Monday, March 10, 2008

Financial Crisis

* Not my typical type of blog post – but a fictional musing that came to mind *

In a quiet, softly illuminated boardroom in Washington DC, twelve men and women were silently reading a report before them.

The gentleman sitting at the head of the table silently watched his counterparts, waiting patiently for them to finish. He is dressed impeccably, right down to the eye-catching gold cufflinks in the cuffs of his heavily starched white shirt.

As each one finishes reading the report and looks at him, he nods silently, as if to answer every question he knows each one of them is pondering.

Finally, as the last of the group finishes reading the report, he clears his throat and asks softly “Are there any questions?”.

A woman at the far end of the table acknowledged his question. “The Fed wants to know how credible the IMF’s source of information is.”

Mr. Impeccable nodded imperceptibly before speaking. “The IMF’s source is unquestionable.”.

“And you believe that our grip on the economies of the world is in jeopardy if we don’t act?”, she responded.

Mr. Impeccable paused for a moment before answering. “You have the report in front of you with the numbers that back our assertions. If we do not act quickly, the gap between our elite membership and the rest of the world will decrease significantly in the upcoming years. Our source assures us of this.”

A balding, sweating gentlemen to the left of Mr. Impeccable leaned forward and with a gravelly voice interrupted Mr. Impeccable, “And the way we can continue to grow our personal wealth is to close a couple of financial institutions in the US. That’s all there is to it?”

“It’s pretty simple”, agreed Mr. Impeccable, “Our source assures us that this simple act will be enough of an action to create additional opportunities for us to increase our lead over the rest of the world.”

The sweating gentlemen, pointed to Mr. Impeccable and demanded, “This sounds too simple. I also want to know who this source is before I agree.”

Mr. Impeccable stood up and looked each member around the table in the eye. “We have never questioned our source in the past and he has always served us well. His advice has been extremely beneficial to us since 1947. Why would we question him now?”

There was silence in the room as the meetings attendees stared at Mr. Impeccable and then the IMF report before them.

Mr. Impeccable continued. “All we need to do is fold a couple of organizations and that will be sufficient. We have been assured that no large scale ripple effect will occur as a result of this and will provide a large return for us personally. It has been suggested that Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch are the two organizations we will fold.”

Suddenly there was an eruption of protest from the room, which Mr. Impeccable silenced quickly by raising his hand and commanding silence.

“What is more important?”, he asked, “Our personal growth or protecting a couple of miscellaneous organizations on Wall Street?”

Again there was silence.

“Are there any dissenters?”, he asked at last.

His question was also met with silence.

“Good”, he said with a nod of satisfaction. “Let us proceed. Let the minutes show that we have come to a unanimous agreement on the matter.”

The sweating gentlemen pulled out his Blackberry and quickly scanned it to see what meetings he had coming up for the remainder of the day.

He grunted as he realized the second week of September, 2008 was already coming to an end.


In a meeting room buried within the bowels of the United Nations, a group of well dressed men and women quietly listened to the speaker at the end of the room. His voice was soft and they strained to pick up every word.

“As you know”, he continued, “The world is in much need of help. Global warming continues unabated. Pollution has destroyed much of the earth’s water resources. War rages across the planet. The United Nations has demonstrated its inability to get on top of these challenges. My group is offering its support to solve all of these issues.”

“Why would you want to help us?”, asked one of the meeting participants, “and why don’t you just step in and help us without these clandestine get-togethers?”.

The presenter nodded as if to acknowledge an excellent question. “We believe that everyone is worth saving. Think of it as nothing more than universal benevolence. As for just stepping in and saving you, as you all know, if we show up on each country’s doorstep tomorrow, we will be met with considerable military and social resistance that will benefit no one.”

“So what are you suggesting?”, queried another one of the participants.

The presenter paused for a moment and pursed his lips. “We would prefer to be introduced as global saviors rather than for us to inject ourselves into global solutions”, he indicated. “Global saviors have a better chance of being welcomed with open arms, avoiding unnecessary conflict.”

“Global saviors?”, responded one of the participants. “How does one do such a thing? And what are you global saviors of? What could possibly happen in the world where the people of earth would feel that we needed to be saved on a global scale?”

“That is a good point’, answered the presenter. “However, until we can figure out what type of event could create global chaos, why don’t we work out the rest of the plan so that we are ready to execute? Are we in agreement on this point?”

With some hesitation, the entire group nodded.

“Good”, said the presenter with a smile, “let us begin”.

His large, dark eyes glittered in the boardroom light as he smiled at everyone in the room. People avoided his gaze as he looked around the room.


In a sparsely furnished, bright room with no visible source of lighting, two figures sit in silence.

One of them breaks the silence. “How goes the plan to secure the water resources of the third planet?”

“Plans are progressing well”, came the response.

“How have you overcome the planet’s defense systems? This culture is crude and cannot hurt us but has weapons that will contaminate that which we seek. “

“Don’t worry”, the other replied, “We have our best ambassador working on the matter”.

Silence returned to the room.


© 2008 – Harry Tucker – All Rights Reserved

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