanted them to say so?  Did you ask for this advice?  If not, does it still have value and if so, do you have the humility to accept it?  Even free advice is never free – do you (and they) understand the cost of accepting or rejecting their advice?  Time itself is of immeasurable value regardless of the advice offered and received.

  • Give counsel to the doubtful

Does the person offering you advice understand that maybe you just need some moral support or encouragement or do they talk over that need with the belief that you need to be told what to do and why to do it?  Do you point this out if it happens?  How do they respond?

  • Instruct the ignorant

As someone who has asked for help, you may need guidance because you have lack of knowledge, lack of understanding, a lack of Life experience or that you made a major mistake that needs to be corrected.  Do you have the courage to admit the difference and to know which one applies to you?  Does the person helping you know which one applies?  How do both of you know?

  • Admonish sinners

If you screwed up, you need to admit it.  Pretending you haven’t or being upset with someone who cares enough about you to tell you that you have screwed up is not going to help you get back on course and may discourage them from offering help in the future.  That being said, do not accept unnecessary criticism, unfair criticism or criticism meant to diminish as opposed to correct.

  • Comfort the afflicted

One of the greatest issues with pride is that we can’t ask for help when we need it.  We need to learn that asking for help requires more strength and courage than traveling a difficult path alone but produces a much greater harvest.

  • Forgive offenses

If you have made a mistake, it will likely be pointed out and you must accept responsibility for it.  As human beings, we need to be more gentle and forgiving with ourselves as well and accept that we make mistakes.  If we are repeat offenders, however, we deserve to be punished for it (whatever punishment means) and need to understand the reasons behind such punishment.

  • Bear patiently, the troublesome

When we ask for advice, we walk a fine balance between not wanting to be too much trouble for someone while at the same time, not presuming that a request for help is a bother to others.  Do you show that you are learning from those who offer advice and do you put those lessons into practice or do you insist on wasting their time for a variety of reasons known only to you?  How do you know?  How do you demonstrate to the person offering advice that you value it and are putting it into practice?

  • Pray for them

However you do it, whether it is actual prayer, positive thinking about yourself or your situation, or some other technique. think about how you ask for advice, how you receive it, how you weigh what is appropriate, how you put good advice into practice, etc..  How you feel about yourself and the people you ask for help will impact the quality and intention of the advice you receive and how it is offered.

  • Listen

The conversation is over.  Did you  receive the right advice, the right way, for the right reason and from the right person?  How did you react to it?  Will you act upon it or reject it?  Did you show appreciation and gratitude for it?

Whenever you ask a question, whether it be offering advice or listening to it, make sure that it stands up to the scrutiny of “Why?” (why am I saying this, why am I asking this, why am I doing this, etc.) and “How do I know?”.

Because if both parties cannot answer these two questions honestly and adequately, then the advice exchange will not produce the desired result.

The Bottom Line

We must always remember that it is easier to offer advice rather than to receive it and it is always easier to solve someone else’s problems (or so we think).  We must also pay attention to the exchange when solicited for advice because we may discover that we learn more than the person who asked for the advice in the first place.

We must also remember that advice comes in many forms and sometimes the greatest advice we will ever receive doesn’t come because it was solicited or from the sources we would have expected.

Sometimes we are qualified to offer advice.

Sometimes we are not.

It is important to know the difference.

We must remember that it is always ok to ask for advice as long as we appreciate and honor those whom we ask advice from.

And finally, offering or receiving advice must be grounded in true listening and true humility.  It cannot be offered or accepted properly without both in play at all times.

When I am asked for advice, people are often surprised by my directness, that I get right to the core of a matter quickly, specifically and in its raw form and during the exchange I call things the way I see them.

Such directness is not a licence to offend, to be rude or to be insensitive although those who are used to more passive conversations or who merely seek affirmation that they were right all along tend to react with surprise (or anger) when on the receiving end of such directness.

However, when they realize what my motivation is for getting to the matter so quickly and they recognize that a heart of humility accompanies my direct, inquisitive mind, they acknowledge that my approach is refreshing and was something they needed.

Do you have a specific approach to offering or accepting advice?

Does it work?

Is it right?

How do you know?

Someone in your world needs help or advice today.

Maybe it’s you.

What are you waiting for?

In service and servanthood,

Harry

PS Outside of the principle of listening, the remaining 7 principles are from the The Spiritual Works of Mercy as listed in the Roman Catholic Daily Missal (1962 edition).