Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?



I just had the most intriguing interaction with a Twitter user by the name of @Donna_West that reminds me why we have so many problems in this world.

It’s because we are so busy trying to prove we are right that we don’t even bother listening to the other side.

In fact, we are so busy trying to prove we are right that we don’t even have time to respect the other side and understand their intentions before we slam them for something.

I had noted on Twitter that Senate Majority Leader Reid blocked the vote on President Obama’s Jobs Bill and within a few minutes, the White House issued an email asking people to demand that their Republican reps do the right thing and vote for the bill.

My tweet read:

Truth: Dem Senator Reid blocks vote on Obama jobs bill and then email blames GOP - tsk tsk tsk. http://t.co/lhz1g1Wa

Within seconds, @Donna_West replied:

@HarryTucker you are really so stupid you don't understand what happened and why?

Now … I hadn’t actually commented on who was telling the truth and who wasn’t.  I had merely made an observation.

The exchange with Ms. West developed into a full-on confrontational exchange where I was accused of not understanding government, not understanding how to tweet, not “getting it” in general, having an alleged ignorance of how government works, etc.  Her tweets flowed freely and venomously.

I tried to interrupt her emotional tirade with a couple of tweets, one referencing her Twitter profile where she describes herself as a “peace lover”:

@Donna_West I am always impressed when self-proclaimed "peace lovers" use intimidation to accomplish their means. #fail

@Donna_West Please find another direction to send your misguided, uber-aggressive, confrontational attitude. :-)

After a few more insulting tweets, this confrontational individual decided to report me to Twitter as a spam generator who was threatening her.  Meanwhile, I am receiving the brunt of the intimidation from this person’s network, including this gentle tweet from @good2bgreene.

@HarryTucker So you're just some schmuchk who invented the term "leadership incubation" to have purpose? And you think @Donna_West is spam?

Ahhhhhh …. what it is to experience intimidation from people who need to get a hobby.

Or attempted intimidation anyway.

The funny thing is that as I write this blog, a couple of these people are still wound up about me and continue to issue one tweet after another insulting me.  There is an incredible level of anger in them aching to escape.

Anger that is now directed at me because I posted a single tweet, disappointed that Republicans and Democrats can’t get along and solve the problems that need to be solved.

The response from a couple of people in the twitterverse doesn’t really matter.  There are lots of people in the world who won’t agree with everything I say.  If I needed 100% acceptance of every thought I ever had, I’d be waiting for the rest of my life.

What does bother me is how aggressive people will be in defending their position against someone else BEFORE they even know what the other person’s position is.

They make an assumption, the anger rises within them and they are off to the races.

Of course, what aids them in expressing their aggression is the anonymity they feel by targeting someone 1000 miles away.  If they stood toe-to-toe with my 6’3” frame, I don’t think they would necessarily be as aggressive.

Then again, I could be wrong.

The funny, sad, predictable thing is that many of these people, after insulting the living daylights out of someone, will turn around and play the victim when the person defends themselves.

Many bullies like to play the victim – it somehow helps them rationalize their actions, forgetting that often they are the instigator and not the victim.

They do it with a misplaced desire to “win” the confrontation, even if the other side is not even arguing.

But in the end, when such interactions occur, no one wins.

When such interactions occur, the opportunity to collaborate dies and with it, the opportunity to really produce a solution dies as well.

When someone uses anger, intimidation or misrepresentation to assert themselves without understanding the ideas or intentions of the other person, everyone loses.

As long as this continues to happen, whether it be in social media or on Capitol Hill or anywhere else for that matter, we will never solve our problems nor meet our true potential as individuals or as a society.

Hopefully, we are not yet ready to write an epitaph that reads “Civility – RIP”.

If that day ever comes, that and the result it produces will be the greatest disappointment we as a species will have ever created.

We can do better … in fact … we must do better.

Our future depends on it.

In service and servanthood,


PS I took a quick look at @Donna_West and @good2bgreene to see what they are posting as I published this post.  They have moved on to aggressively intimidating other people now.  Whew … I thought it was just me. :-)


  1. Mr. Tucker,

    The problem with capitalists like you is that you rape the world for your personal gain and leave the rest of the world to suffer in misery.

    My good friend Donna West doesn't go far enough in her criticism of people like you and all the other pigs on Wall Street. I know what you look like - if I see you on Wall Street I will stab you in the fucking chest. That is the best you and any other fucking capitalist deserve.

    I dare you to publish this unless you are the coward that all capitalists are. We will have our say - all of you capitalists will die.

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    I posted your blog for two reasons:

    1. To show that I post everything ... even criticism.

    2. To show others how hateful some people are and how people like you believe that intimidation and threats are the way to accomplish what you seek.

    I wish you well, including dealing with whatever has created the obvious anger in you. I will say that if you have such courage, you would prove it by signing your name instead of leaving such comments as from "Anonymous".

    Take care and CREATE a great day ... no matter how difficult it is to do so.


  3. I meant to say ... "I posted your comment". Sadly, the personal attack, including threats from some folks in the extreme left, continue to come from a few interesting individuals in personal emails and tweets. It is a reminder of the dark side of social media.

    I was also intrigued by the fact that these people are self proclaimed "peace loving people" with some people talking about their faith and their walk with God.

    It is sad that people believe that "their God" would endorse such comments as noted above.

    But then ... that will make a great subject for another blog. :-)

  4. Say what you want Mr Tucker.

    All capitalists are fucking liars that cant be trusted. Roseanne Barr is right when she says that all of you should be beheaded. All of you capitalists and the fucking media are lying to us and have been holding us down too long.

    Be ready for the storm that is coming. We will be heard and there will be a reckoning to punish everyone who is oppressing us Americans.

    After we shut down Wall Street you will see who is in control. If I were you I would be very afraid. President Obama will crush all you basterds who have stolen from us forever.

  5. and why do you moderate your blog, you fucking coward?

  6. Dear Anonymous,

    First of all, the foul language is not necessary. I respond to all comments on my blog but I prefer to engage people in dialog with appropriate levels of decorum and respect. As I note in this blog and many others, respectful collaboration is THE way to finding solutions.

    As for moderating my blog, I have always moderated it. I don't use it to block comments. However, I have had bots that used to hijack my block posts with self-promotion links and such, including links to porn sites and virus-spreading websites, and so I moderate the comments to protect my readers.

    If you wish to continue this dialog with an eye towards exploring a collaborative approach to solving the problems in the country, I welcome it.

    However, if you just wish to insult me or attempt to intimidate me with threats of violence, then I will move on to more important subjects and allow you to express your rants in any way you want.

    We need to work towards solutions and not bash people. Bashing people doesn't solve anything and creates greater rifts that need to be overcome.

  7. I have tried to post several comments on this blog. Mr. Tucker has deleted them and then put the blog in moderation. A true leader, Mr. Tucker, is not so easily intimidated. What are you hiding from? Honesty?

  8. Dear Anonymous,

    As you can see, your distasteful comments have in fact been posted.

    However, given that this dialog is producing little of value for me or for my readers, I would invite you to direct your energy to real solutions in the world. The world needs collaboration, respect and solutions to the many challenges it faces.

    Taunting, threats and the like get boring, tedious and unproductive and are not worth my energy.

    I always release comments posted to my blog .... but then again ... people who contribute to my blog are interested in furthering a dialog (whether agreeing or disagreeing with my comments) and therefore offer value.

    There is no value in this dialog.

    Take care and create a great day - use your human potential to make a difference.

  9. As an interesting footnote almost a week later, I continue to get threats, taunts and the like from a couple of these individuals.

    While I rarely censor comments to my blog, incessant threats and taunts are the sign of minds that need to redirect their passion towards healing the nation and helping the nation overcome its challenges. Allowing such mundane things to fill up my blog are of no value to my wonderful readers and are not worth my time to read or comment on.

    To the people who are sending these threats, your comments are going straight to "trash".

    While it technically could be flattering to be the focus of someone's attention, in these matters it is a sad use of the ultimate potential of the human mind.

  10. And besides ... if a comment is labeled as Anonymous because self-identifying could jeopardize someone's job, family, standing in the community, etc., I allow those comments to flow through.

    When someone sends taunts or threats and wishes to be identified as Anonymous, I believe such a position is without courage and doesn't warrant being published.