Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Confessions of a Gentle Arsehole

I am an impure thinker. I am hurt, swayed, shaken, elated, disillusioned, shocked, comforted, and I have to transmit my mental experiences lest I die. - Eugene Rosenstock-Huessy

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost. - Chauncey Depew

If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. - Thomas J. Watson

Of the many emails that I receive regarding my musings, there are three types that are very common.  They are:

  1. How can someone who can make make me laugh or cry also write with such a sharp (cruel) sword about certain subjects?
  2. For someone who writes such interesting (potent) stuff, especially about politicians or business, why do you write about “weak” stuff like motivational or inspirational subjects?
  3. Who the heck are you anyway?

And so, without further adieu, I feel compelled to offer a confession.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned

As someone who grew up in a small town in Newfoundland, I learned the traditional things that one learns in such small places – the value of relationships, of knowing your neighbor (heck, we knew the whole town), of an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s effort and for appreciating the small things in Life.

Moving on to an award-winning career on Wall St., I learned new “values” and walked a fine line between the values I was raised with and the new ones – values that many might perceive as being in conflict with “normal” ones (whatever normal means) but which you must embrace to succeed in that environment or face being eaten alive.

This hybrid Life, commingling a relaxed rural setting and a frenzied urban one, created a hybrid human being – a New Yorker in a Newfoundlander’s body as I like to call it.

My heart beats to the values I was raised with, prompting me to write stories like:

They inspire thousands of people to share their deepest thoughts, hopes, fears and confessions with me and I am humbled, honored and moved by their sharing and their courage.

My head is driven by the values that I was exposed to on Wall St., prompting me to share musings such as:

My exposure to “certain projects” and “special people” inspires “fictional” writing that I refer to as the #1206 series and includes stories such as:

But when head, heart and experiences collide

Having been raised on one set of values while working in a world where values are merely a suggestion or a convenience in order to get one up on others has created a hybrid that motivates me to write about things such as:

These are the musings that lawyers get all excited about but I know my boundaries and so while people get all excited they eventually give up realizing that to make an issue out of the truth will only make their client’s Life more complex (and more transparent).

The origin of the last set of musings are the most complex to decipher by some people as they seem out of character for someone who prefers to lead gently with the heart instead of aggressively with the mind.

But as with the strategic and tactical offerings I provide to clients, there is a method to my madness.

My Personal Philosophy

I believe that we live in a beautiful world of unlimited potential – a world that is simultaneously a complex, difficult chaos and a thing of simplicity and beauty that is perfectly orchestrated.

My personal vision and mission, as noted on my website, reads:

Harry's personal vision and mission.

But such a world does not happen by accident nor does it evolve into its most beautiful potential when we condone or allow indifference, apathy, wilful ignorance, greed or one of the other “values” that many people embrace.

And sometimes when one comes across people who are either not guiding us towards a better world or are actively guiding us away from one, then one needs to make a stand.

Love and respect don’t always win.

For those who think that perfect love and respect can win over anyone or any situation, I agree …. most times.

But there are some people in the world that cannot or will not respond to such kindness.  In fact, to embrace unlimited love and kindness as the solution to everything sets some people up to be a doormat - one whom other people wipe their feet upon and move on as they seek their next victim.  Some of these people are like bulls rushing towards you with intent to tear you asunder in their anger or greed-driven need to accomplish their own objectives.

Such people cannot be reasoned with with love, respect or kindness.

They know only one way to treat people and so when they run into people like me who put up my hand and say “Sorry, your journey of greed, selfishness, wilful ignorance or indifference ends here” they don’t like what they see.  They don’t like the cranial defibrillator that I present either.  The idea that their irresistible force has finally met an immovable object presents a unique and potentially uncomfortable situation for them.

A mirror is a difficult thing to behold when we don’t like the image being reflected back to us.

And so while I don’t look for trouble nor do I go out of my way to make other people’s issues my own, sometimes karma has a way of placing me in the Path of someone else for a reason.

What matters at that moment is if both sides in the random or karmic encounter are prepared to explore and embrace the reason why their Paths have crossed.

The Bottom Line

To answer the final question as to who I am ties all three questions together nicely.

Professionally, I provide strategy, tactical and large-scale technology guidance to little, itty bitty, teen weeny companies and really, really, big, gigantinormous ones (sorry for the technical terms).  I live in a world defined by facts, data and measurable outcomes.

But in reality, I am a human being who seeks to lift those who need to be lifted, to defend those who struggle and to give a voice to those who believe they have lost theirs (or believe they never had one).  I am a passionate, respectful collaborator who seeks the best in people and opportunities.

I do so because I believe as a realistic optimist (or an optimistic realist) that a beautiful world exists and can be made even better by not ignoring the things (or people) that hold us back.

And while I confess to being a gentle arsehole (my apologies for so many technical terms here), I won’t apologize for it.  Maybe the ones who see me as an arsehole need to spend more time looking within.  Perhaps I’m not so much of an arsehole as I am a mirror, offering a reflection of their beauty or ignorance.

Being a gentle arsehole has its rewards and its difficulties.  In the end, what motivates me the most are our children and the legacy that we are creating for them.  Marian Wright Edelman said it best when she said:

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much.

What do you stand up for?

Why?

Why not?

In service and servanthood,

Harry - an unapologetic, respectful, gentle (most times) arsehole (I mean mirror)

4 comments:

  1. Harry, I have been reading your blogs since I discovered you some time ago. What you challenge in the mirror you hold up to others can be harsh it is true, but always the undertones of humanity in your writing are clear to me (...lift those who need to be lifted, defend those who struggle and give a voice to those who believe they have lost theirs (or believe they never had one)). Thank you.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. In holding up the mirror, I am not attempting to criticize but rather to invite a dialog that says "How can we both be better as a result?". Many people misinterpret this, are very insecure about it or they believe I am insinuating that I am perfect.

      If they follow what I write or what I say, they will see that I am in fact saying the opposite. I am saying "WE are a work in progress, both individually and collectively. But WE don't improve unless we are willing to have an authentic, transparent, collaborative dialog."

      Such a dialog requires courage.

      In the meantime, some people see such a dialog as a threat and they choose to run over people who are perceived to be threats. I am the immovable object in those situations. :-)

      Polite, respectful ... and immovable. :-)

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    2. I understand. I think it is sad though, that the critical and the judgmental are far too often more readily received by many, than sincerity and an invitation for collegiality and dialogue. If such is to see change, it must be with the children…I have to believe it is possible,

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    3. The weak minded and the ignorant have determined that bullying carries the day and for this reason many are afraid to stand up to them.

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